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China Reject Recruits “Too Fat & Masturbate Too Much”


Some of the leading reasons for Chinese military recruits attempting to enlist being rejected include being too fat or masturbating too much, embarrassing new data reveals.

Apparently 57% of potential recruits at an unnamed Chinese town were rejected for failing to meet the physical fitness requirements – a fifth of them due to being too obese while others were rejected for unhealthy livers and gallbladders caused by poor eating habits; bad eyesight blamed on smartphone use was the cause of even more failures.

Another 8% were rejected because of “abnormal enlargement of small testicular veins” – a fate that apparently befalls those obsessed with masturbation and is apparently debilitating enough to prevent eager soldiers from being recruited.

Recent reports stated that the physical fitness of Chinese youths has been dropping drastically, with one study declaring that China possesses the most obese children than any other country in the world (America’s glorious commander-in-chief looks likely to rectify this if only by personal example though).

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