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Shintaro Ishihara “Obama Tried to Assassinate Me”


None too popular former Tokyo governor Shintaro Ishihara is still maintaining public attention even in his dotage, now claiming that former president Obama tried to assassinate him while he was in office, an unusually hard to believe statement even for the master of such.

The May 19th issue of Shukan Post revealed an interview had between politician Shizuka Kamei and the elderly former Tokyo governor, with Ishihara claiming that Obama ordered the CIA to assassinate him whilst the purchase of the Senkaku Islands were underway – his statement:

“Why doesn’t America just assassinate Kim Jong-un already? I mean, they killed Gaddafi and Bin laden after careful planning, didn’t they. Assassinations are their specialty. When Tokyo was trying to purchase the Senkaku Islands, Obama told the CIA, ‘Use Chinese people in Japan and kill Ishihara by making it look like a traffic accident.'”

Naturally, no evidence was produced to support this wild claim, with the CIA’s mad dog status and Obama’s worship of the almighty Chinese wang the only real testament to its credibility.

In the interview, Ishihara additionally augured the next move by the Trumpenreich’s god-emperor in regards to dealing with North Korea:

“Right now, North Korea is probably the only country the world would find acceptable for the United States to drop an atomic bomb on. I don’t think the world would complain even if the leadership of North Korea were to be annihilated by nuclear weapons.”

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