Ex-Japanese PM: English “An Enemy Language”

yoshiro-mori

Japan’s choice of a former PM to head the Tokyo Olympic committee has already borne fruit, after he called English an “enemy language” at the Winter Olympics.

76-year-old Yoshiro Mori – the LDP Prime Minister of Japan from 2000 to 2001 – managed to get himself appointed to head the organizing committee for the 2020 Tokyo Olympics and so was on hand in Sochi for press conference recently.

His attempt to explain away a challenge as to why someone barely conversant in English or any other language had been appointed to organise the world’s largest international sporting event soon upset most of the English and Japanese press in attendance:

“English was an enemy language, so without special study there’s no way my generation would understand a foreign language.”

Reporters in attendance wasted no time in condemning him for “inappropriately” calling English an enemy language, muttering that “he may have passed it off as a joke, but it was far from one.”

Despite being already absolutely notorious for gaffes, sleaze and general incompetence (presumably making him the ideal candidate for managing the Olympics), his remarks still succeeded in inspiring wonder amongst aghast Japanese:

“Just don’t speak!”

“But Mori was born in 1937 and received most of his education after the war had ended…”

“He was 8 when the war ended so it had nothing to do with him being unable to speak English properly.”

“Even as an excuse it is pretty weird.”

“Come on, he was right – it really was the language of an enemy nation.”

“I don’t understand why he could be criticised for stating a historical fact.”

“Because talking about past wars isn’t exactly appropriate for an Olympic venue?”

“Maybe, but why is the advanced age and limited language ability of the organisers appropriate either?”

“This old fool simply cannot keep his foot out of his mouth, can he?”

“Mori is fine to say this. All I see here is the arrogance of the whites!”

“It just hurts my head to think how this guy can come out with this stuff all the time. Anyway, you’d think if it were an enemy language that might be all the more reason to learn it and know thy enemy the better.”

“Blame the foreign reporters for not knowing this!”

“Even now most Japanese can’t actually speak English, so coming up with a weird excuse like this just shows what a fool he is…”

“Why are those hairy barbarians getting so upset about someone speaking a historical fact!”

“I’m a bit worried about them putting someone like this in charge of the Tokyo Olympics – is this going to be OK?”

“What’s wrong with some old Japanese guy not being able to speak English? The reporters were asking him a weird question anyway.”

“You’d think they could have foreseen something like this and picked someone who could manage at least English…”

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