
Pokemon has gotten possibly its most bizarre fan-game yet, in the form of “Ojimon”, a smartphone title that depicts several of the franchise’s familiar critters with the face of a tired old man, certainly making for a unique experience despite many wondering what the intended demographic for the game was meant to be.
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Hailing from Okinawa, “KBG84” are the latest eager performers to slowly arrive onto the idol scene, consisting entirely of elderly participants over the age of 80 – and bound to be a fierce rival for the industry-leading AKB48.
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Japan’s choice of a former PM to head the Tokyo Olympic committee has already borne fruit, after he called English an “enemy language” at the Winter Olympics.
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The latest outrage against the nation’s schoolgirls comes in the form of schoolgirl cyclist who almost hit an old man in the dark, only for him to commit verbal battery on her by insisting she put on her lights, with Osaka police issuing one of their famous advisories in an effort the bring the felon to justice.
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A schoolgirl BDSM queen has turned her elderly slave over to police after he kept pestering her to dominate him more.
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Otaku are once again pondering statistics showing that of over 130,000 Japanese questioned, some 40% consider themselves “otaku,” with an even higher proportion – 62% – of teenagers saying the same.
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Tokyo’s 80-year-old former mayor Shintaro Ishihara has yet again courted controversy by remarking that “the Japanese are the only coloured race to make a modern nation” – by extension implying that China, Korea, Taiwan, Singapore and the rest are all pre-modern primitives.
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Colin Powell has warned the youth of Japan they need more “muscle” and to stop reading manga lest they all turn into a nation of sissy little “herbivores” unable to pay off their national debt.
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A man and his girlfriend have been arrested for inviting several schoolboys they met on the street to watch them have sex in public, with the young woman saying “I gave them some sexual education” and going so far as to let them touch and feel her.
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Tokyo’s 80-year-old dear leader Shintaro Ishihara has announced he intends to resign and form his own national party – though no sooner had he announced his ambitions than he began calling for the degenerate youth of Japan to be herded into military camps.
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Shibuya has been trumpeting its success in driving out adherents of the various youth subcultures it largely spawned, with herds of gyaru, ganguro, yamanba and other undesirables now a rarity on its fair streets.
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Police are looking for a female flasher who cruelly exposed herself to an innocent schoolboy, who may well now be scarred for life.
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