Chair Kills Boy by Anal Penetration
- Categories: International, News
- Date: Feb 20, 2009 14:16 JST
- Tags: Accidents, Bizarre, Chairs, Made in China, PC Hardware, Shandong
A fourteen-year-old boy was killed after the chair he was sitting on exploded, propelling sharp chair parts into his rectum, causing extensive bleeding, which he succumbed to before medical attention could stem the flow.
The accident occurred when the boy was alone, sitting on the chair (which was for PC use); he managed to overcome the pain and call his father, who summoned an ambulance, but it took an hour to get him to hospital, by which time it was too late for him.
The chair in question was a standard gas cylinder type, where the height is regulated by an adjustable cylinder containing highly pressurised gas, and it was this which exploded, sending high velocity chair parts into the posterior of the unfortunate youth.
In fact, it seems a spate of such incidents were reported at the hospital – 3 such injuries caused by exploding chairs were reported this month, perhaps indicating an influx of poorly manufactured chairs into the area. In 2007 a similar accident also propelled a 20cm part into the rear of a 68-year-old man, who suffered a severe 5cm wound; he survived.
The illustrated chair shows the severity of such a cylinder malfunction.
We do not hear where the chair parts in question were made, though of course with the accident occurring in China it is likely there that they were made.
Three factors are implicated in such accidents:
1. The gas in the cylinder is contaminated with gases other than nitrogen.
2. The materials used in the cylinder are deficient, reducing the durability of the part.
3. The cylinder is not completely airtight.
Oil based hydraulic devices are said to be safer, but most such chairs on the market today use gas cylinders; naturally these tend to be made in China, where this accident occurred.
The boy in question weighed 80kg (certainly a fair amount for a 14-year-old Asian youth), which might have been a factor (though this will not reassure heavier framed non-Asian adults); it is suggested that using such chairs without placing excessive pressure on the cylinder is advisable – otherwise sitting on a steel plate might help.
Via Itai News.
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Great. Now I have to wonder about the chair I sit on. D=
FUCK!!!! I HAVE A CHAIR THAT LOOKS LIKE THAT O_O!?!?!!?! Must make sure not to become killed by anal penetration :O!!!
*also case in point thank god I'm not a fat ass :O*
"The boy in question weighed 80kg (certainly a fair amount for a 14-year-old Asian youth), which might have been a factor (though this will not reassure heavier framed non-Asian adults)"
(i.e.) 80kg = roughly 176 pounds... he was 14 and 176 pounds... and that's a fair amount for an Asain youth :O
just make sure your chair wasn't made in China. XD
if paranoia persists, use a stool instead. :)
uh, thank god i dont have a chair like that.
Death is so absurd
I would have never thought a chair could explode. I swear, the news is designed to make you afraid of absolutely everything.
How odd you know becuase it is sensational news, which by defualt is designed to create some level of paranoia
i didnt even fucking know the cylinder contained gas!!
oh god.. im sitting on a pressurized chair right now... >.<
Me too. I'm glad it was fairly pricey, but was it pricey enough? I like the idea of the steel plate...
*hiss*
*POP!*
"Urgahhhh!!"
That literally is a pain in the ass.....
When you can laugh at pain that leads to death, something may be wrong with you. Yet, life gives us these situs. Just better to laugh at them while then get depressed about them.
There are no right or wrong, morally or ethically. Someone always agrees, someone always disagrees, all things you do are both right and wrong by someone's eyes.
Personally, this made me giggle, of course death is a bad thing blah blah blah, but just the way to go is sometimes hilarious.
There's no way I'd keep it after reading that. Probably one of worst ways to die possible.
Perhaps we could remove the cylinders and just replace them with fixed height rods or similar?
I'm also in one like that and my anus has never been so tight. ;_;
There are that other kind of chairs that one just turn around a few times to adjust height... hmmm time to go shopping.
My hole has been tight all day now thanks to this.
>.< oh god mine's made by ikea and i dont know if we had to assemble it or not coz its that old.... but on the bright side =D at least we're all in this together aye?
Uuhhh... I have a chair like that too... Though, I think there's a steel plate between the gas containter and where I'm sitting. And so, we're scarred for the rest of our lives because we're sitting on ticking time-bombs...
I'm using a high wooden stool... can't afford those kind of chairs even if it's made in china...
I just put pillow on it so it's soft
right now thats an awesome idea
me too T 3T
i honestly just switched my chair with the screw one that we had in the other room lawl
Gee man, this almost feels like sitting on a time bomb >.<
Im scared. I feel like im in Iraq now.
Im scared. I feel like im in Gaza now.
You two are a bunch of retards.. D8~
You need more than two to have a bunch.
now theres a bunch
I know it would expand, so I put it in advance. No pun intended.
hahahah xzeldax3 wins!!
im sitting on the 1 exactly the same as his. Even the arm rest pattern is the same!! D: OMG!!
consider yourself dead X3
Amen to that~
DISPOSE OF THE CHAIR IMMEDIATELY.
No! Sell the chair second hand, also, apply blowtorch slightly to it's gas operated part.
Sell it on the black market (or Ebay) as a deadly weapon of war. You'll get a hell of a lot more money. $$$
Somebody wants a chair right up their butt.
Me too.
OH SHI-
I was gonna post this but was kinda hesitant...
but seriously, why would anyone want to put pressurised gas into a CHAIR?! There are more simple ways to make a chair go up and down...
Not really. The pressurized gas cylinder is pretty simple. Well, there's the screw one, but spinning the chair 'round and around takes a lot longer, and can be inconvenient. On the plus side, you don't risk shrapnel into the pantaloons.
oh yeah. up and down on a chair... wait... what?
"Via Itai News"
Itai indeed...
lol, irony.
not really...
that's not ironic...
A lot of people don't know what 'irony' means, nowadays.
Personally, I find it ironic, that in Alanis Morisette's song 'Ironic', most the occurences are not ironic at all.
That's the ironic part! :P
The irony would be if the reason he sat down on the chair quickly enough for this to happen it was because he was trying to avoid getting anally penetrated by someone/thing.
I always wondered why they call themselves "Itai."
It hurts to make a report? Is it a pain in the ass? [No pun intended]
....Im never JUMPING into my chair again...
...does it make me insensitive when I laughed my ass off when I read the headline? Poor kid...well at least he didn't die a virgin?
*Golf clap*
hahah... dont worry... i lol'ed at first too...
I lol'ed too XD
I'm awesome.
...Thank you.
lol... What?
ouch a huge pain before die
1. The gas in the cylinder is contaminated with gases other than nitrogen.
maybe he farting so hard before it explode
i shouldn't be laughing at this
I lol'ed.. Best comment ever.
That cannot be: i assure you my farting is first rate. my friends know my farts before they know me, and they fear me since the first encounter. But still, after 12 years, i've never been into an accident of sort, though farting all day long on the chair. I suggest the chair was just poorly made, and i now know i'm never gonna buy a chinese chair which is not in wood.
yeah because the chair is poorly made + huge farting it will blonw
You really can't take a joke don'tcha??
Or maybe you're just stupid and do not understand how things work. ^^ Back to third grade with you
... Budget Ikea chairs aren't at risk of blowing up, are they?
no. ikea is swedish. all their stuff looks like shit but damn if you can fuck that shit up. actually, i take it back about their army knife. that does look kinda cool. like the inspector gadget of the knife world.
go go swiss miniture handsaw/toothpick/screwdriver/cleaver/car tyre deflator.
You do realize although Ikea is a Swedish company, majority of its stuffs are made in China right?
That's how I wanna go... With a bang I mean.
an bang in the ass maybe..
Well, it's only fitting, you look like you're pain in the ass. Everyone who says "i wanna go with a bang" are.
im sitting on my bed. my comp is setup on a table next to my bed '3'
What if your bed's spring rips free of it's pocket?
Hahah, oh god, I hope that won't happen.
I happen to sit on my bed too lol
I find a screw who fell from my chair, should I panic?
This is absolutely horrible. Yes, I'm wondering about my chair now too (though it's a fairly expensive one so hopefully I'm safe), but... this would be a horrible way to die. Kinda disappointed people are making jokes about it. He's just a kid.
He was...
As i type this, i think i'm sitting on a timebomb.
And it's going *tick tick tick*
*check the chair that I sat on*
Looks like I sat on a wooden chair. I don't have to risk the chair exploding on me ^_^.
My ass hurts after reading this crap. I don't think I'll ever be able to use another pressure chair again...damn I sit on one at work :(
"The boy in question weighed 80kg (certainly a fair amount for a 14-year-old Asian youth)"
That's odd. I'm Asian, 21yo, 175+cm and i only weigh about 74 kg..
What do you mean 175+? can't you just tell us your height?
First a lady gets killed by a damn chimp and now a little boy dies from anal rapage by a chair? WTF is going one with these random deaths? do people have the luxury of dying in there sleep anymore. Jesus Christ
strangulation from an ipod while sleeping
XD
while listening to music ...
That's horrible.
Only if it's crappy music.
OMFG....I Am so scared of my chair right now I am actually inspecting it hoping I see made in USA or something.
omfg its made in China....
Oh snap. I just checked mine and it's made in Canada. Thank god.
Not all the parts are necessarily made in Canada for it to be able to say that...
So essentially, no matter what, ANY chair could be made in China. = SCREWED
Ah China: Makers of fine lead-flavored foods and exploding anal-rape chairs
What they think of next?
Now I would never buy computer chairs... D:
death by anal blaster...
is clenching his ass cheeks so hard right now :s ....
your pic is very fitting for it too...
haahhahhahha
I was thinking about getting a new computer chair recently, but after seeing this I think I'll just stick to my dinner table chair.
damnit now im instinctively tightening my anus every 5 seconds or so, because i read this!
New form of terrorism, no office is safe from anal bombs.
I use a La-z-boy recliner, so I'm safe. Neener neener.
*immediately jumps out of chair* Gosh darn it!
THIS CHAIR THIS CHAIR THIS CHAIR THIS CHAIR THIS CHAIR THIS CHAIR THIS CHAIR THIS CHAIR THIS CHAIR
LOL
You asshole. I was trying not to laugh. Damn it!
14 yr old and 80kg? was he fat? I'm only 20 and I'm 50kg...
Well I'm 53 and weigh 21 stone.
Well, you're just skinny. But 80 kg does seem like a lot. Isn't that 176 lbs converted?
Perhaps it was a typo...
I didn't quite get this part too. I'm 21, 176cm and 62kg. My body mass index says I'm perfectly healthy. Maybe some screwed up unit conversion?
Even though 176 cm and 63 kg is considered healthy, it is smack right on the border of the healthiness scale.
50Kg?? Well, you're thin... height?
I'm 28, 84Kg... overweight, but not obese.
when I was 14 year old I only weighed 80lbs or 36kg...
today, I'm just a shota impersonator...
Great. Now let's see if the EU is gonna ban all gas-cylinder chairs ;-)
I don't think this'll be a bad thing xD
101 ways to die. This absolutelty one of them. >_<
ouch...
Poor boy. Good thing, I'm sitting in a plastic chair lol. I was planning to buy those kind of chair but then.. after reading this news, I'll cancel it lolol.
Okay that's the first time I'm happy with my chair.. ended up with a silly expensive one as it was the only one I found to be comfy.
The risk I put myself trough testing so many though *scared*.
Oh well at least I can rest my rear ASSured that it's one of those chairs with the 'more expensive hydrolic system'.. and it has like a 10cm plastic bit between the sitting part and the pole.
I sure as hell wont be using the slightly dysfunctional other chair that's standing in my room though. This article induces chair fobia :(
Wood chairs for the win. I feel so much safer right now.
I'm afraid of this kind of chairs, and I never use them, thats because like 2 years ago, a dude from my school suffered the same accident, thanks God he survive it, but the pressurized air on this chair can explode any moment, I know the chances are very high, but its not impossible
PFFFT
Hahahahahahahaha.
He was fucked to death.
haruhi suzumiya ftw :D
anal boomchair ftl
you should be totally ashamed of yourself. what if it happend to your relitive?
o shit...
*quickly change the chair*
man, that was pretty hurt......
14 yr old with 80 kg??
fat boy...
Talk about butthurt. Heh. Anyway, Im proud to say that I'm seated on a mahogany stationary chair. As long as im not set aflame, im alright!
Ouch! My ass. Sound like a horrible way to die and right now I sitting on one. Wondering when will it blow off. I think sitting on a plastic chair is not so bad after all.
Atleast he didn't die a virgin.
o god help
Anal virgin that is xD
I see at least one way the same end could be accomplished using a locking spring mechanism.
well i am safe i am on the toilet at the moment.... imagin having a warning lable
*WARNING* THIS CHAIR MAY SEND PROJECTILES UP YOUR RECTUM. CAN CAUSE DEATH.
Спасите наши задницы!
Oh god i feel so guilty laughing at this post and the comments. Poor kid.
.... dear lord
oh well now im not gona sit on a chair for a week...
Dude, 80kg is certainly not a fair amount for 14 years old Asian, I'm Asian and only weigh 78kg in my 22... >_<
Regardless, I guess there's a plus for using wooden chair instead.
Now my anus cant unfeel the possibility.
Hope this chair was worth the $75...
These comments are fucking awesome.
Just checked mine and it has a layer of plastic and above that a wooden plate so i hope i am safe enough.
If i am to die from buttsecks,then i'd prefer it to be from a beautiful woman with a strap-on xD
OUCH OUCH OUCH!
thank god, I am sitting on a styropor-filled bag of kind...
aren't theese things colled sitting-bag?
wayne, it won't explode and I'm happy
lmfao
Holy f*cking Sh*t, loll I'm switching to folding chairs.
Holy shit thats scary :P
Ouch...
Well thank goodness I'm sitting on a plastic chair right now. Could have gotten myself one of those chairs, but I never really liked them (even though they are quite comfortable)
As for the people saying he is fat, you should put me as an example. I'm 17 years old and I weigh 220 pounds, and I'm sure there are more kids younger and fatter than me in Asia....
Where's the boold?
suddenly, you guys feel cautious on the chair you are siting on :<
I don't think that excludes you xD
80kg is actually quite heavy and he could have been suffering from obesity. I was fat once and I never hit 60KG when I was 14. So weight could have been a factor.
And because of that the fat could have cushioned the pressure a bit long enough for him to survive calling his father.
Its a shame he died though.
I got a new chair for my birthday. It's really great. My old one became uncomfortable after sitting in it too long. This new one is great!
But he must have been surprised when it happened.
3… 2… 1… LIFT OFF!
O__O
Oh my god.
fuck it
at first i thought this was a joke...i mean a dark joke but with the guys ass being penetrated by some other guy or animal then died..
well death is a bitch...
to really know if he was over weight you'd need to know his height for an average height say 5'7 he'd be overweight NOT obese!
Now that's unusual..
I m scared for life now... thanks :(
Oh, goddammit. I can't stop focusing on my freaking chair now. The more I think about it, the more it feels like this will happen to my own chair. Do I really need to go and replace my chair now? This is not cool. D:<
And I didnt heard the most interesting part, what the fuck the boy's family did with the manufacturer company? Oh well, if it were me his father, and the law would be on their side, I swear there would be alot of dead bodies.
holy balls thats horrible Dx
HASSHIN!!
O.O
I'm sitting in a C4 explosive and didn't even know it T_T
Im thinking we should just round up and employ all the gays in the world to be chair testers.
Horrible way to go though, poor little nipper :S
right.. my prototype worked.. muhahahaha
I have to make 2000 of these and send them to Oprah..
That will teach those feminist witches!
i feel kinda bad for laughing but all the comments made me do it XD now i can walk up to someone and be like
"hey did you know that some chairs explode?"
Is this for real? Lets send it to the mythbusters!
YES. THAT IS A GREAT IDEA.
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF------------------
I wonder if he felt pain or pleasure in his "last moments". It sounds sick but I hope he didn't have the pain.
Spooky. I like sitting on those chairs all the time. Better be more careful.
People seem to be having trouble with their reading comprehension. The term "a fair amount", in this context means "a lot". Similar to: a goodly amount; quite a bit; a good number of; I like a little tea with my sugar; the pope is sort-of catholic; etc.
FUKKEN OWNED LIKE A BITCH LOL
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF, glad I just got a new chair.
Holy crap! Who else stood up after reading this?
I am still standing up, reading these comments.
Death is overrated, but death by being anally raped by Chinese exploding chairs seems like quite a fun way to go.
ur a sick bastard
Somehow your pic fits this comment xD
Do you know how hard I fap in this chair??! Time to get a big ass bean cushion instead...
I gotta be careful about my chair now... Which my brother is now seated upon... :3
How can I tell if my chair is gas or oil cylinder type?
ОЯЕБУ !!1
И ТУТ ПРОИСКИ ПОДЛОГО ЮЩЕНКО !!1
пидорский заговор
это было ональное возмездие Онотоле Васермана !11
луч паноса
D: Poor kid, indeed.
I was thinking of changing my chair (since plastic chairs aren't that comfy after a few hours ><) and buying that kind.
I better stick with this plastic one, even though my back's aching. D:
*reads comments..
I shouldn't laugh, i shouldn't laugh, i shouldn't laugh..
*lols anyway..
damn. funny comments are funny.
My ass is in danger!
I think I'm going o change my chair!!!!
damn i wan't to stand up to switch my chair but i'm im too frightened it might blow up :(
YOUR CHAIR A SPLODE
ok i REALLY need to change my chair
WHY THERE IS NOT BLOOD ON THE CHAIR
Kulli, would you keep sitting on the chair after anal penetration?
I've been sitting on the edge of my chair since reading the headline.
my ass hurts...
Alright, where is my stack of old newspapers?
no way in hell am i sitting on this chair any longer...
its funny because hes a gook
who has chairs like that?
gas filled? are you joking?
yeah well i came to this expecting to laugh and i left clenching my asshole and wishing i had a steel plate >_<
Surprise buttsex o.O
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
thats frickin hilarious!
oh shit
my dear ass is in danger!!! O.O
Scariest. Shit. Ever.
They suggested siting on a steel plate and suddenly Im visualizing myself being launched into the ceiling with my legs hanging out.
I rofld and still am (rofl)
Gas lift chairs are not scary people, they have weight limits that should be complied with. We bought one with a weight limit of 130kg, I feel confident. What IS scary, is that an 80kg 14yo is not far fetched. I saw a story on TV about a young teen in America who decided to wait until he was 300lbs before he thought he needed to loss a little weight. Now THAT is scary.
why don't i see any blood? on the chair, don't you think that would be a bit of a messy way to go?
Hmm.. yeah.. weird accident.
Internal bleeding?
I'm glad I just use memory foam stacked on top of a futon with a bean bag to lean back on as a computer chair...
Best decision I ever made seat-wise, though if I took a running leap onto it and several towers of pillows and blankets and foam all collapsed on top of me, it could be the fluffiest suffocation death in the record books...
Good thing I lie on the floor when I use the computer.
God hates Fappers!
This is your fate!
Sorry, had to say that, feel bad for the kid though...
ROFLMAO, WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED HERE !!!!!!
oh fuck im switching to a 4 legged fucker again
Автор, посты , конечно, интересные. Но вы не размышляли сменить дизайн?
omg...., thats my chair, its the same as mine EXACTLY the same, i am switching to a normal chair whit a pillow i dont want to die... at least not an anal death
last time I hate my monobloc chair and I want to replace it with a gas-lift chair, but I decided not to
I guess I won't have that problem, I seat on 4 stacked plastic chairs, if something goes wrong here it will be the legs in wich worse scenario I will fall straight to the floor. XD
Все-таки по-настоящему нравится мне Ваш блог. Всегда очень интересно читать, включая и эту тему. :)
Lol russian xD
oh shit i'm sitting on deathchair now
WTF??!!
NooooooooooooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111111111
You also have to wounder... how fat was this kid.
fake!
"We do not hear where the chair parts in question were made, though of course with the accident occurring in China it is likely there that they were made."
Whoever reads this article better check where your chairs are made. If there's a "made in China" sticker on it, chances are you are going to die due to rectal blood loss.
Can't wait for the next internet shock video, 1 man 1 chair
Coming to the internet soon, from those that brought you 1 man 1 jar. 1 man 1 chair