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Onanism Eggs: Tenga Egg “How To” Video

Onanism Eggs: Tenga Egg

In a previous article regarding the latest product from Tenga (a purveyor of what are basically artificial vaginas), there was some confusion regarding how exactly the lucky owner of the “Tenga Egg” would use the product in order to reach onanistic bliss.

There has since been released what purports to be a ‘How To” video, which should serve to educate potential buyers on the proper use of the stylishly decorated eggs. Whether or not the video fulfills its purpose is perhaps not so clear…

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  • Anonymous commented on May 30, 2010 02:19

    Or would provide minutes of entertainment when coupled with squeezing your balls for stress-relief. =D... More

  • Anonymous commented on May 23, 2010 12:42

    THAT'S WHAT SHE S- *shot*... More

57 Comments »

Leopard Skin Pantsu Loli Maid Fondled

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The gentleman pictured appears to be enjoying the intimate company of a maid, who seems to have ended up with some standard issue (to those of negotiable affection) leopard skin pantsu.

For once there seems to be no doubt over whether this is a doll or Photoshop or not…

  • Anonymous commented on December 15, 2011 02:11

    Always looking for anti-drugs, anti-weight, and anti-STDs. I hate how some people find this as weird. They are nothing more than toys that provides experiences better than using your hand. Better than having a picture... More

  • Anonymous commented on January 20, 2010 20:26

    阿什顿阿达啊说的鞍山打算的... More

17 Comments »

Tsun-Ero! Kagami Dutch Wife “Flog Pillow”

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Fans of Lucky Star have been blessed with the chance to purchase this dutch wife facsimile of beloved tsundere icon Kagami Hiiragi for the past few months. It may not be as new as some other recently announced onanist merchandise, but it is certainly worthy of a closer look…

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  • Anonymous commented on November 13, 2013 06:31

    This thing is a disgrace to Lucky Star and Kagami's name... not because it involves sexual acts, but because of how god damn ugly it is... not to mention who would want their girlfriend to... More

  • Anonymous commented on April 1, 2010 20:52

    wow what the fuck... More

28 Comments »

ToraAna! Aisaka Taiga Dutch Wife

ToraAna! Aisaka Taiga Dutch Wife

Onanist fans of Toradora will surely rejoice at the news that a (strictly unauthorised) doujin Dutch wife, designed to simulate “Tiger’s Pussy”, that is to say Aisaka Taiga, will be released at the 75th Comiket.

The palmtop ona-hole will be titled とらアナ! / ToraAna! (“ana” means hole, in case you were wondering), and is produced by an avowed Dutch wife enthusiast, so its quality looks set to be high.

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  • Anonymous commented on December 6, 2009 04:20

    I wanna see how the thing looks like inflated... More

  • Anonymous commented on December 29, 2008 03:26

    I like how it is in Japan. You only get sued if you cross the line (as there have been a few cases where doujinshi artists were sued). Most of the time, no actions are... More

24 Comments »

SOM: Eroge Dutch Wife Interface, Works with Cross Days

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Devoted onanists are greeting the latest innovation in Dutch wife technology with glee; the device, dubbed SOM, promises computer controlled mechanical stimulation synchronised with the events of eroge via a USB interface.

The first game to support it is none other than esteemed bug developer Overflow’s latest QC crisis: Cross Days.

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  • ShiraYuki619 commented on April 25, 2010 03:08

    should i by one?... More

  • Anonymous commented on March 18, 2010 22:09

    How many widths does the lady one come with? :D... More

55 Comments »

Onanism Eggs: Tenga Egg

Onanism Eggs: Tenga Egg

“Male hygiene” product (Dutch wife/artificial vagina) manufacturer Tenga has unveiled its latest attempt to stop people recoiling in horror at the thought of having sex with a can (or “New Adult Concept” as they discretely put it): the Tenga Egg.

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  • Anonymous commented on April 24, 2009 13:50

    thats fukn hilarius thx 4 the laf lmao no sarcasm... More

  • lostjounin commented on December 19, 2008 15:33

    Hahaha, from your head down to your leeeeegsss...... More

29 Comments »

To Love-Ru Lala Dutch Wife On Sale

To Love-Ru Lala Dutch Wife On Sale

A To Love-Ru “UFO” themed dutch wife, visible below, has caught the eyes of onanist fans of the series.

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  • Sevodax commented on July 29, 2009 18:10

    If only I would be a girl...puff... More

  • Anonymous commented on December 12, 2008 09:36

    Is it possible to ship this item to Europe and if yes, plz help.... More

6 Comments »

Dutch Harem

Dutch Harem

Quite the harem. I couldn’t help but notice that the more human looking wives have cushions and mattresses, whilst the horrific ones have to make do with bare bars.

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  • Anonymous commented on April 3, 2014 19:36

    WOULD AIRCONBANG... More

  • Anonymous commented on March 8, 2010 20:33

    atleast they have aircon... More

14 Comments »

As Man & (Dutch) Wife

Police launched a major murder investigation after a corpse was sighted in the mountains, sending 15 police to the scene and mobilising a crack team of 30 investigators. The corpse turned out to be a forlorn Dutch wife (love doll), dumped in the mountains after outliving its usefulness.

We heard before of the female corpse which sparked a major manhunt only to turn out to be a highly realistic sex doll; the man (60) responsible for its careless disposal has been apprehended, and it appears he took the Dutch wife as literal wife, living together with “her” for many years after his wife passed away.

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  • LanceRayne commented on October 18, 2009 22:32

    is it illegal f-dumping? fumping?? hrm need more time to think... More

  • Anonymous commented on June 26, 2009 22:48

    prosecute a guy who dumped a love doll because he was so attached to it that he couldn't break it or burn it? funny :D... More

5 Comments »

Dutch Wife Sparks Murder Manhunt

Dutch Wife Sparks Murder Manhunt

Police launched a major murder investigation after a corpse was sighted in the mountains, sending 15 police to the scene and mobilising a crack team of 30 investigators. The corpse turned out to be a forlorn Dutch wife (love doll), dumped in the mountains after outliving its usefulness.

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  • Anonymous commented on July 17, 2012 08:58

    MY WIFE~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~... More

  • Robocop commented on December 7, 2009 20:11

    my ex wanted to buy one so we could have a 3way with it... needless to say she was a very fucked up individual which is why she is now my ex...... More

31 Comments »

Japanese Tenga Onanist World Champions

Japanese Onanist Tenga World Champions

Two Japanese men have delivered an apparently record breaking self stimulatory performance in San Francisco, in a carefully orchestrated piece of marketing for Tenga. Emblazoned proudly with the Tenga maxim “New Adult Concept”, on red jumpsuits, the intrepid duo of Norihiro Taneichi and Masanobu Sato displayed considerable endurance; Taneichi managed to perform for 8h 40m, although we are not told just how many times they achieved completion (a suspicious omission if ever there was one).

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  • Anonymous commented on July 19, 2011 00:49

    OMG WTF THIS WORLD IS FOOMED! Second coming will not come.... More

  • Anonymous commented on August 24, 2010 16:01

    I would never do this because frankly, shit gets raw.... More

16 Comments »

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