The top 10 reputed failings of non-Japanese men when attempting to woo the flower of Japan’s womanhood – according to experts on the subject and Japanese girls, at least – have finally been collated and ranked.
The list, adapted from a popular guide to the subject, for once handily involves feedback from actual girls rather than random 2ch denizens or online polls:
1. Believing the myth that all Japanese girls are “loose” and “easy”
Contrary to the submissive, eager-to-please, sexually-charged nymph archetypes taking center stage in Japan’s “export culture”, the girls of Japan run the gamut from the sexually conservative, to the lusty, adventurous types, with a full spectrum in between.
“Westerners look down on people in Asia.” – Yuki, 26
“You hear so much about foreigners just wanting to play – and they will sleep with anyone. It’s a little scary.” – Natsuno, 19
2. Expecting things to just happen
While having a few drinks and letting the mood take you might be the recipe for romance in the West, Japanese girls respond to pro-activity and leadership. If you’re not sure where things are going, and you aren’t prepared to lead, then you’ll soon find yourself alone (SO RONERY).
“When they can’t speak any Japanese at all, that’s also a problem” – Tomoko, 25
“They can’t seem to do anything by themselves.” – Eri, 27
3. Not transmitting clear signals
It’s natural to forget that while we strive to decode the cultural complexities of the Japanese girl, she is similarly trying to understand our own cultural quirks. Be clear and confident about your romantic overtures; don’t bury them in hesitancy and apologetics.
“Japanese people are more definite about the status of the relationship. Foreigners are vague, so you’re not sure if you’re actually boyfriend and girlfriend.” – Miho, 23
“There are many jokes foreign guys make which are hard to understand” – Yuko, 18
4. Trying to act more Japanese
Your cultural differences are an asset more than they are an obstacle. Ask yourself this: Does a Japanese girl become more attractive to you the more she assimilates into your culture?
“Japanese men don’t usually think about anything … only food, games, TV, or work. It’s nice to experience something different, and foreign guys can be much more mature.” – Mitsuki, 24
5. Trying to get intimate in public places
Japanese girls are hyper-aware of the watchful eyes of society. Tone down the PDAs in favor of showing your affection in a more private moment. She’ll thank you for it.
“They are mostly interested in skinship, and that can be nerve-wracking.” – Ayumi, 20
“Some foreigners have terrible manners.” – Kaori, 28
6. Assuming it’s “in the bag”
Just when you relax and let your guard down, convinced that the battle has been won, your date with a Japanese girl can turn on a dime. A kiss isn’t an implicit agreement for anything more. Don’t stop leading, and keep your eyes on the road.
“Often, foreign guys just can’t read the atmosphere.” – Hitomi, 25
7. Moving too fast
Shared intentions or none, bulldozing ahead with physical intimacy can be the equivalent of shifting from first to fourth. Kissing, making out, and sex should not be big jarring steps you spring on someone, but rather points on a smoothly ascending curve.
“Because Japanese girls are quiet and not so assertive, foreigners can be domineering and persistent.” – Kaede, 22
8. Moving too slow
In lieu of clear signals from a Japanese girl, many guys find themselves caught in “limbo”. Waiting for a signal that means something to you is moving too slow. Make a decision as to what you want, and take the lead in that direction. She’s not going to lead for you.
“It can be frustrating when foreigners are vague and indecisive.” – Manami, 21
9. Relying solely on the gaijin novelty factor
“Foreign guys don’t have to try” is the myth carved on the gravestone of so many Japanese girl-foreign guy interactions. To a Japanese girl, your foreign-ness may represent some tasty icing, but be sure there’s a decent cake underneath.
“Foreigners come to Japan and make the mistake of assuming they’re really fashionable and popular” – Sachiko, 24
“They try and force their own culture on everyone else” – Megumi, 25
10. Trying to drive a wedge through the wa (和)
Wa (和) means harmony, and when it comes to groups of Japanese the importance of the concept is often underestimated. You may have found that spark with a Japanese girl – but the wa still has to be upheld. Trying to pry her away from her friends for some one-on-one time may kill your spark dead, unless you can carry this off in a natural way that maintains the flow of the wa.
“They have a tendency to focus on themselves and what they want, rather than the needs of the group.” – Naomi, 22
Fortunately, recent trends seems to indicate even the uncouth barbarian male could hardly be in any worse position than his Japanese counterparts – those looking to try can find out more in the guide proper.
Wow! japanese girls are weirder than the girls of my country XD. If that’s even possible XD
WONDERFUL Post.thanks for share… waiting for more.
dylan http://www.23hq.com/laura4crush/a/about
es solo una cuestión de educación y/o cultura… mujeres difíciles o fáciles las hay en todo el mundo, y si es sobre el idioma pues con el tiempo se aprende
I’m gonna call bullshit on your “popular guide on the subject”. That’s clearly and ebook scam site. Their websites all look exactly the same, and offer to sell usually a sub 30 page pdf with random info you can find on the net anway, to sucker the rubes out of 20 to 50 bucks depending on the site.
I know 2 friend of mine who had experience with Japanese girls which doesn’t follow these rules. First friend of mine just went to Japanese on vacation and met a Japanese girl and she took his virginity on the day before he was about to leave. He told her he was going back to the U.S. and she told him she want to lose her virginity to him. I laugh at him when he told me this since she was obviously not a virgin but a virgin hunter. He didn’t want to believe it since he wanted his first time to be with another virgin and also he kept saying she was acting shy. Anyone who watches Japanese porn knows it’s an act. She never contacted him afterward.
Another friend of mine dated a Japanese girl and oh boy she was something special. she moved to the u.s. for college and my friend was coming home for a visit and met her at a club. She dated my friend once and had sex with him and afterward told him she have a boyfriend and want to dump her boyfriend of 3 years for him even after knowing my friend is in the army and will have leave soon. My friend was just surprised but told her it’s up to her on whatever she wants to do but if she chose him he is ok with that. She dumped her boyfriend and start dating my friend during whatever days he still have left before going out of state to his military base. She contact him all the time and one time she surprise him by buying a plane ticket to see him. She even went to New York to hang out with her friend for Christmas and bought a last minute plane ticket for my friend. He was not suppose to leave the military base and could had went to jail for it but she already bought the ticket for him. Their relationship went up and down afterward and his Japanese girlfriend was a little too strange, possibly mental and controlling and crazy horny. She like having sex in public places and give random blow jobs at the most inconvenient time like while driving. also she is crazy jealous.They broke up at the end obviously.