Human Torch Forgets Matches
- Categories: International, News
- Date: Apr 15, 2009 08:35 JST
- Tags: Bizarre, Crime, Fail, Relationships, Suicide, Taipei, Taiwan
A jilted woman who sought to end her life by dousing herself in petrol and immolating herself publicly was foiled when she neglected to bring a lighter.
She was surprised to find nobody would do her the favor of lending her a lighter, instead calling police to restrain her.
The woman, who had been recently fallen out with her boyfriend, went to the front of Taipei’s World Trade Center building in order to set herself on fire, and thus publicly commit suicide.
After liberally pouring petrol over herself, the woman searched her handbag only to discover that she had forgotten to bring either matches or a lighter, meaning her self-immolation was temporarily scotched.
Undeterred in her pursuit of a dramatic end, the woman, presumably still wet and reeking of gasoline, entered the parking lot of the trade center to ask the guard for a lighter.
The guard, who could not help but be immediately suspicious of the woman’s intentions, called the police instead.
After confessing to the police that she had become distraught when her boyfriend dumped her, the police allowed the troubled woman to leave with her family.
Via Ibn Live.
She might have had better luck with Japanese police…
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"She was surprised to find nobody would do her the favor of lending her a lighter, instead calling police to restrain her."
Harsh world.
indeed --
no one wants to help her -- BURN HERSELF >.>
wouldn't that make you an accomplice if you lend her one?
I'd hand her a vibrator.
At least that will let her forget her worries, until the batteries run out.
Better buy one that isn't MADE IN CHINA
or until it short-cicuit...
Its not that people didn't want to see her burn alive, its that they didn't want to be raped by authorities.
Or maybe it's just me.
Well, friction generations heat. And enough heat can start a fire. I guess I will just have to rub myself against her body fast and long enough to "fire her up". Now where can I find any ladies who wants to immolate herself?
Delicious cake for Artefact for the title. Astonishing!
The Full Monty comes to mind.
"People are pricks. I asked this guy to take his air compressor and drill me with a six-inch nail right through the eye..."
"What'd he say?"
"I'm low on nails."
"People are selfish pricks."
Burning to death is pretty painful. I'm sure there was a much more convenient way of committing suicide.
but other ways is not grand and not attracting other people...
I honestly expected some firebat SC jokes. lo and behold...none.
Fire it up! Is somethin burning? guess not...
Double stupidity.
She should have asked the police instead.. it would have been successful..
She could've tried harder. Banging rocks together for a spark or rubbing two sticks together are other methods of creating fire. Some people just don't want to put forth the extra effort.
Well, it looks like Kev here is the only intelligent person to post something accurate and not random bullshit.
what a dumbass, death by fire, huh. she would regret it the second she lit the flame...
cool pic..poor girl..if shes cute..ill be her next bf ;D and taiwan is taiwan..own government..yes its under china now,coverly and namely only..bt still own government and political and economicaly like hong kong..usa is us nothing else..engalnd is england..so wat the hell is usa is under britain colony..yes its true..bt its long time ago!now its totally diff,seperated..history must combined with geography..than its ok..if theres a mistake with my statement please reply it properly..if ur an educated person :)
Epic fail indeed
loool.
She needs Yamamoto's zanpaktou -> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gXbyR0mTuGQ
She should learn how to make fire using rocks
Burn baby burn! Disco inferno!
Need a light? Lets Burnnn..
"I believe, that what doesn't kill you, simply makes you.... stranger... " >:)
Wanna turn up the heat?
What kind of world do we live in were no one will lend a simple lighter to someone, god, it sickens me >__>
Oh a more positive note, I read this entire article while listening to the Kugimiya canyon, and couldnt help but laughing my ass of at almost every 3rd word XD
true.
Doing it right now.
Now I find the Article to be damn cute.
This is the guard of the building. I want to apologize for not helping that lady out but i was suspicious of her intentions. I thought she would try to put the building in fire. If she had explained her intentions to me sooner i would have gladly help her out.
where mah bitches?
hahaha this is so lol.. spare a light anyone?? xD
Love come and goes ,you live once not worth taking life.Poor fool.
she believe she will reborn in next life...
bitch can't do nothing right
no...
bitch can burn their self and everything around her and put blame on you...
I would have helped her out. Poor dear, is no one courteous anymore?
and gotten the splash damage? Think of the chain nuclear reaction, man!
I'd pass it to her. And don't say man, lol. Ichiou, onna no ko nan desu kara~ ^^;
Women's handbags are always in such a mess that they can never find anything they need at the moment, be it car keys or matches...
"anyone got a Light?"
damn it not the light i was looking for...
"Female Human Torch" FLAME ON!
she should ask the guard cigarette first then a lighter second...
she also should be charge try to burning World Trade Center building to other than try to commit suicide...
Attention whore
Pretty much.
says someone who's never had a girlfriend, much less a heartbreak before..
Stereotype much lately?
No need to take your frustrations out on otaku, I'm sure I'm not the only one who would have happily provided you with a lighter, were we the focus of this article.
The way you say it you make it sound like crap.
Well the JP police have mysterious ways. She might not have gone ablaze despite given a lighter.
taipei is in taiwan
I was referring to the last line in the article.
Actually Taiwan insists that it is the Republic of China. <--- which is different from the People's Republic of China, which is commonly known as China.
The Republic of China is commonly known of Taiwan.
Please.
For you, maybe we should start off with something easier. Such as the difference between South and North America?
>> China is different from Taiwan
>> learn2geography
Actually Taiwan insists that it is the Republic of China. So instead of telling others what to learn, google it to avoid embarrassing yourself.
Taiwan is a province of China. Therefore it is China.
Also, cool trolling bros.
TAiwan it is.
China is different from Taiwan
learn2geography
and this kids is why people are getting dumber by the minute, please don't support amerikkkan education system, because its only education by name
umm... no... taiwan....
Comment by other:
"Taiwan is a province of china in the same way that the USA is a colony of Britain."
Wrong comparison, more like: Taiwan is a province of China in the same way that Tibet is a province of China.
ROFL Where did you get that information from? You gotta stop making stuff up, or get better sources bro. "Sigh" I guess i am going to have to re-educate you all.
1. "China is different from Taiwan" - Well no shit Sherlock, China is a country and Taiwan is a province. Could you be any more vague and retarded with your arguments?
2. "Taiwan insists that it is the Republic of China" - Yes, just like how I insist I am Barack Obama. Just because they "insist independence" still does not make them actually independent from China.
3. "They are two separate countries (at least according to every country other than the People’s Republic of China.)" - Well your labeled as a fucking moron according to all the people I've shown your post to. "According to every country" - Wtf is that supposed to mean? So your saying Taiwan is a separate country because all the other countries think so?
4. "Taiwan is a province of china in the same way that the USA is a colony of Britain." - You sir, need to stop contradicting yourself and get your facts straight before you make yourself look even more like a retard.
" Comment by Anonymous
2009-04-15 16:06:00 Report
Taiwan is a province of China. Therefore it is China.
Also, cool trolling bros."
Taiwan is a province of china in the same way that the USA is a colony of Britain.
Well, looks like Kev is the only person intelligent enough to post something accurate. Not like all the bs everyone else posts.
Taiwan is not a province of present-day china. The main political party KMT which form the first governing government of taiwan is the original ruling party of mainland china but they are driven out by the communist not in a election but in a bitter civil war in which communist gain control of mainland china. Since KMT was not destroyed, they retreated to taiwan. In fact the 2 countries are still technically at war pretty much like North and South korea but in the past 2 decades or so, taiwan basically just shut its mouth up due to the enormous military might that china had build up since the 70s. And China leave taiwan alone as its not worth the effort to wage war on taiwan and destroy its economy and status as 1 of the superpower on the world political map.
" Comment by IHATERETARDS
2009-04-16 07:16:15 Report
ROFL so many fuckin retards on here. I will say it for the last time. TAIWAN IS A PROVINCE OF CHINA. JUST LIKE HOW ONTARIO IS A PROVINCE OF CANADA, AND CALIFORNIA IS A STATE Of U.S.A."
its a shame that you hate your self
it doesn't matter what taiwan is recognized as by other governments, it and china are separate countries with separate governments.
And being an anarchist i hate both of them.
ROFL so many fuckin retards on here. I will say it for the last time. TAIWAN IS A PROVINCE OF CHINA. JUST LIKE HOW ONTARIO IS A PROVINCE OF CANADA, AND CALIFORNIA IS A STATE Of U.S.A.
^ since everyone that replied are retarded, I'll sort this out:
Taiwan is officially recognized as a part of China, much to their dismay. Yes Taiwan used to be recognized as a nation on its own before, but when China opened up and provided a huge market, everyone just decided to go with what they say, and that's the truth.
No, it is not. They are two separate countries (at least according to every country other than the People's Republic of China.)
"taipei is in taiwan"
you mean china, amirite
soz~
If she were a smoker, then this would have never happened. I mean any self-respecting smoker would always have a light with him/her right?
So true... I normally carry a zippo, a butane lighter AND matches.
Well, good to see this one had a happy (or at least not-fatal) ending.
And a punchline.
Forgot the essentials huh...
Seriously, deep down she probably wanted to be stopped.
What a terrible world we live in where nobody is willing to lend even a simple lighter...
No StarCraft jokes, huh.
Rather glad this didn't end up with someone going up (or down) in flames.
Personally, I thought about Shakugan no Shana first.
Stupid people are stupid... Seriously XD;
bet she didnt think of how much it will hurt...
Probably not/ Most people that commit suicide like this don't.
Getting better guys, but only the city is mentioned in the first half off the story, no country. Keep working at it.
First paragraph is ideal, read a few newspapers and see how they report international stories.
As if anyone would take any notice of a half-literate anon in deciding how to write a story.
I don't understand suicide.
If I kill myself, how will I ever read sankaku complex again?
because they believe they can be reborn again in next life for a better life or going to heaven... what is guaranty you to get better life or going to heaven if you commit suicide... what if you are going to hell rather than heaven??
suicide people are phailed!!
agree we need to spread the word of Sankaku to drop the world's suicide rate.
i no, save the world by spreading porn and anime!!!
This is what happens when Nyoron Churuya-san can't take it no more.
- Kyon-kun, Kyon-kun! Do you have any light?
- Da-me
- Nyoro~n