Chair Maims Girl by Anal Penetration



A girl has been critically injured after the chair she was sitting on exploded, propelling sharp chair fragments into her rear with devastating consequences.

The girl, a resident of Xiamen in China’s Fujian province, was sat using her computer when the chair she was sitting on exploded.

She was quickly taken to hospital, and in emergency surgery doctors recovered a dozen screws and fragments of plastic from her flesh.

Though severely injured and barely conscious, her condition is now stable.

Just why the chair exploded is not recorded, but the previous case of a boy killed by a similar explosion indicates the likely cause – the boy, also Chinese, was killed when a manufacturing defect caused the gas cylinder in the chair to explode, propelling sharp parts into his rectum and causing him to bleed to death before help could arrive..

A number of other cases of Chinese chairs exploding are also recorded – dubious standards of manufacturing in such chairs has the unfortunate side effect of turning them into potential death traps, capable of exploding with considerable force and projecting the cylinder and parts of the chair into the vulnerable rear of anyone unfortunate enough to be so seated when the chair goes off.

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    Comment by Anonymous
    11:22 14/05/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    You know the world has become a terrible place when you can't even sit on a chair without worrying about it injuring your ass.

    Avatar of ventlus
    Comment by ventlus
    11:56 14/05/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    jesus now i need to be worried about if my chairs are made in china or i get a probe up me but =/

    Comment by Anonymous
    12:29 14/05/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    If I was living in China I'd use a wooden chair/stool. Shit aint worth it.

    Comment by Anonymous
    12:05 14/05/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    she is not fat , that is some guys hands holding the fragments in a surgical drape...

    Comment by Anonymous
    09:47 14/05/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    EVERYTHING is made in china.

    Avatar of Cú
    Comment by
    01:28 01/09/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    Your mom was made in China.

    Avatar of diskonline
    Comment by diskonline
    09:33 14/05/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    hell, you really don't need to worry about this, we never export chairs of this quality to your countries.

    These kinds of cheap chair doesn't even have a brand, or pass the quality test.

    Comment by Anonymous
    17:21 14/05/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    Uh... guess again. The United States has a history of exporting things that do not meet United States standards to other countries with lesser standards.

    Avatar of diskonline
    Comment by diskonline
    18:20 14/05/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    US shipped so many garbage to China, so China also shipped some garbage to US sometimes, not "export" though, but "smuggle"; if you have any questions about this, ask your customs offices.

    Comment by Anonymous
    09:53 14/05/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    Only China would allow something that old and in disrepair to position under a little girls ass.

    Comment by Anonymous
    12:51 14/05/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    That's it, i'm making myself a kevlar version of the latex butt.

    Avatar of sarcasteak
    Comment by sarcasteak
    10:38 14/05/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    I always sit on the edge of my seat... am I safe? :<

    Comment by Anonymous
    03:39 01/09/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    Not at all.
    In the case of that girl, the fragments would still have flown up with extreme violence, and without the cushioned barrier of her bottom, they would go all the way up, very possibly into her ribcage, and consequently, her lungs, but that is the best case scenario. The worst case scenario is that the highest probability is that the fragment would almost certainly hit her in the spine.

    As bad as it sounds, if something like that were to happen, the bottom would offer the best possibility of survival.

    Comment by Anonymous
    16:18 14/05/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    my dick can do that too , noobs

    Comment by Anonymous
    16:19 14/05/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    If this happens when chinese make chairs... can't w8 till they make a tampon

    Avatar of Ero-Kurage
    Comment by Ero-Kurage
    16:42 14/05/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    gee, horrible ! that's why i tried my best to avoid made in china. And they are proudly doing the world exhibition in shanghai, lol, should bring some of these chairs to show the world the real chinese-standard, not just glamorous olympics and world exhibiton, while earthquake causalties are piling up near tibet and asking ppl in hongkong for $ to help.

    Comment by Anonymous
    16:41 14/05/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    She should be glad it exploded into her ass and not her pussy, she would never have sex or children again.

    Comment by Anonymous
    17:06 14/05/2010 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    Got to agree with that sentiment, to be honest.

    Comment by Anonymous
    15:02 14/05/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    God! All the AHOLES that lol about this news either have no soul or feelings at all....

    Avatar of Yuuki
    Comment by Wisteria Berlitz
    09:03 14/05/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    made me think you Angel Beats episode:5

    Avatar of Reichi
    Comment by Reichi
    13:45 14/05/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    Even though this happened in China... I feel that must go and apologize for all the terrible things I've said to my chair. @___@

    Comment by Anonymous
    13:48 14/05/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    Oh good gracious *replaces computer chair with ordinary kitchen chair*

    Comment by Dark Mage
    14:43 14/05/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    Ok I'm adding a steel plate to my chair since I have some steel and a plasma cutter on hand right now and will go shopping for one made in the USA.

    I found a source after on the first page after typing in made in USA office furniture in google.
    It'll cost me $300 but looking at that it'll be $300 well spent like that time I refused to accept made in China brake pads.

    Comment by Anonymous
    08:45 14/05/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    Holy Shit, death by anal chair penetration again!? Good thing my chair is not that type!!

    Avatar of Niwa
    Comment by Niwa
    06:36 14/05/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    Jumpin jesus christs o__o
    oy those manufactors really like to half-ass it.

    Comment by Anonymous
    06:36 14/05/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    Funny, I have a China-made chair that I am sitting on right now and have had numerous other ones in the past, and they haven't exploded on me!

    This sounds like a manufacturing defect, which can happen to ANYONE, even United States and other country-made items.

    Taking a potshot at China over this is NOT at all good, when this could and probably has happened with American and other country made goods.

    Avatar of Moe Cyclops Bishoujo
    Comment by Mika the Banned
    06:43 14/05/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    This is why you gotta pull the sofa in front of the computorz instead of using Chinese quality products :p

    Comment by Anonymous
    06:31 14/05/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    Was this another one of those gas pressure chairs like in the last article about this? I'll be blunt here: these same chairs are sold in the United States, and I have NEVER heard of something like this happening in the United States.

    If these chairs are 'exploding' and it is linked to the pressure things in the chair? It sounds like the wrong type of gas is being put into the pressure thing.

    Avatar of moebius22
    Comment by moebius22
    06:03 14/05/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    WTF man! What are you trying to do to us with this shit!

    Avatar of Barbarian of Gor
    Comment by Barbarian of Gor
    06:09 14/05/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    "Slave made goods flom amiable venelable Cathay!"

    Wonder when they'll kill/maim/Caligula someone in the USA/Europe?

    Really, I got to hand it to China, they've managed to combine the worst aspects of Communism and Capitalism all in one horrible mess. However, as a Chinese ex-g/f of mine pointed out, it's still far better than the Emperors and the transitory times of the international speculators...

    Avatar of Barbarian of Gor
    Comment by Barbarian of Gor
    06:15 14/05/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    And take note, despite my deliberately "Un-PC" humor, I'm not per se "Bashing China"... Actually they are behaving rather intelligently on top of autocratically and not so humanely.

    We have the WTO creating a RL "1984" scene where big corporations rule the world and cause endless war to ensure power and profit. China's just going along with the plan since it enriches them immensely and gives them many opportunities.

    So, under the nose of some "Billionaire Bankers" that only see the next three month's profit, the "Fiscal Quarter" in their terms, there's an ancient long lived society probably planning to take over the world, one that thinks at least decades ahead.

    Sure, they'll go "Me am Vely Honoled to selve yu!" and make all kinds of cheap junk. As Marx said: "The last capitalist shall sell us the rope with which we shall hang him!" -- Maybe I should have converted that into "Long Wang" speak (reversing Rs and Ls) but nah...

    As Napoleon said: "China is a sleeping dragon and it will shake the world when it wakes."

    Avatar of darkmind35
    Comment by darkmind35
    06:53 14/05/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    It must be hard, having your virginity taken by a chair. Suprise buttsecks?

    Comment by Anonymous
    07:52 14/05/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    There's over a billion fucking Chinese. Hell, why do you think the government there SUPPORTS this kind of shit? To help bring their numbers better into line so they are easier to control.

    Avatar of R3TAK
    Comment by R3TAK
    08:14 14/05/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    Fuck I'm not ever sitting on a chair with a gas cylinder under it.

    Comment by Anonymous
    08:14 14/05/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    With exploding chairs like theses, we may never sit on them again...

    Comment by Anonymous
    08:44 14/05/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    chinese products should be banned from every 1st world country on earth...
    let them kill off all the 3rd world with their crap products...
    i have never seem a chi-com product that was worth a **** other than their AK and T33 variants...

    Comment by Anonymous
    17:07 14/05/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    Again...... go online and search for 'chair explosions US Made'. Be shocked at the fact that this is NOT uncommon with even UNITED STATES MADE chairs with pressurized pneumatic tubes.

    Comment by Anonymous
    08:15 14/05/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    Hey where did my coke stash go?

    Comment by Anonymous
    07:43 14/05/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    fabricated story! another way to ruin the chinese reputation. where is the news about this?

    Avatar of Ciscotaku
    Comment by Ciscotaku
    07:46 14/05/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    the chinese government censored it.

    Comment by Anonymous
    07:09 14/05/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    That's just not true. Most Chinese manufacturing plants use 70's era equipment to save money which means tolerances will be will be very lax. That combined with little or no QA means you got to be careful when you're buying cheap.

    Comment by Anonymous
    07:03 14/05/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    what a pain in the ass

    Avatar of WarWeeny
    Comment by WarWeeny
    07:14 14/05/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    claim your moneyz noaw!


    Comment by Anonymous
    07:31 14/05/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    Well, here's one that will never (again) enjoy anal.

    Avatar of DeathCrunch
    Comment by DeathCrunch
    07:24 14/05/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    You ought to be. You'll be thanking me next time someones says that and everyone over the age of twelve turns to laugh at them.

    Avatar of Dirty_Dingus008
    Comment by Dirty_Dingus008
    07:08 16/05/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    In the first place... WTF was a gas cylinder doing doing in the chair in the first place?!

    Avatar of liger_zero9999
    Comment by liger_zero9999
    15:48 16/05/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    Dirty_Dingus008 said:
    In the first place... WTF was a gas cylinder doing doing in the chair in the first place?!

    because their cheaper than oil filled struts.

    Comment by Anonymous
    22:07 17/05/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    When I bought my chair, the seller accented that the pressurized canister was made in France, that above it is a metal plate, and that it's dangerous to tamper/customize. Man, now I realize what great info he's been telling me.

    Comment by Anonymous
    13:23 17/05/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    Great! Osama will just a buy a million of these and spread them all across the government... Much much cheaper, undetected, and causes more pain.

    Comment by Anonymous
    13:37 15/05/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    chinese really wants to fuck you up.

    sucks to be chinese

    Avatar of ranivus
    Comment by ranivus
    15:32 15/05/2010 # ! Neutral (0)

    Fuck im screwed... I bought mine from Office Depot for $25 and its made in china.... but its such a nice chair! It reclines and has armrests and everything :(

    Going to suck when it blows up my asshole.

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