AKB48 Sales Higher Than Ever: “Here’s Why”

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The all important 6th AKB48 general election is underway, and with sales on the first day topping 1,462,000 a new record has been set – though online there is some doubt as to just how they accomplished this feat, with vast numbers of sales evidently going the creepy otaku desperate enough to buy scores of copies so they can vote up their favourite girl.

According to AKB48’s number one chart shill Oricon, their new single “Labrador Retriever” hit 1.462 million copies “shipped” on its first day, beating out the previous “Sayonara Crawl” by a suspiciously slight 11,000.

How it managed this feat is may well be obvious – the more dedicated fans have long made a point of demonstrating their devotion to their girl of choice by photo-bragging their boxes of voting ticket laden CDs on 2ch and elsewhere:

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Outside AKB worshiping circles their antics seem to have resulted in them being more shunned that never:

“What a waste.”

“This is just farcical.”

“200 singles a box?”

“All the discs in just one of those photos would buy an artist onto Oricon’s charts…”

“At least they seem happy.”

“They really are trash. Someone should make an issue out of this.”

“What do they do with all these discs…”

“They buy all these and all they get to do to them is shake their hand!”

“With that kind of money you should just go to a brothel and be done with it.”

“Cool Japan indeed. More like Crazy Japan.”

“The shame of Japan!”

“At least sell the tickets on their own!”

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