“Top 10 Mistakes Foreign Guys Make With Japanese Girls”


The top 10 reputed failings of non-Japanese men when attempting to woo the flower of Japan’s womanhood – according to experts on the subject and Japanese girls, at least – have finally been collated and ranked.

The list, adapted from a popular guide to the subject, for once handily involves feedback from actual girls rather than random 2ch denizens or online polls:

1. Believing the myth that all Japanese girls are “loose” and “easy”

Contrary to the submissive, eager-to-please, sexually-charged nymph archetypes taking center stage in Japan’s “export culture”, the girls of Japan run the gamut from the sexually conservative, to the lusty, adventurous types, with a full spectrum in between.

“Westerners look down on people in Asia.”  – Yuki, 26

“You hear so much about foreigners just wanting to play – and they will sleep with anyone. It’s a little scary.” – Natsuno, 19

2. Expecting things to just happen

While having a few drinks and letting the mood take you might be the recipe for romance in the West, Japanese girls respond to pro-activity and leadership. If you’re not sure where things are going, and you aren’t prepared to lead, then you’ll soon find yourself alone (SO RONERY).

“When they can’t speak any Japanese at all, that’s also a problem” – Tomoko, 25

“They can’t seem to do anything by themselves.” – Eri, 27

3. Not transmitting clear signals

It’s natural to forget that while we strive to decode the cultural complexities of the Japanese girl, she is similarly trying to understand our own cultural quirks. Be clear and confident about your romantic overtures; don’t bury them in hesitancy and apologetics.

“Japanese people are more definite about the status of the relationship. Foreigners are vague, so you’re not sure if you’re actually boyfriend and girlfriend.” – Miho, 23

“There are many jokes foreign guys make which are hard to understand” – Yuko, 18

4. Trying to act more Japanese

Your cultural differences are an asset more than they are an obstacle. Ask yourself this: Does a Japanese girl become more attractive to you the more she assimilates into your culture?

“Japanese men don’t usually think about anything … only food, games, TV, or work. It’s nice to experience something different, and foreign guys can be much more mature.” – Mitsuki, 24

5. Trying to get intimate in public places

Japanese girls are hyper-aware of the watchful eyes of society. Tone down the PDAs in favor of showing your affection in a more private moment. She’ll thank you for it.

“They are mostly interested in skinship, and that can be nerve-wracking.” – Ayumi, 20

“Some foreigners have terrible manners.” – Kaori, 28

6. Assuming it’s “in the bag”

Just when you relax and let your guard down, convinced that the battle has been won, your date with a Japanese girl can turn on a dime. A kiss isn’t an implicit agreement for anything more. Don’t stop leading, and keep your eyes on the road.

“Often, foreign guys just can’t read the atmosphere.” – Hitomi, 25

7. Moving too fast

Shared intentions or none, bulldozing ahead with physical intimacy can be the equivalent of shifting from first to fourth. Kissing, making out, and sex should not be big jarring steps you spring on someone, but rather points on a smoothly ascending curve.

“Because Japanese girls are quiet and not so assertive, foreigners can be domineering and persistent.” – Kaede, 22

8. Moving too slow

In lieu of clear signals from a Japanese girl, many guys find themselves caught in “limbo”. Waiting for a signal that means something to you is moving too slow. Make a decision as to what you want, and take the lead in that direction. She’s not going to lead for you.

 “It can be frustrating when foreigners are vague and indecisive.” – Manami, 21

9. Relying solely on the gaijin novelty factor

“Foreign guys don’t have to try” is the myth carved on the gravestone of so many Japanese girl-foreign guy interactions. To a Japanese girl, your foreign-ness may represent some tasty icing, but be sure there’s a decent cake underneath.

“Foreigners come to Japan and make the mistake of assuming they’re really fashionable and popular” – Sachiko, 24

“They try and force their own culture on everyone else” – Megumi, 25

10. Trying to drive a wedge through the wa (和)

Wa (和) means harmony, and when it comes to groups of Japanese the importance of the concept is often underestimated. You may have found that spark with a Japanese girl – but the wa still has to be upheld. Trying to pry her away from her friends for some one-on-one time may kill your spark dead, unless you can carry this off in a natural way that maintains the flow of the wa.

“They have a tendency to focus on themselves and what they want, rather than the needs of the group.” – Naomi, 22

Fortunately, recent trends seems to indicate even the uncouth barbarian male could hardly be in any worse position than his Japanese counterparts – those looking to try can find out more in the guide proper.

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    Comment by Anonymous
    20:57 28/06/2013 # ! Good (+0.8)

    Moving too fast? No.
    Moving too slow? No.

    Make up your mind, girl!

    Comment by Anonymous
    23:37 28/06/2013 # ! Good (+0.7)

    Three's no such thing as 'moving too fast', one knows if they're willing to fuck someone in the first 5 minutes. Everything else is just bullshit.

    Avatar of Jigoku 9akushi
    Comment by Jigoku 9akushi
    10:01 29/06/2013 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    Are you a SLUT?????

    Comment by Anonymous
    05:30 04/07/2013 # ! Neutral (0)

    Hehe, basically all's the same, vagueness from them, and vice-versa, well...

    Comment by Anonymous
    05:32 04/07/2013 # ! Neutral (0)

    It's True, if you're looking to FUCK, you will know within a short period of time if she's down. If you're looking for long term...I dunno i haven't been able to keep only one for longer than 2years lol....

    Comment by Anonymous
    04:47 29/06/2013 # ! Neutral (0)

    more to a relationship than that, if you think that is the case. You wont get very far.

    Comment by Anonymous
    10:10 29/06/2013 # ! Neutral (0)

    lol says the virgin

    Avatar of Roy
    Comment by Roy
    11:35 29/06/2013 # ! Neutral (0)


    If she wants me to make a move .. I will tease!

    If she tries to make a move, I will be cool.

    If she is hot and wants it!

    I will make her beg.

    When there is mutual attraction ... Look Out..


    Comment by Anonymous
    03:59 01/07/2013 # ! Neutral (0)

    No offense, but THIS is precisely why men have trouble when interacting with girls. I mean... come on, is it really THAT hard to understand...? Look, let us exemplify it with a concept any men can easily understand.

    A car. Imagine a car moving. As you may or may not know, if a car moves "too fast", you will spend extra fuel (at least when over ~80 MpH). Then, if you move "too slow", you ALSO spend extra fuel due to forcing the car to move its own weight with so little energy, so it has to spend more fuel. So, both moving too fast and too slow have a common negative consequence...

    Well, in that regard, many things in life work the exact same way. Like I have heard often, "no excess is good, ever", be it a literal excess or an excess of LACKING something.

    THAT... is what these girls were trying to say, and if many men really have trouble understanding that... then of course they go for "2D", then make comments like the ones upvoted here and feel like they made the right choice, when everbody knows deep inside that such attitude is just a self-assuring consolation, even if often implied just as a joke.

    AND before you commit the fallacy of discarding everything I said because "lol she's a girl pissed off cuz 2d takes chances away from her": no, I am a man who just happens to SOMETIMES (not many, granted) understand what girls try to say. Get real: not many girls visit this website. And what I quoted above is also a myth, by the way: "2D" is a BIG problem for girls to get men in Japan and Japan alone, and even there it is a problem mostly for girls with nothing to offer, so... hm.

    Comment by Anonymous
    04:01 09/11/2013 # ! Neutral (0)

    I think you mean girls interacting men, due to the men actually doing the action of trying to do something. As japan is in trouble more and more measures will be taken to encourage Japanese female to mate with Japanese males. (Here what could happen in my opinion) However if the Japanese female doesn't correct her line of thought, when the population gets below a certain point Males will reclaim the mantle but not in a good way. The government might even consider legalizing rape as a means to prevent the extinction of the Japanese people, of coarse that would lead females to suicide before babies are born, so the next step would be to completely remove women rights in the country and treat them like sex slaves, to cage them hook them up to machines and allow men to have they're way with them until babies come out and repeat the process till to problem has been corrected. The other option is the culture to become extinct and the country completely absorbed by another country... maybe china or the usa.

    Avatar of Chen-04
    Comment by Chen-04
    19:35 06/01/2014 # ! Neutral (0)

    Way easier, there just need to be social benefits in having children as opposed to having benefits for not having children.

    Y'know what.. fuck that social up there and make it monetary benefits. Because that's all that really matters. People that don't earn enough to sustain a family can't have a family. And as it looks that's basically every young Japanese.

    Comment by Anonymous
    22:39 28/06/2013 # ! Neutral (0)

    hurdur what is 'middle ground'?????

    Comment by Anonymous
    01:40 29/06/2013 # ! Neutral (0)

    expert suggested " its a monster"

    Comment by Anonymous
    06:36 29/06/2013 # ! Neutral (0)

    What actual dating advice from Sankaku

    Comment by Anonymous
    18:00 28/06/2013 # ! Good (+0.7)

    I understand now why Japanese men prefer JK's and 2D

    Comment by Anonymous
    21:24 28/06/2013 # ! Quality (+1.0)

    Dinged for trying to be too Japanese vs dinged for being too gaijin. Sheesh....

    Dinged for moving too fast vs dinged for moving too slow.

    I think I see why so many Japanese men go the 2D route.

    Comment by Anonymous
    21:27 28/06/2013 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    I won't ever complain about non-japanese women or my girlfriend again. At least they have some standards and brain.

    Comment by Anonymous

    lol your disgusting hambeast is just as dumb, you're just too stupid to realize it.

    Comment by Anonymous

    LOL sup half-breed bitch? Running away to japan because you couldn't cut it here in the states?

    Hate what makes you feel insecure. Good policy/

    Avatar of PirateKing
    Comment by PirateKing

    You can keep those disgusting mindless beasts.

    Comment by Anonymous
    00:12 30/06/2013 # ! Neutral (0)

    That's only because you missed the entire point of the article. You have to find a happy medium when it comes to relationships. People like you don't even want to try to make that sort of effort.

    Comment by Anonymous
    09:11 01/07/2013 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    In other words, this guide is useless.

    Everyone needs to find a medium, there is always balance at play. No Shit-

    Comment by Anonymous
    19:20 30/06/2013 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    The only problem with this is that at least as far as this article is concerned, the women seem to contribute zero to the relationship or the progression of it. Maybe it's a cultural difference, and personally I'm not someone that thinks that a Japanese woman is the pinnacle of women, kinda hard to get across what I mean by that, but if a woman is Japanese or not makes no difference to me I suppose? I expect there to be an actual relationship when in one, not completely reliant on me, considering there's two people. The article makes it seem like they're scared to voice their opinion or some shit. Moving to fast? (As long as it isn't creepy or some shit) They can easily say "Hey, think we can slow it down a bit?" Moving to slow? "Let's fuck". You get my drift.

    Avatar of Lavi
    Comment by Lavi
    02:36 02/07/2013 # ! Neutral (0)

    Love should be unconditional, but those japaneses girls dont get that ;)

    Comment by Anonymous
    10:08 01/07/2013 # ! Neutral (0)

    no shit sherlock. i read that comment often. and i know this one anime with the brown doll and the nail in it. i had the impression its a reference to voodoo. is that what you mean with shit? sorry for the stupid question.

    Avatar of Neonie
    Comment by Neonie
    19:34 28/06/2013 # ! Good (+0.7)

    So essentially, this can be read as: "Japanese women have no fucking idea what they want, ever."

    Comment by Anonymous
    06:54 29/06/2013 # ! Good (+0.8)

    Let me check if I got it right:
    -Guys should behave at girls' pace (7,8)
    -Guys should not not behave like japanese (4), but act acording to japanese customs (5,10), as they will not be given any consideration for being foreign (9)
    -Guys should be the only active part (2,3,6), but letting the girls decide when things are done (1,5,10)

    Ok... so after learning japanese, their customs, behaving in accordance to whatever-they-want, devoting yourself to the girl but letting her space, you may still be dumped in favor of some non-gaijin who will treat them the classical japanese way?

    Not worth it.

    Avatar of yuriphoria
    Comment by yuriphoria
    07:17 29/06/2013 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    Please someone post this to 2ch.

    Comment by Anonymous
    11:08 30/06/2013 # ! Neutral (0)

    Sounds too Visual Novel for me.

    Comment by Anonymous
    20:20 28/06/2013 # ! Good (+0.6)

    Take out the word "Japanese" and you'll be 100% correct.

    Comment by Anonymous
    18:45 29/06/2013 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    He is still 100% correct. What applies to all members of a set also applies to all members of a subset.

    Comment by Anonymous
    01:59 29/06/2013 # ! Neutral (0)

    *nod *nod

    Comment by Anonymous

    Don't know much about women, do ya, virgin?

    Comment by Anonymous
    00:27 29/06/2013 # ! Neutral (+0.4)

    Unless you have a fat wallet or they want whatever they want depending on their moods... which changes every month....

    Comment by Anonymous
    04:49 29/06/2013 # ! Neutral (0)

    Its simply, be assertive, straightforward and real. For example, you walk into a bar. Your eyes meet with another women. Dont spend 10 mins going around. Just head over to them.

    Comment by Anonymous
    19:25 08/07/2013 # ! Neutral (0)

    seems like the only winning move is not to play.

    Comment by Anonymous
    02:54 04/07/2013 # ! Neutral (0)

    Why? Some of the points are legitimate. Having sex in the West might be a very casual thing, but in Asia, parents always feel that pre-marriage sexual contact destroys a girl's life. There is no right or wrong, but we should at least understand that some of the "openness" demonstrated by Westerners are not welcomed in parts of Asia.

    Comment by Anonymous
    14:56 30/06/2013 # ! Neutral (0)

    seconded,but italian gurls are like that as well

    Comment by Anonymous
    Comment by Anonymous
    21:12 28/06/2013 # ! Neutral (0)

    And also lolis

    Comment by Anonymous
    20:45 28/06/2013 # ! Neutral (0)

    Funny how that japanese girl in the picture has the same expression of a jap girl in many pictures who is getting forcibly tied down and raped. Blushing, frustratingly impotent, etc.

    Also, the 'boy'friend's expression is that of an NTR victim.

    Avatar of Dia
    Comment by Dia
    22:35 28/06/2013 # ! Neutral (0)

    You're right about the BF but wrong about the girl. She's obviously just furious.

    Comment by Anonymous
    05:16 29/06/2013 # ! Neutral (0)

    Whatever little bit of resistance is fucking futile in her position/

    21:55 28/06/2013 # ! Neutral (0)

    One guy looks like a little like the Fonz and the boyfriend looks like a little bitch who hover hands a girl so yes he will be an NTR victim.

    Avatar of theranthrope
    Comment by theranthrope
    12:53 29/06/2013 # ! Neutral (0)

    What do you have against Dutch public-service broadcasting anyway?

    Comment by Anonymous

    naturally the spineless japanese male just sits there, doing nothing. and later he'll be on 2ch, ranting on how japan needs to cleanse itself of the disease known as gaijin. typical passive-aggressive japanese behavior.

    Comment by Anonymous
    00:15 29/06/2013 # ! Neutral (0)

    and no.. i am not japanese.

    Comment by Anonymous
    05:09 29/06/2013 # ! Neutral (0)

    Reminds me of Minoru's dissecting of the original and current usage of the word 'tsundere'. Way to go.

    Comment by Anonymous

    if you talk another time about my spine werd ich dich für schmerzensgeld anzeigen.

    Comment by Anonymous
    20:11 28/06/2013 # ! Neutral (0)

    “Japanese men don’t usually think about anything … only food, games, TV, or work. It’s nice to experience something different, and foreign guys can be much more mature.” – Mitsuki, 24


    Japanese kids are pretty immature and short on mental age.

    Comment by Anonymous

    "10. Trying to drive a wedge through the wa (和)"

    typical jap hypocrisy. Always 'culture' this and that when they opened their legs for western and other foreign influences for their entire history. What makes them think 'harmony' is only on their terms? Respect and harmony is a two-way street. You better be willing to see things non-japanese before asking for yours to be listened to.

    jap mentality = bitch mentality

    Comment by Anonymous
    22:47 30/06/2013 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    You have a point, and those who never lived in Japan don't see it. But you're a little bit racist. I can understand why you have been disappointed before.

    Japanese people really don't understand two-way streets. You know why? BECAUSE THEIR ROADS ARE SO FUCKING NARROW!

    Joking. But I digress. They only believe on things "on their terms" -- cultures, peace, harmony "on [Japanese] terms." Their culture is built around their terms: they have not EVER had to come into contact with other cultures (unless they got pwnt by them or tried to do the pwning), and these old ideals die hard (AND OLD JAPANESE PEOPLE DIE VERY OLD). They can't understand how there are good people in the world who are peaceful and cultured, and NOT be Japanese.

    It's a country of double-standards. No one truly likes these standards. But they go along with it anyway. Because that's what everyone has done for since the dawn of Japan.

    Comment by Anonymous
    00:12 01/07/2013 # ! Neutral (0)

    the last time i have seen this landsman was years ago. but i guess his language is not BETTER ^^

    Comment by Anonymous
    23:49 30/06/2013 # ! Neutral (0)

    "They can't understand how there are good people in the world who are peaceful and cultured, and NOT be Japanese. "

    i think i know there is a little thing called..... how should i express it:
    i express it in a gaming way:
    "the chinese Fighter Tanks teaches "peaceful cultured and....." and the japanese teaches anime! but i have not seen a chinese fighter teacher who said a word about shinto. and.... i do think a "true chinese landsman which has not yet completely learned the language from the foreign country he is in" actually does know shinto.

    21:51 28/06/2013 # ! Neutral (0)

    When dealing with wa you don't use a wedge you need to use a drill.

    Comment by Anonymous
    10:32 01/07/2013 # ! Neutral (0)

    Commissar Yarrick would love to join!

    Comment by Anonymous
    22:05 28/06/2013 # ! Neutral (0)

    I use Space Marine Land Raiders to deal with the Wa(aaaagh!). :D

    Comment by Anonymous

    lol I don't know what that bitch is talking about. What little culture Japan had left died out with the Shouwa Era. At which point the 'yamato nadeshiko' officially died off and were replaced with 'gals', who take money for sex with old men.

    Face it, Perry set the spike and future generations of Japanese drove it in place. From steam trains to rifles to building designs to western clothing, Japan has no 'culture' left. And no, a two day trip to Kyoto does not count as 'culture'.

    Comment by Anonymous
    04:42 29/06/2013 # ! Neutral (0)

    top lel

    downvoting butthurts now in full effect

    Comment by Anonymous

    “There are many jokes foreign guys make which are hard to understand” – Yuko, 18

    No one is responsible for your lack of ability to understand humor. Another example of making no effort but expecting respect. No one respects submissive and incapable individuals.

    Comment by Anonymous
    23:19 28/06/2013 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    Females can't understand humor period. Using jokes to impress them is a waste of time & energy. You're better off by buying them a drink and fucking their drunken minds senseless.

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