
Police were recently forced to conduct an emergency arrest of a boy for the grievous crime of damaging a school cafeteria menu, after teachers concluded his behaviour was so outrageous they could not possibly be expected to handle him.
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The man who attempted to bag a 12-year-old girl and make off with her in a taxi has been denounced by the media as a creepy lolicon Precure otaku, with psychologists immediately blaming anime and manga and the media calling for yet more anime censorship.
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China’s latest ploy to ensure universal acceptance of its ancient and inalienable claim to the Senkaku isles has been to take out an ad in the New York Times asking Americans how they would react to Japan inexplicably claiming Hawaii – although some have pointed out comparisons of Japan claiming Hawaii to China claiming parts of Okinawa may be rather more appropriate than intended.
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South Korea’s president has caused a scandal by demanding “the Japanese king” grovel before the Korean people in apology should he wish to set foot on that peninsula’s sacred soil.
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For the first time since records began, fewer Japanese schoolgirls are having sex, with statistics showing a precipitous drop in the rates of sexual activity amongst the nation’s young people of both genders – delighting creepy middle-aged virgin hunters but surely inducing despair amongst the nation’s sex-starved schoolboys.
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- Author: Artefact
- Categories: Japan, News
- Date: Aug 4, 2012 04:31 JST
- Tags: Bizarre, Copyright, Events, Food, London, Marketing, Mass Media, Sushi, UK

Japanese are aghast to learn that the 2012 Olympics has banned sushi sellers from providing soy sauce as there are no makers sponsoring the event, making the dish practically inedible to Japanese and further drawing attention to the increasingly farcical nature of the event.
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The scandal surrounding the 13-year-old Shiga prefecture schoolboy who was only able to end his bullying by leaping from his apartment block continues to deepen, with teachers apparently still of the opinion that bullying had nothing to do with his death and that they are being unfairly scapegoated for not doing anything at all to help him.
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Chinese have been outraged by the case of a man who was left to drown by the family he saved, with the rescued boy’s mother saying his fate was nothing to do with them.
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The birth and death of a baby panda in Japan has jumped from being a media circus to a minor diplomatic crisis after Ishihara began tying them to the Senkaku Islands and Chinese began insisting the Japanese must have killed it to get back at them.
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The sheer directness of the approach Chinese police have taken to shaming their creepy toilet peepers has been winning some admirers overseas.
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Police have arrested an elderly man for the heinous crime of picking 7 cherries from a tree, charging him with theft in a crime so shocking it was reported in Japan’s major newspapers and on TV.
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The Chinese media has been utterly humiliated after reporting the discovery of a mysterious mushroom, only have it pointed out to them that it was actually a discarded artificial vagina.
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