Sankaku Complex Forums » General

1. 

   Master Evil The Return!
   

   Since we DON'T have a joke/comedy thread, I decided to bring one up, so COME ONE, COME ALL!!
   BRING THE FUNNY, BRING THE LAUGHS!, BRING THE WhatTheFuck~~!!

   I'll go first:-

   Dinner Time

   " Little Johnny comes home from school one day and asks his mother what "shit" meant.

   Thinking fast she replied "food on the table".

   Next day he comes home and asks his mother what does "son of a bitch" mean.

   Again, thinking fast again she says "It's a priest".

   Next day he comes home a asks what does "fuckin'" mean. She says it means "getting dressed".

   That same night a priest was coming over for dinner. Johnny is just finished setting the table when he hears the doorbell ring.

   He yells "got it". He opens the door and says "Hey son of a bitch, shits on the table and mom and dad are upstairs fuckin'". "

   Posted 5 years ago #
2. 

   Dombossu
   

   Comdey.

   Posted 5 years ago #
3. 

   T.O.M. Morrow
   

   Yay! Gr8 idea, King! :)

   Posted 5 years ago #
4. 

   Lariat
   

   dombossu said:
   Comdey.

   Yeah, when I saw the thread title, I was kinda scared for a minute there.

   Posted 5 years ago #
5. 

   Yuriko
   

   I only know german stuff if this is allowed ):

   Was kommt nach Elch? Zwölch!
   Was macht ein Clown im Büro? Faxen!
   Fragt die eine Kerze die Andere: "Sa mal, sind offene Fenster eigentlich gefährlich?" sagt die Andere: "Tjaaaa, da kannste von ausgehen!"

   Posted 5 years ago #
6. 

   Bleakness
   

   yurikoraine said:
   I only know german stuff if this is allowed ):

   Was kommt nach Elch? Zwölch!
   Was macht ein Clown im Büro? Faxen!
   Fragt die eine Kerze die Andere: "Sa mal, sind offene Fenster eigentlich gefährlich?" sagt die Andere: "Tjaaaa, da kannste von ausgehen!"

   I'd heard it. :(

   Posted 5 years ago #
7. 

   Master Evil The Return!
   

   yurikoraine said:
   I only know german stuff if this is allowed ):

   Was kommt nach Elch? Zwölch!
   Was macht ein Clown im Büro? Faxen!
   Fragt die eine Kerze die Andere: "Sa mal, sind offene Fenster eigentlich gefährlich?" sagt die Andere: "Tjaaaa, da kannste von ausgehen!"

   Google translator fails D:

   What comes after Moose? Zwölch!
   What makes a clown in office? Fax!
   Ask a candle the other: "Sa me, open windows are really dangerous?" says the other: "Tjaaaa may arise because of"

   Posted 5 years ago #
8. 

   T.O.M. Morrow
   

   So once upon a time, I was fighting Ganondorf, and he was beating my a$$ really badly, when in a moment of inspiration/desperation, I pulled out my fishing pole. I must have confused Ganondorf, 'cause he kept getting distracted by it, allowing me to give him a taste of the cold steel of my Master Sword. You'd have thought he'd never seen a fishing pole before.

   There's comedy in there somewhere, I'm sure of it...

   BTW...Ganondorf was killed! Yeah! :)

   Posted 5 years ago #
9. 

   Odysseus
   

   ashita said:
   BTW...Ganondorf was killed! Yeah! :)

   Killing is almost as funny as guns.

   (I can't find the HAWP video I was tying into atm, so you'll just have to live without the lulz)

   Posted 5 years ago #
10. 

    DirtyPair
    

    master-evil said:

    Google translator fails D:

    What comes after Moose? Zwölch!
    What makes a clown in office? Fax!
    Ask a candle the other: "Sa me, open windows are really dangerous?" says the other: "Tjaaaa may arise because of"

    It gets lost in translation.

    Posted 5 years ago #
11. 

    Offline
    

    yurikoraine said:
    I only know german stuff if this is allowed ):
    Was kommt nach Elch? Zwölch!

    That's kinda cute =3

    Hungarian stand up comedy quotes:

    "Hungaricum is something we made and we are the only ones who can eat it..."

    "The actor playing Harry Potter got naked...I can already see the scene as Hermione walks over to Harry saying: Well that certainly is no Nimbus 2000..."

    "TV fortune-teller: Does your leg hurt?
    Old lady: Yes...
    TV fortune-teller: The right one?
    Old Lady: No...
    TV fortune-teller: Then it's the left!"

    "Police officer: Let's see the required equipment
    Comedian: There it is, the steering wheel...
    Police officer: That's not it!
    Comedian: Why? Did u ever try to drive without it?"

    Posted 5 years ago #
12. 

    T.O.M. Morrow
    

    *Knock Knock
    x Who's there?
    * XQ's
    x XQ's who?
    * XQ's me, Princess!

    :P

    This is why it's smart for Nintendo to keep Link a silent hero.

    Posted 5 years ago #
13. 

    Offline
    

    Found on Facebook:

    *girl dies in movie* HAHA THAT'S WHAT YOU GET, YA WHORE.
    *guy dies in movie* Ahahahaha you were useless anyway!
    *dog dies in movie* WHAT THE FUCK! WHY WOULD YOU KILL THE DOG? GO TO HELL.

    Nazi Germany surrender to the United States on May 7th, 1945. Chuck Norris was born on May 6th, 1945. Coincidence, I think not.

    *boy whispers to his mom during a wedding*
    boy: "Mommy?"
    mom: "What?"
    boy: "Why is the girl dressed in white?"
    mom: "Because this is the happiest day of her life."
    boy: "... so why is the boy dressed in black?

    Akon- "I wanna fuck you" (2006)
    Akon- "I just had sex" (2010)
    Took him 4 years to get laid, poor guy.
    Maybe next time it'l be:
    Akon- "I just got AIDS" (2014)

    Posted 5 years ago #
14. 

    T.O.M. Morrow
    

    The lamest joke of all:

    Why is 6 afraid of 7?

    Because 7 ate 9!

    HAHA!

    Posted 5 years ago #
15. 

    King Tiger
    

    A duck walks into a bar...

    Animal control is promptly called, the duck is then taken to a nearby park and released.

    Posted 5 years ago #
16. 

    Peter Barton
    

    3 men are sitting at a gay bar, enjoying themselves. 1 of them leans over a bit before sitting back down, saying "Excuse me". The second man leans over then proceeds to sit down, also saying "Excuse me". The third man leans over and lets out a large fart. The second man chuckles to himself and says "Somebody's a virgin".

    Posted 5 years ago #
17. 

    T.O.M. Morrow
    

    How Old is 15 Really?

    Dave Chappelle:
    

    Posted 5 years ago #
18. 

    Nin
    

    Peter Barton said:
    3 men are sitting at a gay bar, enjoying themselves. 1 of them leans over a bit before sitting back down, saying "Excuse me". The second man leans over then proceeds to sit down, also saying "Excuse me". The third man leans over and lets out a large fart. The second man chuckles to himself and says "Somebody's a virgin".

    If receiving anal sex means I won't be able to blast ripping farts anymore, I'm totally turned off of that idea now.

    Posted 5 years ago #
19. 

    Artwork
    

    Nin, please become a stand-up comedian. I'm sure you'll do fine.

    Posted 5 years ago #
20. 

    Pantsu, kudasai!
    

    What's funnier than a dead baby?

    a dead baby dressed as a clown!

    harharharhar!

    Posted 5 years ago #

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