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Woman Raped by Pokemon


A woman hailing from Moscow recently reported to police that she had been sexually assaulted by a Pokemon whilst playing the ever popular Pokemon Go, a bizarre accusation that will no doubt build upon the game’s steadily growing level of “infamy”.

The married victim was playing the game in her apartment before falling asleep, waking up later to discover that a “giant” Pokemon was supposedly on top of her – a story that many have naturally found unconvincing.

The misfortunate woman told her husband the news, causing the “concerned” man to tell the police her bewildering tale (which he himself did not believe) – resulting in the police (surprisingly enough) dismissing her claims and instructing her to seek psychiatric help.

Somehow shaken up by the whole ordeal, the victim sought aid from a psychic, who naturally could do nothing to remedy the situation (other than take her money); the woman’s friend had elaborated on her plight:

“She says there are too many Pokemon at her place and even the dog can sense them. She says the dog barks whenever she plays Pokemon GO.”

Thankfully the woman finally resorted to visiting a psychiatrist, but it seems likely the story will fuel further cheap shots at Nintendo’s new magnum opus all the same.

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