Man Secretly Stuffs JK Crevice with Used Condom

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A 58-year-old man has been arrested on charges of “property damage” for stuffing a condom full of his own semen into a schoolgirl’s bag, a crime that the offender claimed to be his way of “relieving stress” – the act of filling the condom seemingly proving insufficient in this regard.

The “troubled” man, an employee at a cleaning firm, apparently dropped the condom (filled with his own semen) into an unsuspecting schoolgirl’s bag at Kokkaigijido-mae station in Tokyo; once the victim arrived at school she discovered the unwanted insertion had spilled its contents all over her belongings.

The apprehended man explained that he carried through with his crime because he was “stressed from work”, an excuse that many are naturally finding difficult to stomach, especially when so many other forms of sexual stress relief exist (which some individuals have unfortunately yet to discover).

The offender had also admitted that he had performed similar acts for the past several years, with DNA testing revealing that he may be the culprit in various other semen-based incidents in the area.

Despite apparently falling squarely into the category of sexual assault, the perpetrator is being charged with property damage due to the destructive nature of his fluids…


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