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Coronavirus Allegedly Rampant in Tokyo Red Light District

It is being reported that Tokyo’s prostitutes are riddled with the Chinese virus, putting their customers at extreme risk of infection and meaning that the city’s surplus of NEETs and otaku are probably completely fine.

Officials are reporting a surge of infections in Shinjuku Ward’s Kabukicho district, allegedly stemming from the area’s sex industry (adult club hostesses and prostitutes alike). It is believed that Kabukicho sees around 300,000 visitors every day, many of them flocking towards the area’s 300 sex businesses.

Governor Yuriko Koike has besought the nation’s perverts to avoid such establishments as a result of the Chinese pandemic.

In spite of only having 500 confirmed cases in the city, a recent survey of 64,000 people in Tokyo found that 7% reported Coronavirus symptoms (although it must be borne in mind that mild infections can be confused with colds, flu or allergies).

So far, Prime Minister Shinzo Abe has refrained from calling for the kind of nationwide lockdown that has been used in many Western countries, instead relying on mask-wearing and the socially reticent nature of the country’s population in order to prevent the kind of outbreak that has led to thousands of deaths in many European nations.

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