Seditiously Sexy Natalia “So Cute They Are Arresting Her!”

The Ukrainian government has ordered the arrest of Natalia Poklonskaya, the moemoe chief prosecutor of Crimea after she was charged with sedition for collaborating in what the dastardly Ukrainian anti-semites and their American masters still insist on maintaining was an illegal restoration of the region to glorious Mother Russia.

Ukrainian authorities say she violated their unreasonable laws against participating in an overthrow of the government or handing over Ukrainian territory to a foreign power, and so put her on their wanted list for treason.

There is of course some reason to speculate that if she had never came to global attention for her looks the Ukrainian authorities would never have bothered with her – Ukrainian arrest warrants for other Crimean “collaborators” now working in service of Putin are only 7 in number – making her very much a victim of her own cuteness.

Fortunately for Natalia – now Crimea’s acting chief prosecutor – as she is now in indisputably Russian territory and under the protection of armies loyal to Putin there is no real danger of the wicked Ukrainians nabbing her for treason or otherwise, although she may sadly have some trouble travelling overseas to visit all her new fans in future.

Fortunately all these efforts to besmirch her good name have not diminished the quality of art she continues to inspire: