Tokyo Olympics “Brought To You By AKB48…”

Yasushi Akimoto

AKB48 boss Yasushi Akimoto is about to be announced as one of the directors of the Tokyo 2020 Olympic Games, much to the despair of those few deluded souls who still thought the event had something to do with sports rather than lucrative backroom deals.

The news that the world’s foremost corporate marketing event is now being run by the “yakuza-connected” lord of Japan’s idol trade and a geriatric ex-PM renowned only for Olympian feats of incompetence (along with some actual athletes, including Rie Tanaka – the gymnast, rather than the seiyuu, unfortunately) has not been greeted favourably, with there being some not unreasonable concerns that at best the event will be used to promote an endless stream of ***48 groups, and at worst will involve some form of handshaking event…

“Give us a break!”

“Just cancel the games, please…”

“Tickets will come with handshaking event passes!”

“Give it a rest, they are just going to flood the opening events with their tawdry celebrities now.”

“It could not get any worse than this.”

“So much for the Olympics, anyone looking at all the interest groups carving it up can see it is done for.”

“This is going to be a national embarrassment.”

“Putting that huckster in charge is going to ruin things.”

“Expect an AKB48 opening relay to light the flame, opening ceremonies by Johnnies and Arashi, the inaugural speech to be given by Shintaro Ishihara…”

“What a waste.”

“Come on – AKB48 are already on the way out, there is no way anyone will even remember who they are by 2020.”

“At least pick someone who will still be in charge of something by the time they come round.”

“He’s good at selling stuff but has never produced any worthwhile music and has no artistic pride. I think he just intends to use the Olympics to promote himself.”

“This will not end well!”

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