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AKB48 Handshaking “Now Like A Slave Market”

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Mere weeks after one of them tried to saw off their hands, AKB48 are again hard at work shaking the hands of their creepy fans – who are now under such heavy guard that the entire process has been compared unfavourably to a prison visit or the more unstable kind of border crossing…

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  • Anonymous commented on January 19, 2015 04:30

    When sex robots and Oculus Rift type tech get advanced enough, then these poor souls can save there money and get all the attention they want at home. Men will work very hard for their Oculus... More

  • Anonymous commented on November 25, 2014 04:03

    Then grab a nuke yourself instead of bitching about it.... More

180 Comments »

US Army Upskirtist Caught By Victim

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An American soldier has been arrested for the very Japanese crime of upskirt photography, apparently having spent a little too much time absorbing the local culture.

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  • Jungle Evil commented on July 4, 2014 22:36

    The only problem with that is a) think of the people who currently run japan, even mayors. b) China has a HARD ON for Japan They need us. We could let them have a standing army again, but... More

  • Jungle Evil commented on July 4, 2014 22:32

    It's everyone's business to meddle in cultures, especially when it violates human rights. Take Russia and homosexuality for example. I don't care if it's acceptable to treat gay's like dirt over there. I don't care... More

99 Comments »

JD Mass Fainting: “Some of Them Soiled Themselves”

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An as yet unexplained Shinjuku mass fainting event which saw a large number of young women collapse and lose consciousness has bemused both authorities and the online masses.

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  • Anonymous commented on November 10, 2014 02:32

    gee bro i tell you all when i had arip in there near that lion statue an oldman urinate it poor human who colapse near that statue... More

  • Anonymous commented on June 29, 2014 16:42

    And it only affected women because? Gas is pretty dangerous to both genders.... More

145 Comments »

Japan Loli Ban Passes: “2D Is Safe, For Now…”

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Japan has just criminalised the possession of child pornography, though this time around lawmakers declined to destroy the anime and manga industry by banning their works as well, instead settling only for material featuring real people.

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  • Anonymous commented on December 1, 2014 15:18

    Considering how many country have women as whore and slaves because their religion says so, Japan is mild and going in the wrong direction.... More

  • Anonymous commented on June 23, 2014 22:40

    You really should know that there wasn't a clear CP law before because of the socially accepted under-aged prostitution. You know. Where the wealthy, decadent pigs throw a huge stack of money at those promiscuous... More

176 Comments »

JK Oil Massage “Beauty Salon” Busted

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The latest establishment to fail in its attempt to stay on the right side of the law whilst satisfying the universal need of Japanese males for schoolgirl contact comes in the form of a “beauty salon” which rather optimistically attempted to get away with having underdressed schoolgirls give patrons oil massages…

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  • Anonymous commented on June 25, 2014 03:41

    Sounds like we have to wait for all the old people in the gov to pass on so we can have great jobs without interference. THey werent forced into the job and were prob getting... More

  • Anonymous commented on June 20, 2014 08:14

    By they I mean the Judge, if you make the police work to convict you instead of admitting(And saving man hours), that will always be taken into consideration by the judge, and in some cases... More

39 Comments »

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Police have announced a national first in their war on uncensored porn, having busted a couple as they streamed themselves having sex live over the Internet – the streamers in question already having netted some $300,000 this year alone.

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  • Anonymous commented on November 9, 2015 22:14

    MUAHAHAHAHAHA!!!... More

  • Anonymous commented on November 23, 2014 03:25

    I would say he receives 10 negative points for correcting the terminology incorrectly. Using his definition of flout: You can treat the constitution with disdain to keep from being extradited Or the definition of flaunt: You can display the... More

140 Comments »

AKB48 GE37: Mayuyu Crushes Sasshi “I Will Protect AKB”

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The results to the 37th AKB48 general election have been announced, seeing something of an upset as super carnivore Rino Sashihara’s reign was ended by Mayu Watanabe with 159,854 votes.

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  • Anonymous commented on March 30, 2015 14:51

    thats the aerosol cloud of otaku jizz wafting across the stadium.... More

  • Anonymous commented on November 25, 2014 04:06

    A good burn right there.. sir.... More

133 Comments »

Farmer’s 4600 Votes for Sashihara: “I Employ A CD Opener”

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AKB48 “super carnivore” Rino Sashihara’s fans are as ardent as ever, with a strawberry farmer’s confession that he has to employ an assistant to separate all his thousands of votes from their accompanying CDs still managing to provoke awe online.

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  • Anonymous commented on June 9, 2014 01:38

    Buying multiple albums is just dumb.... More

  • Anonymous commented on June 8, 2014 10:47

    With that money I could retire at 65 instead of 70.... More

78 Comments »

AKB48 Otaku “Now Treated Like Paying Criminals”

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The first AKB48 performance since two of their girls were maimed in a saw attack has finished, but with steel fences between them and the girls, body searches, metal detectors, police guards and physical contact banned there have been complaints AKB48 otaku are now paying for the equivalent of a prison visit – perhaps appropriately enough, as soon after an AKB fan was arrested for a series of arson attacks in the middle of Akihabara.

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  • Anonymous commented on June 10, 2014 18:32

    Burn... More

  • Anonymous commented on June 9, 2014 13:16

    Police protection of this magnitude? If there's any doubt before that the yakuza owns a hefty part of AKB....... More

77 Comments »

JK Sex Tutor Busted By Mother: “Please Teach My Daughter”

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A man has been arrested for engaging in indecent acts with a schoolgirl friend after her mother invited him to come to her house to give her some private tutelage and then turned him over to police.

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  • Anonymous commented on July 28, 2014 18:38

    ..... More

  • Anonymous commented on July 22, 2014 09:36

    isn't age of consent 14 in japan?... More

68 Comments »

AKB48 Election Fraud: 1000 “Used” Votes for $10,000

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The latest general election drama to grip the nation sees an outraged AKB48 begging for a refund of the ¥950,000 he used to buy 1000 vote tickets which had already been used – having appropriately enough been described in the auction as “second-hand.”

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  • Anonymous commented on January 2, 2015 20:19

    There's a way to resolve this amicably. The seller can simply hold his own hand shaking event, and let the buyer shake his hand and maybe sit with him for a few minutes while they... More

  • Anonymous commented on January 2, 2015 20:00

    Exactly... If he were selling them for a small fraction of the amount, I could maybe see that argument holding up, but selling them for the majority of the cost of purchasing CDs new would... More

63 Comments »

AKB48 Otaku Sues Sawer Over Lost Handshaking Event

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An enraged AKB48 fan is attempting to sue the maniac behind the saw rampage which has led to the next handshaking event being cancelled, demanding the cost of the 330 CDs he bought along with payment for the emotional distress of the cancellation.

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  • Anonymous commented on May 31, 2014 23:15

    Funny that people making these claims about sarcasm and japan when their animes, mangas, games, etc have sarcastic characters.... More

  • Indra EMC commented on May 31, 2014 11:01

    At least i NEVER buy those CD's or attend any "Handshake" event, because i can spend my money for better purpose than for "handshaking" with someone who doesn't give a Sh*t about me.... More

80 Comments »

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