Tokyo Olympics “Brought To You By AKB48…”

Yasushi Akimoto

AKB48 boss Yasushi Akimoto is about to be announced as one of the directors of the Tokyo 2020 Olympic Games, much to the despair of those few deluded souls who still thought the event had something to do with sports rather than lucrative backroom deals.

The news that the world’s foremost corporate marketing event is now being run by the “yakuza-connected” lord of Japan’s idol trade and a geriatric ex-PM renowned only for Olympian feats of incompetence (along with some actual athletes, including Rie Tanaka – the gymnast, rather than the seiyuu, unfortunately) has not been greeted favourably, with there being some not unreasonable concerns that at best the event will be used to promote an endless stream of ***48 groups, and at worst will involve some form of handshaking event…

“Give us a break!”

“Just cancel the games, please…”

“Tickets will come with handshaking event passes!”

“Give it a rest, they are just going to flood the opening events with their tawdry celebrities now.”

“It could not get any worse than this.”

“So much for the Olympics, anyone looking at all the interest groups carving it up can see it is done for.”

“This is going to be a national embarrassment.”

“Putting that huckster in charge is going to ruin things.”

“Expect an AKB48 opening relay to light the flame, opening ceremonies by Johnnies and Arashi, the inaugural speech to be given by Shintaro Ishihara…”

“What a waste.”

“Come on – AKB48 are already on the way out, there is no way anyone will even remember who they are by 2020.”

“At least pick someone who will still be in charge of something by the time they come round.”

“He’s good at selling stuff but has never produced any worthwhile music and has no artistic pride. I think he just intends to use the Olympics to promote himself.”

“This will not end well!”

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    Comment by Anonymous
    10:01 13/03/2014 # ! Quality (+1.0)

    That is if AKB48 is still alive in 2020.... hahahaha

    Comment by Anonymous
    09:51 14/03/2014 # ! Neutral (0)

    I'm sure by then they would have new ones rolling out the factory to replace the old ones who'll probably all be gone to p0rn or something like that >.>

    Comment by Anonymous

    i cant fucking believe they use a band like akb48 for olympics ! why not Morning Musume or C-ute ? or one of those loli hello project eggs groups ? the entire opening ceremony should be just a continuous parade of loli and shota and gym uniforms please japan you yellow peril

    Comment by Anonymous
    11:15 27/03/2014 # ! Neutral (0)


    Go fuck yourself, you fucking island monkey!

    Comment by Anonymous
    14:54 13/03/2014 # ! Neutral (+0.4)

    Wait wait wait. People still care about the olympics?

    Avatar of PirateKing
    Comment by PirateKing
    10:09 13/03/2014 # ! Good (+0.3)

    The Olympics are garbage.

    It's all about nationalist idiots who cheer for their country and insult and spit on the others. And money of course.

    They should just stop with this crap alltogether and do something worthwhile instead of pursuing this "we're better than you" nonsense that fucks up the world.

    Avatar of Kyubey
    Comment by Kyubey
    12:26 13/03/2014 # ! Good (+0.4)

    If the Olympians would at least do tasks that could benefit the world; people treat these people as heroes, yet they just goof off and get paid to do so. If they replaced races, with fastest mail deliver, made the High Jumpers use it to scale cliffs in pursuit of wild animals, etc, then sure, these people would be benefiting humanity in some form or another even if its a menial task. But just to goof off and get celebrated for doing so? Nope.

    Comment by Anonymous
    21:03 13/03/2014 # ! Neutral (0)

    Yes, but with the menial tasks the people who benefit or would be interested are, taking into the account the scale of contribution, few. While you can goof off for the amusement of many, many more at the same time. So they go for that quantity.

    Comment by Anonymous
    13:37 13/03/2014 # ! Neutral (+0.4)

    Too bad tons of greedy companies know you're right, and will exploit the distracting effect of such events to keep the mediocre masses unable to focus on real issues.

    Comment by Anonymous

    You're right lets all hold hands across the world and sing this land is your land. Pussy, Clearly you are a beta male, now go wash my sock and make me a sandwich.

    Comment by Anonymous
    10:58 13/03/2014 # ! Neutral (+0.4)

    If you pay me, I will wash your sock and make you are sandwich. Man gotta make a living one way or another.

    Comment by Anonymous
    11:44 13/03/2014 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    Stop your fake world wars hippie washed as friendy sports. Real men do war, not sissy sports competitions, you beta poser!

    Comment by Anonymous
    11:19 13/03/2014 # ! Neutral (0)

    Macho man piece of shit

    Comment by Anonymous
    19:44 13/03/2014 # ! Neutral (0)

    where can i start chopping heads now?

    Comment by Anonymous
    11:24 13/03/2014 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    “This is going to be a national embarrassment.”

    What has japan done that isn't Embarrassing xD, the world has just accepted japan as the country that does the most random shit (you can take that as a good thing or a bad thing it swings both ways).

    Comment by Anonymous
    09:52 14/03/2014 # ! Neutral (0)

    They just need to add in some tentacles and then people would be like, "oh typical japan" instead of shaming them.

    Comment by Anonymous
    14:24 13/03/2014 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    Hatsune Miku for the Olympic song pleaseee!!!

    Comment by Anonymous
    10:45 13/03/2014 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    Who still believes that such huge events are EVER true randomical selection?

    Some say the 2014 FIFA's Wolrld Cup was payed by Brazil when it LOST to France in 98....yeah...a team that was FAR superior to France's team and was favorite even to the french went on to lose in such srange and easy way....heck here are peopel saying Brazil will even end up being the champion again!

    And then we have the 2016 Olympics...another pay out by the comitees to keep the, then, faster rising south americans economy...

    Big bucks rolling in all directions!!!!

    Comment by Anonymous
    11:24 13/03/2014 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    Welp, there goes any chance of Miku Hatsune singing in the closing ceremonies.

    Comment by Anonymous
    11:41 13/03/2014 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    We could try to make a 48 vocaloid group, we still have 6 years...
    VCL48, which will stay pure until VR becomes mainstream

    Avatar of Chen-04
    Comment by Chen-04
    20:04 13/03/2014 # ! Neutral (0)

    She's called Hatsune Miku, idiot.

    Comment by Anonymous


    Comment by Anonymous
    11:23 15/03/2014 # ! Neutral (0)

    There are more people in the world who use chinese-based writing than there are who use english so if we're going on what is 'dying' then it's english that should be gone. Quick name an english speaking country with a rising population....I can't name one either.

    Comment by Anonymous

    indeed. if the fucking nips want their names pronounced correctly then they should write them in fucking english, cantonese or spanish at least and not that fucking worthless, useless and dying language or 3 or whatever they fucking use.

    Miku Hatsune or Hatsune Miku....either way, that "creation ( read abortion ) is fucking awful no matter how you say it.

    Comment by Anonymous
    16:11 13/03/2014 # ! Neutral (0)

    Yasushi Akimoto has been involved with the Japanese Olympic comity since 2001, well before Akb48. This is nothing more than a senior member getting a good post. His one of the directors not the only director, so his not going to shove it up with 48 groups and if he does how is it any different from McDonalds involvement in the games ? Hell in the 96 Solt Lake City games Mitt Romney was one of the directors and was the Olympics that year some sort of Mormon festival, no. People need to chill the fuck out.

    Comment by Anonymous
    19:18 13/03/2014 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    "People need to chill the fuck out."

    Not on the internet my friend.

    Avatar of Wierd Guy
    Comment by Wierd Guy
    17:59 13/03/2014 # ! Neutral (0)

    Olympics hooker edition 2020

    Comment by Anonymous
    Avatar of DrZaius
    Comment by DrZaius
    18:20 13/03/2014 # ! Neutral (0)

    He's also one of the most influential and powerful men in the entertainment industry (producing many, many artists and TV shows) and a professor at a prestigious university. But you know, facts.

    Avatar of Satonaka
    Comment by Satonaka
    18:45 14/03/2014 # ! Neutral (0)

    Epic Name, here you go, you deserve this:

    Avatar of MuChaDo
    Comment by MuChaDo
    06:32 14/03/2014 # ! Neutral (0)

    Things funded with stolen money do tend to attract crooks.

    Comment by Anonymous
    22:47 13/03/2014 # ! Neutral (0)

    Seriously, why is everyone upset about this? Would you prefer to watch boy-bands instead? Perhaps Justin Bieber? Now even a troupe of half naked sluts is not good enough for you any more. For fuck sake, what is that you people want?

    Comment by Anonymous
    10:05 14/03/2014 # ! Neutral (0)


    Comment by Anonymous
    20:51 13/03/2014 # ! Neutral (0)

    uhm,can i ask where does sankaku get those comments from?some japanese blog or..?

    Comment by Anonymous
    11:35 13/03/2014 # ! Neutral (0)

    In my country, its just as bad, if not worse.
    In here, some self-proclaimed "photoshop & internet expert" who does internet pron research all day is now actually a minister of sports...
    so yeah.. i feel you japan..

    Comment by Anonymous
    11:38 13/03/2014 # ! Neutral (0)

    Well... congratulations to him to get his hands on such a super lucrative deal. Well done.

    And poor foreigners who will experience that akb is the best of the best japans music industry has to offer :/

    Comment by Anonymous
    15:18 13/03/2014 # ! Neutral (0)

    Actually, this is probably the reason why I would go and see the Olympics.

    Comment by Anonymous
    09:17 13/03/2014 # ! Neutral (0)

    The Tokyo olympics are going to be a complete joke. Just going to make anyone who doesn't like Japan think they are that much weirder. Whatever, here's to hoping Miku performs!

    Sinceerely yours, a weeaboo

    Avatar of septianyp
    Comment by septianyp
    09:52 13/03/2014 # ! Neutral (0)

    japan aten't creative at all, the olympics are sport event, dude, japan just play entertain THEIR PIG.

    Comment by Anonymous
    10:07 13/03/2014 # ! Neutral (0)

    The Olympics are already national embarrassments with scant relevance to sports. Ever since the French resurrected it.

    Comment by Anonymous
    09:16 13/03/2014 # ! Neutral (0)

    People have a long memory though, if Japans Olympics effort isn't anything short of brilliant, they won't get the Olympics for a very long time. There's an extremely high expectation there, the world will be watching.

    Comment by Anonymous
    11:54 13/03/2014 # ! Neutral (0)


    I was never really a fan of the Olympics, but to watch its lineage tainted by something like AKB48 is going to be pretty depressing.

    Avatar of KingFisher
    Comment by KingFisher
    09:14 13/03/2014 # ! Neutral (0)

    This really is going to turn into a national embarrassment for Japan if they put this guy in charge. What is played during the torch lighting is usually music that symbolizes that country's pride. AKB48 is not the country's pride. This is going to turn into a joke. Japan is just going to embarrass themselves on the world stage. Everything that I've read about when the Olympics was in Japan before was much better. 2020 is going to be an embarrassment.

    Comment by Anonymous
    09:21 13/03/2014 # ! Good (+0.6)

    I wouldn't say that's really true... I mean this is the guy who made AKB48 famous in the first place. And just like AKB48 isn't about music, olympics really aren't about sports either. Doesn't it kinda fit?

    Comment by Anonymous
    10:18 13/03/2014 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    Now it all makes sense!

    Avatar of kintama00
    Comment by kintama00
    09:21 13/03/2014 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    All lies, sluty idols and yakuza are japs pride!

    Comment by Anonymous
    10:57 13/03/2014 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    Slutty idols FTW!

    Comment by Anonymous
    09:23 13/03/2014 # ! Neutral (0)

    Hitomi Tanaka, national treasure of Japan. Record number of guys would watch if she was involved lolol

    Comment by Anonymous
    15:22 13/03/2014 # ! Neutral (0)

    Not an embarrassment. Quite the opposite. But hey, what would you know?

    Comment by Anonymous
    10:00 13/03/2014 # ! Neutral (0)

    Even if it does turn out an embarrassment, at least they can look back to it way in the future and laugh, right? Maybe not...

    Comment by Anonymous
    15:15 13/03/2014 # ! Neutral (0)

    Haters gonna hate.

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