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China Bans Banana Fellatio as “Socially Immoral!”

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China has banned the “suggestive” consumption of bananas online after the massive popularity of young girls orally consuming the phallic fruit online.

The steady rise of livestream viewing in China has apparently prompted the Chinese government to take action as part of their growing effort to stamp out “inappropriate and erotic” content online – a Sisyphean endeavor that has led to ridicule for all governments who attempted it for decades already.

All popular streaming sites have since been forced into dutifully monitoring their content 24/7 to make certain that no immoral activities are visible, an act so desperate ulterior motives have been theorized.

In addition to the scandalous banana-eating, simply wearing stockings or suspenders has now also become a crime – at least whilst on a livestream – probably threatening a great deal of innocent cosplay and maybe even mainstream media outlets not fully paid up with the CCP…

Examples of suggestive banana-based imagery that will no longer fly on Chinese livestreams (sadly most actual examples merely involve real girls):

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Naturally the ban has garnered a wealth of negative opinions (all of which are likely to go unheard given China already has its patch of cyberspace on lockdown) but some are already pondering “loopholes”, such as men suggestively eating bananas or eating cucumbers instead, as well as just what constitutes “provocative” frugivorois conduct…

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