This is the kind of stuff I think of when I'm brushing my teeth and the like.
I'd like to actually make some of these (just the text with a picture of the character to the side), but all of them is of course out of the question. If you have any suggestions for the ones I'm missing, feel free to contribute.
 ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄
Reimu
-You stole my heart. Now give it back, I’m poor enough as it is.
Marisa
-Love, Master Spark, etc. The joke writes itself, ze.
Rumia
-You light up my life.
Cirno
-Eye’m the cutest!
Meiling
-I’d love to have someone to talk to while I guard the mansion.
Sakuya
-Even if I were to stop time, it still would not be long enough to spend with you.
Flandre
-I’ve never celebrated Valentine’s Day before! Is this the part where I get to snap your spine?
Alice
-I’M SO LONELY.
Prismriver sisters
-We’ll make beautiful music together I’m sorry I wrote this
Youmu
-Go out with me.
Yukari
-I hope age won’t a problem for you.
Suika
-When I’m with you, every minute feels like a party!
Keine
-This coupon is good for one (1) free caving while supplies last
Tewi
-I’d feel lucky if you chose me!
Reisen
-I’m crazy about you wow I’ve got to stop these
Eirin
-If your heart is ever broken, I’ll be here to fix you up. Possible side effects include drowsiness, blurred vision, vomiting, aneurysms, and/or death.
Kaguya
-Please go out with me. You just have to pass a few simple tasks.
Yuuka
-Aw, you got me flowers? That’s so sweet, I’ll put you on my “last-to-kill” list.
Komachi
-Same as China, just replace “mansion” with “river”. What, I’m lazy.
Shikeiki
-You’re the one, no questions asked.
Aki sisters
-Just remembering I exist is fine, too.
Hina
-something about spinning
Momiji
-arf
Aya
-I can just see the headline now: Loving Couple Chased Out of Town by Angry Mob <3
Sanae
-Oh! So this is love! …This is kind of fun.
Kanako
-Please be mine; I’ll promise to be faithful.
Bucket loli
-…I like you.
Parsee
-Everyone else has a partner. I’m jealous.
Yuugi
-You pick me, our happiness NOT EVEN DROP
Orin
-Want to go out for Wendy’s sometime?
Utsuho
-I’ll try not to give you cancer!
Kogasa
-Surprise! I like you!
Murasa
-Come sail away with me ok no more horribly obvious puns
Shou
-Year of the Tiger starts the same day as Valentine’s Day! You know that’s a sign.
Byakuren
-Even saviors need someone to talk to now and then.
Iku
-WE CAN HAVE SATURDAY NIGHT EVERY NIGHT BABY
Tenshi
-Being with you is heavenly; I feel like I can move the earth.
ZUN
-Let’s go out for drinks!

Yandere Simulator “Could Be Renamed”
Studio FOW Short Totally Tentacular
Phantom World Stretching Expectations
Charming Futaba Nendoroid
How You Wish KyoAni Made Phantom World…