Otaku Haiku Contest: “We Relate To Them Too Much!”


An otaku-themed haiku contest entitled the “otaku senryu contest” has been striking a chord with an abundance of otaku due to how much some can embarrassingly relate to the results, with possibly the most accurate haiku naturally obtaining the top prize.

Rough translations of the winners and a runner-up:

1. ¥100,000

I turn off the computer
The beautiful woman disappears
Only my fat reflection fills the screen

2. ¥50,000

I have many hobbies
But talking to people
Is not one of them

3. ¥50,000

From my wallet
A ten-thousand yen bill disappears
Ah! And there goes another

4. ¥10,000

At the handshake event
The hot guy gets two minutes
Alas, I get five seconds

5. ¥10,000

The idea of buying something
On the spot, spur of the moment
Makes me laugh

7. ¥10,000

The year of Evangelion
Came and went
But the angels did not appear

7. ¥10,000

I always thought that
Marriage was just
Something that happened to everybody

10. ¥5,000

I want my hand
To reach for the same book
As someone else

11. Runner-Up

(´・ω・`) (´・ω・`) (´・ω・`) (´・ω・`) (´・ω・`)
(´・ω・`) (´・ω・`) (´・ω・`) (´・ω・`) (´・ω・`) (´・ω・`) (´・ω・`)
(´・ω・`) (´・ω・`) (´・ω・`) (´・ω・`) (´・ω・`)

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    Comment by Anonymous
    09:37 23/03/2016 # ! Quality (+1.0)

    Second one is translated incorrectly.
    It should be:
    I have many hobbies
    But none of them
    I can tell people about

    Comment by Anonymous
    23:45 23/03/2016 # ! Neutral (0)

    You can interpret, "I can't talk to people about my hobbies" from the OP's translation. Spelling it out shows us that you don't understand the medium:

    The great appeal of haiku poems seems to result mainly from two qualities: their dependence on the reader's power of awareness, bringing him closer to simple, elemental truths; and their capacity to grow in meaning as they are read and reread.

    Comment by Anonymous
    16:04 24/03/2016 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    What are you going on about? It's blatantly wrong. You're defending a WRONG translation by saying that you can get the CORRECT translation out of it if you play semantic games.

    Comment by Anonymous
    16:17 30/03/2016 # ! Neutral (0)

    Welcome to the world of poetry.

    Comment by Anonymous
    10:47 24/03/2016 # ! Neutral (0)

    He is precisely right. People who are arguing back don't actually speak the language.

    "hanaseru" is potential form of "hanasu", meaning "can speak" and "hito ni hanaseru shumi" is "hobbies I can tell people (others)". If I were to write it like the English translation, it would be along the lines of "hito ni hanasu no wa" ("no" nominalizing the action of talking) "shumi jya nai". Of course that doesn't fit the 5-7-5.

    Comment by Anonymous
    13:14 23/03/2016 # ! Neutral (0)

    Are you sure cause Im pretty sure they got that right, I maybe wrong though.

    Comment by Anonymous
    14:01 23/03/2016 # ! Neutral (0)

    nah, he is right.

    The second line is "(something) I can tell people" with the 3rd line saying "I have no hobbies"

    So, the 2nd and 3rd line combined is "I have no hobbies I can tell people about"

    Comment by Anonymous

    Your translation sounds like shit. This is prose, not manga; accuracy isn't as important as aesthetic pleasure.

    Comment by Anonymous
    21:56 23/03/2016 # ! Neutral (0)

    The author "rift" made the error unless he took this from somewhere and plagarised it.

    Its a hard error to make unless you're way too sleepy. The entire original intent is completely lost.

    Comment by Anonymous
    15:52 24/03/2016 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    And yet, either way, still eerily accurate.

    Comment by Anonymous
    09:48 23/03/2016 # ! Good (+0.8)

    Number 1 captures the essence perfectly.

    Avatar of Palmtop Tsundere
    Comment by Palmtop Tsundere
    04:54 23/03/2016 # ! Good (+0.6)

    "The year of Evangelion
    Came and went
    But the angels did not appear"

    FUCKING ANNO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Comment by Anonymous
    14:11 23/03/2016 # ! Neutral (0)

    I didn't get this one; can someone elaborate please?

    Comment by Anonymous
    16:48 23/03/2016 # ! Neutral (0)

    Kinda like patlabor, the reality passed fiction. 2nd impact was 2000ish, and the series took place 2015

    more over, Anno is the person to thank for the ending of eva being, um, so unique

    Comment by Anonymous
    02:30 24/03/2016 # ! Neutral (0)

    thats an interesting funfact to know

    Comment by Anonymous
    16:48 23/03/2016 # ! Neutral (0)

    Kinda like patlabor, the reality passed fiction. 2nd impact was 2000ish, and the series took place 2015

    Comment by Anonymous
    05:43 23/03/2016 # ! Good (+0.6)

    This is depressing

    Avatar of Chen-04
    Comment by Chen-04
    20:14 23/03/2016 # ! Neutral (0)

    Because it doesn't conform to expectations of society?

    Comment by Anonymous

    Just like your sex life, I presume?

    Avatar of Riiku
    Comment by Riiku
    04:02 24/03/2016 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    Mother came into my room
    I was fapping
    Mother came out of my room

    Avatar of Kinny Riddle
    Comment by Kinny Riddle
    00:01 24/03/2016 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    It would have been even more amusing if SanCom took the effort to fit the English translation into the standard Haiku 5-7-5 syllable format as well.

    Here's my lame attempt.

    1. Turn off the PC
    Cute girl disappears from screen
    Reflect a fatass

    2. Have lots of hobbies
    But the people I talk to
    Don't have my hobbies

    3. From within wallet
    Ten-thousand note disappears
    There goes another

    4. At handshake event
    The hot guy gets two minutes
    I get five seconds

    5. I laugh at people
    Calling this a spending spree
    They ain't seen nothing

    (Referring to the 爆買い "spending spree" of Chinese tourists. Poem refers to an otaku's spending spree alone easily eclipses these Chinese)

    6. To know how times change
    Go watch Shuzo's commercials
    Beats weather forecasts

    (I don't know if I got this correct. Shuzo refers to Matsuoka Shuzo, a former ATP tennis player and internet celebrity due to the number of commercials he's appeared in over the years (and thus memes that come from editing such commercials). I'm guessing the poem is trying to say you'll know how the times have changed by watching Shuzo's commercials over the years, which would be more accurate than trying to analyze the climate forecasts. Feel free to correct me on this one. )

    7. Evangelion
    This year, Angels would attack
    Yet they never came

    8. Marriage will come
    Eventually, I thought
    But it never did

    9. Common knowledge that
    Mother of an otaku
    Is hard to swindle

    (Literal translation. But the meaning escapes me. Is the poem inferring otakus live with their folks, hence conmen don't usually get to swindle otakus because they have to go through their more vigilant moms first?)

    10. Always hoping that
    Someone would reach the same book
    That I am getting

    (Referring to the cliched anime boy-meets-girl in library/bookstore trope, i.e. never happens in real life, at least not to otakus)

    Comment by Anonymous
    13:32 24/03/2016 # ! Neutral (0)

    Far too relatable...

    Comment by Anonymous
    08:58 23/03/2016 # ! Neutral (0)

    The winner turns his computer off?


    Comment by Anonymous
    09:47 23/03/2016 # ! Neutral (0)

    10. ¥5,000

    I want my hand
    To reach for the same book
    As someone else

    Meanwhile, in real life...


    Comment by Anonymous
    08:24 23/03/2016 # ! Neutral (0)

    That runner up


    Avatar of Michael
    Comment by Michael
    05:03 23/03/2016 # ! Neutral (0)

    #2 Is To Real!! Way to real!!!

    Comment by Anonymous
    05:55 23/03/2016 # ! Neutral (0)

    "2. ¥50,000

    I have many hobbies
    But talking to people
    Is not one of them"

    I can totally relate. Praise be this fellow's!

    Comment by Anonymous
    08:25 23/03/2016 # ! Neutral (0)

    The article's translation is wrong though. The Japanese wording is that I have many hobbies, but not a single one about which I can talk to others. The implication being that all of the writer's hobbies are frowned upon, so he hides them.

    Comment by Anonymous

    Have you ever translated poetry before?

    Comment by Anonymous
    21:05 23/03/2016 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    I have many hobbies
    But talking to people
    Is not one of them

    Isn't poetry.
    You don't translate by changing the essence.

    Comment by Anonymous
    23:42 23/03/2016 # ! Neutral (0)

    "The Haiku is a brief poetic form expressing a moment of insight." (The Haiku Form, Joan Giroux)

    Poetry - unlike novels - may be as brief as it wishes to be. You really have no place in the discussion if you believe that Haiku isn't poetry.

    Avatar of Chen-04
    Comment by Chen-04
    20:17 23/03/2016 # ! Neutral (0)

    You don't translate by changing the meaning. Localizations are for that kind of crap.

    Avatar of Chen-04
    Comment by Chen-04
    22:30 23/03/2016 # ! Neutral (0)

    In the first place Haiku ain't poetry. It's just a couple of short sentences about a topic. If Haiku are poetry, instruction manuals are novels.

    Comment by Anonymous
    03:52 24/03/2016 # ! Neutral (0)

    Are we talking about Novels or Poems? You can use google to check my sources (ISBN-10: 0804811105) . If you don't feel it's credible look anywhere on the internet, from Wikipedia to any book that talks of Haiku, and you will see that you are wrong. Haikus are poetry. Even children know ought to know that.

    Comment by Anonymous
    04:14 24/03/2016 # ! Neutral (0)

    The quote came from a published book. You are too damn dumb to use google. Google the title of the book, or the author, or type "haiku" in Wikipedia.

    Avatar of Chen-04
    Comment by Chen-04
    02:34 24/03/2016 # ! Neutral (0)

    "A novel is a long text written about a specific topic." (The Great Text, A. Fondler)

    You really have no place in the discussion if you believe random quotes on the Internet.

    Avatar of Chen-04
    Comment by Chen-04
    05:08 26/03/2016 # ! Neutral (0)

    Okay, let's say haiku are poetry. Still doesn't warrant to change the meaning in the translation.

    Though, I always thought of poetry as the art to use language beautifully. Maybe Haiku is to poetry what twitter is to communication.

    Comment by Anonymous

    Ah, so is translation turning poetry into something that isn't poetry?

    Comment by Anonymous
    06:30 23/03/2016 # ! Neutral (0)

    Not true. You are a bllabermouth, but only through text.

    Avatar of Falos
    Comment by Falos
    14:56 23/03/2016 # ! Neutral (0)

    Now in comic form.


    Warning: Whomp contains traces amounts of cringe. And also obscene amounts of cringe.

    Avatar of Daniel Park
    Comment by Daniel Park
    14:02 23/03/2016 # ! Neutral (0)

    I can relate to #7. I gotta start walkin' around with a bag of oranges. Casually bump into the "one".

    Comment by Anonymous

    This haiku sucks sweaty donkey balls
    because it has way too many syllables in each line
    and it also has too many

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