The winners to the 7th otaku haiku awards have been announced, with thousands of dollars of cash prizes rewarding those best able to capture the ennui of otaku life in 5-7-5 haiku verse. Sankaku Complex has humbly endeavoured to provide such crude translations of their poetic elegance as are possible in a mere barbarian tongue.
The “godliness prize” (grand prize) winner, winning ¥100,000, and with winners determined by user voting:
From the first son on
Each of them turn to 2D
3D home ruined
The 2nd and 3rd place “genius prize” winners each get ¥50,000.
Second:
Thirty-nine years old
Without money, without wife
Without any hurry
Third:
The girl who I like
Without any struggle for her
We talk together
Entries four through eight each get ¥10,000 prizes. The fourth entry, an onomatopoeic representation of “otaku laughter,” attraced much attention, though it is completely untranslatable, and, as might be expected, some of the runners-up were similarly abstruse.
Other highlights:
Sixth (Sagawa is the name of a delivery company):
Today yet again
The man from Sagawa comes
Telling me to sign
Ninth:
She is now my wife
So the author must now be
My father-in-law
And by way of an omake, the ¥50,000 2D and 3D nekomimi character audition prizes:
Sankaku Complex’s contribution:
Otaku haiku
Most lonely of pursuits yet
The harshest of truths
WOULD WIFE
My Girlfriend asks me?
Why penis in my asshole.
she is not so tight.
triti
Sankaku Complex
Got a purple onahole
She is so dam hot.
Thank you very much
triti
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Home alone Again
Shana Waifu needs a washing!
I think She Loves me.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Triti
Each week I will learn
Another trait of her mind
Seasons end too soon