Mass Pantsu Thief “Filched 600+ Pairs”


An accomplished pantsu thief has at last been captured by the ever triumphant Tokyo police, with his motive unsurprisingly being of a sexual nature (like almost all other past pantsu thieving cases), though this particular thief has the singular distinction of managing to filch over 600 pairs of pantsu in his criminal career.

The suspect, a 39-year-old male and residing in Chofu in Tokyo, was apprehended by police whilst stealing any and all undergarments from a woman’s residence; he has admitted to the allegations of theft and gave the common response of being “unable to control his sexual desires” – thankfully an excuse which only passes muster when uttered by refugees in barbarian nations.

An investigation of the criminal’s home revealed him to be in the possession of over 600 pairs of women’s pantsu, shocking few, though some believe his prized collection to be possibly the largest one to date – and a symbol of the skill and ardor of the Japanese police force.

Those seeking to topple the man’s record need only dedicate several years of their life to the craft, likely to both gather the underwear and then serve the sentence afterwards.

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