An otaku-themed haiku contest entitled the “otaku senryu contest” has been striking a chord with an abundance of otaku due to how much some can embarrassingly relate to the results, with possibly the most accurate haiku naturally obtaining the top prize.
Rough translations of the winners and a runner-up:
1. ¥100,000
I turn off the computer
The beautiful woman disappears
Only my fat reflection fills the screen2. ¥50,000
I have many hobbies
But talking to people
Is not one of them3. ¥50,000
From my wallet
A ten-thousand yen bill disappears
Ah! And there goes another4. ¥10,000
At the handshake event
The hot guy gets two minutes
Alas, I get five seconds5. ¥10,000
The idea of buying something
On the spot, spur of the moment
Makes me laugh7. ¥10,000
The year of Evangelion
Came and went
But the angels did not appear7. ¥10,000
I always thought that
Marriage was just
Something that happened to everybody10. ¥5,000
I want my hand
To reach for the same book
As someone else11. Runner-Up
(´･ω･`) (´･ω･`) (´･ω･`) (´･ω･`) (´･ω･`)
(´･ω･`) (´･ω･`) (´･ω･`) (´･ω･`) (´･ω･`) (´･ω･`) (´･ω･`)
(´･ω･`) (´･ω･`) (´･ω･`) (´･ω･`) (´･ω･`)
Far too relatable…
Mother came into my room
I was fapping
Mother came out of my room
1位
（ネ申）
It would have been even more amusing if SanCom took the effort to fit the English translation into the standard Haiku 5-7-5 syllable format as well.
Here’s my lame attempt.
1. Turn off the PC
Cute girl disappears from screen
Reflect a fatass
2. Have lots of hobbies
But the people I talk to
Don’t have my hobbies
3. From within wallet
Ten-thousand note disappears
There goes another
4. At handshake event
The hot guy gets two minutes
I get five seconds
5. I laugh at people
Calling this a spending spree
They ain’t seen nothing
(Referring to the 爆買い “spending spree” of Chinese tourists. Poem refers to an otaku’s spending spree alone easily eclipses these Chinese)
6. To know how times change
Go watch Shuzo’s commercials
Beats weather forecasts
(I don’t know if I got this correct. Shuzo refers to Matsuoka Shuzo, a former ATP tennis player and internet celebrity due to the number of commercials he’s appeared in over the years (and thus memes that come from editing such commercials). I’m guessing the poem is trying to say you’ll know how the times have changed by watching Shuzo’s commercials over the years, which would be more accurate than trying to analyze the climate forecasts. Feel free to correct me on this one. )
7. Evangelion
This year, Angels would attack
Yet they never came
8. Marriage will come
Eventually, I thought
But it never did
9. Common knowledge that
Mother of an otaku
Is hard to swindle
(Literal translation. But the meaning escapes me. Is the poem inferring otakus live with their folks, hence conmen don’t usually get to swindle otakus because they have to go through their more vigilant moms first?)
10. Always hoping that
Someone would reach the same book
That I am getting
(Referring to the cliched anime boy-meets-girl in library/bookstore trope, i.e. never happens in real life, at least not to otakus)
Now in comic form.
http://www.whompcomic.com/comic/dating-simian
Warning: Whomp contains traces amounts of cringe. And also obscene amounts of cringe.
I can relate to #7. I gotta start walkin’ around with a bag of oranges. Casually bump into the “one”.
Number 1 captures the essence perfectly.
10. ¥5,000
I want my hand
To reach for the same book
As someone else
Meanwhile, in real life…
http://bato.to/reader#af2bef4efcf79d47_4
Second one is translated incorrectly.
It should be:
I have many hobbies
But none of them
I can tell people about
He is precisely right. People who are arguing back don’t actually speak the language.
“hanaseru” is potential form of “hanasu”, meaning “can speak” and “hito ni hanaseru shumi” is “hobbies I can tell people (others)”. If I were to write it like the English translation, it would be along the lines of “hito ni hanasu no wa” (“no” nominalizing the action of talking) “shumi jya nai”. Of course that doesn’t fit the 5-7-5.
You can interpret, “I can’t talk to people about my hobbies” from the OP’s translation. Spelling it out shows us that you don’t understand the medium:
The great appeal of haiku poems seems to result mainly from two qualities: their dependence on the reader’s power of awareness, bringing him closer to simple, elemental truths; and their capacity to grow in meaning as they are read and reread.
What are you going on about? It’s blatantly wrong. You’re defending a WRONG translation by saying that you can get the CORRECT translation out of it if you play semantic games.
Welcome to the world of poetry.
Are you sure cause Im pretty sure they got that right, I maybe wrong though.
nah, he is right.
The second line is “(something) I can tell people” with the 3rd line saying “I have no hobbies”
So, the 2nd and 3rd line combined is “I have no hobbies I can tell people about”
Your translation sounds like shit. This is prose, not manga; accuracy isn’t as important as aesthetic pleasure.
The author “rift” made the error unless he took this from somewhere and plagarised it.
Its a hard error to make unless you’re way too sleepy. The entire original intent is completely lost.
And yet, either way, still eerily accurate.
The winner turns his computer off?
Amateur.
That runner up
(´_ゝ`)
“2. ¥50,000
I have many hobbies
But talking to people
Is not one of them”
I can totally relate. Praise be this fellow’s!
The article’s translation is wrong though. The Japanese wording is that I have many hobbies, but not a single one about which I can talk to others. The implication being that all of the writer’s hobbies are frowned upon, so he hides them.
Have you ever translated poetry before?
Okay, let’s say haiku are poetry. Still doesn’t warrant to change the meaning in the translation.
Though, I always thought of poetry as the art to use language beautifully. Maybe Haiku is to poetry what twitter is to communication.
The quote came from a published book. You are too damn dumb to use google. Google the title of the book, or the author, or type “haiku” in Wikipedia.
Are we talking about Novels or Poems? You can use google to check my sources (ISBN-10: 0804811105) . If you don’t feel it’s credible look anywhere on the internet, from Wikipedia to any book that talks of Haiku, and you will see that you are wrong. Haikus are poetry. Even children know ought to know that.
“A novel is a long text written about a specific topic.” (The Great Text, A. Fondler)
You really have no place in the discussion if you believe random quotes on the Internet.
“The Haiku is a brief poetic form expressing a moment of insight.” (The Haiku Form, Joan Giroux)
Poetry – unlike novels – may be as brief as it wishes to be. You really have no place in the discussion if you believe that Haiku isn’t poetry.
In the first place Haiku ain’t poetry. It’s just a couple of short sentences about a topic. If Haiku are poetry, instruction manuals are novels.
I have many hobbies
But talking to people
Is not one of them
Isn’t poetry.
You don’t translate by changing the essence.
You don’t translate by changing the meaning. Localizations are for that kind of crap.
Ah, so is translation turning poetry into something that isn’t poetry?
Not true. You are a bllabermouth, but only through text.
This is depressing
Because it doesn’t conform to expectations of society?
Just like your sex life, I presume?
#2 Is To Real!! Way to real!!!
“The year of Evangelion
Came and went
But the angels did not appear”
FUCKING ANNO!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I didn’t get this one; can someone elaborate please?
Kinda like patlabor, the reality passed fiction. 2nd impact was 2000ish, and the series took place 2015
more over, Anno is the person to thank for the ending of eva being, um, so unique
thats an interesting funfact to know
thanks
Kinda like patlabor, the reality passed fiction. 2nd impact was 2000ish, and the series took place 2015
This haiku sucks sweaty donkey balls
because it has way too many syllables in each line
and it also has too many
lines