Japanese Christmas Lonelier Than Ever


Fully 70% of Japanese young men now report their Christmases will be spent in (for Japan) untraditional celibate loneliness, and women are scarcely any better of with 58% stuck twiddling their mistletoe in abject solitude.

Christmas in Japan – not a public holiday, mainly a dating event for couples ending at a local love hotel, and so consumerised KFC has the nation booking months in advance for Christmas dinners of its delicious fried chicken – may bear little resemblance to the west’s premier shopping event, but has been steadily growing in popularity all the same.

Despite its reputation as a night for couples however, it seems fewer Japanese than ever actually have anyone to “celebrate” it with – as a restaurant-based survey of 1800 Japanese men and women in their twenties and thirties demonstrated.

Fully 70% of the men and 58% of the women reported they did not even have a partner, with a total of 64.5% of those questioned preparing for a lonely Christmas.

So prevalent is the lonely Christmas amongst young people, that to contrast this against the admittedly already warped notion that it should be spent at a hotel charging hourly rates the media has even taken to cruelly calling them “kuri-bocchi.”

In news perhaps not unrelated, pornhub.com has made news with the claim that whilst traffic from the rest of the world to its pages declines 22% over Christmas, traffic from Japanese actually increases 8% over the same period.

The news has been greeted with glee by the jealous majority who could be forgiven for being sick of hearing the message that they should be amongst the throngs of youthful couples jamming Japan’s public spaces around Christmas:

“‘Kuribocchi’ – who comes up with this nonsense?”

“They just made that up…”

“Come on – I bet this was always the normal way Japanese spent their Christmas anyway!”

“Just a bunch of old guys making up weird terms to push their own objectives on young people.”

“What kind of pubescent chuunibyou actually get excited by Christmas and Valentine’s anyway.”

“They are clearly in the majority so this is the normal way of spending Christmas!”

“Maybe a few bubble brainers spent Christmas splurging but I don’t think many of today’s Japanese are keen to spend money during it.”

“Post-30 you don’t even feel angry about it. Just spend it alone.”

“Please release us from this idiotic event with its Santa and stupid cakes. What are you lot, Christians or something? Christmas, Valentine’s, Halloween, you are just victims of consumerism, stop imitating the customs of the hairy barbarians.”

“Japanese – realise you are being manipulated into celebrating a Christian festival when you are not even Christians! Stop just blindly following what other people do.”

“Brothers, let us go to church and pray on this most holy of days.”

“Well, I’m off out – to a brothel.”

“I thought we were calling this ‘singlebell’… (´・ω・`)?”

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    Avatar of Crazy_O
    Comment by Crazy_O
    00:15 26/12/2013 # ! Quality (+1.0)

    Many of the traditions on christmas have been there before the church transfered the date to the winter solstice.

    The 25th has been a holiday for many even before christmas - so you can celebrate it without being christian.

    Avatar of Dia
    Comment by Dia
    06:13 26/12/2013 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    They celebrate the 24th in Japan. Haven't you heard the old proverb "a 25-year-old woman is like a Christmas Cake" meaning nobody would want her anymore.

    Avatar of Pyrus
    Comment by Pyrus
    16:54 27/12/2013 # ! Neutral (0)

    Correct me if I'm wrong, but I believe you're referring to the mid-winter celebration in honor of Odin, otherwise known as Yule. Christmas trees, yule logs, & fruitcake anyone?

    Avatar of SakeSage
    Comment by SakeSage
    01:00 29/12/2013 # ! Neutral (0)

    Well that maybe where a lot Christmas traditions came from, but the Holiday they ripped off was Saturnalia. It is a gift giving holiday that celebrates the birth of Mithra, the Pagan Christ. He was born from a virgin, died on the cross and he did it before Jesus.

    Comment by Anonymous
    17:07 06/01/2014 # ! Neutral (0)

    I'm impressed the christian church got away without being sued despite copying all that! Nowadays people can't do shit without being sued by 10 giant corporations claiming patents and copyrights on everything from shapes and colors to obvious common sense designs...

    Comment by Anonymous
    21:24 25/12/2013 # ! Quality (+1.0)

    Single bell, single bell, single all the way...

    Avatar of Pyrus
    Comment by Pyrus
    16:56 27/12/2013 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    ...Fapping to the porn you like --
    It's the way to spend the day -- Hey!!

    Comment by Anonymous
    21:57 25/12/2013 # ! Good (+0.8)

    'as a restaurant-based survey'
    man you guys just lap up any old crap as gospel truth dont you.

    Also glad some of the 2channers are at least critical of Japans idiotic following of holidays they dont even understand in their attempts to seem 'cool and western'. Reminds me of how so many Japanese people tell me about the wedding they went to/want to have at the 'big cathedral'. I ask them if they're christian to be having/wanting a wedding at a church and they give me blank stares. And yet they tell me they'd be 'offended' if a westerner did a full traditional Shinto wedding if they weren't Shinto.

    Comment by Anonymous
    22:15 25/12/2013 # ! Good (+0.7)

    Double standards buddy

    Comment by Anonymous
    09:56 26/12/2013 # ! Neutral (0)

    Bah, that "tatemae" and "honne" crap >.>

    Comment by Anonymous
    09:58 26/12/2013 # ! Neutral (0)

    You can try Buddhist wedding here though, we don't mind foreigner doing our Buddhist wedding at all, even if you're not Buddhist.

    The problem is, who would want that thing right? Christian wedding is the best imo, especially those garter belt.

    Comment by Anonymous
    07:47 26/12/2013 # ! Neutral (0)

    What's the problem?

    Almost no one celebrates a holiday because of the reason it was initiated.

    We celebrate holidays because we get days off work/school and/or presents. No one cares about what a holiday is all about.

    Comment by Anonymous
    07:32 26/12/2013 # ! Neutral (0)

    News flash: Christmas stopped being a Christian festival somewhere around the time where the festival stopped being about celebrating Jesus's birth and started being about Santa Claus, presents and pretty lights.

    in their attempts to seem 'cool and western'

    Or maybe they are just enjoying the festivities. You know, just like all the people in the west who are neither Christian, nor Jewish, but still participate.

    Comment by Anonymous
    18:00 26/12/2013 # ! Neutral (0)

    Simple reason, you posed the question wrong, what church are you talking about and what wedding ceremony is it? Just because it's a church doesn't mean it's 'Christian'. However you asked 'full tradtional Shinto', perhaps 'Shinto styled' ceremony would be more comparitative to the bastardised 'church ceremonies' they are talking about.

    Comment by Anonymous

    sasaga nipponjin

    Comment by Anonymous
    13:16 26/12/2013 # ! Neutral (0)

    "sasaga"... lol get out of here weeaboo

    Comment by Anonymous

    Well, it's still better than doing it in a sports stadium...

    Comment by Anonymous

    Or out in an open field with a cow patty toss after, my sister's friend got married like that lol

    Comment by Anonymous
    06:28 26/12/2013 # ! Neutral (0)

    Sounds like something they'd do in Mongolia.

    Avatar of HouseLife
    Comment by HouseLife

    Well, the concept of the wedding is basically Christian, so following the full ritual in the way it kind of traditionally is isn't necessarily strange. Christians have been trying to make marriage something extremely specific, so I guess it makes sense. It's like brand protection in its own way. Christianity is big business.

    Comment by Anonymous
    06:19 26/12/2013 # ! Good (+0.6)

    Concept of wedding is Christian? Egyptians and Chinese had weddings 3000 years before Jebus is born, buddy.

    And Shinto wedding ceremony is nothing like Christian rituals.

    Comment by Anonymous
    07:17 26/12/2013 # ! Neutral (+0.4)

    From what I understood, this version of the wedding is Christian in nature. The cathedral, the white dress, etc. The variations of the union have existed since the dawn of humanity, but this specific version of the ritual was set as a Christian base.

    The concept of modern weddings is part of global culture. Even if some of the elements originated in Christianity, they no longer hold any religious significance, and are just as much Christian, as an atheist proclaiming "oh my god".

    Besides, you explicitly said that:

    the concept of the wedding is basically Christian

    6:19's argument is a valid counter-argument. You can't weasel out of this one.

    Comment by Anonymous
    13:02 26/12/2013 # ! Neutral (0)

    The White Dress was not Christian, but because it was used by the Queen Victoria wedding and everyone else copied her. Before her there was many other popular colours.

    Avatar of HouseLife
    Comment by HouseLife
    16:53 26/12/2013 # ! Neutral (-0.2)

    @ Anon 13:02

    Guess that ironically fits the rest of Christian western history as well. Inheriting concepts around the Victorian era to adapt the original teachings. It is an interesting concept though, my research never really touched on wedding/union history, only the religious history, and the irony of the wedding not being really religious wasn't really something I've ever had to consider before now, so it's more fun than anything else.

    Avatar of HouseLife
    Comment by HouseLife

    That's just a mistake in how I wrote it. Because I'm so used to weddings being one specific way based on western culture, I wrote it simply because I couldn't think of how to write it as a cathedral-based, white-dress-clad, organ-music-playing, church-full-of-friends-and-family wedding, because I didn't know a simple way to describe it specifically without a bunch of words, since I figured the context made sense as to what I was talking about. But you're right, the concept of male/female union is much older, but the modern wedding that involves the elements most western culture accepts as a traditional wedding are mostly Christian. The semantics are just really annoying to dig through.

    Avatar of HouseLife
    Comment by HouseLife

    From what I understood, this version of the wedding is Christian in nature. The cathedral, the white dress, etc. The variations of the union have existed since the dawn of humanity, but this specific version of the ritual was set as a Christian base. Either way it's all semantics, if you love someone, you don't need to prove it to anyone but them :P

    Comment by Anonymous
    10:10 26/12/2013 # ! Neutral (0)

    While I wish you were true, this disease is far more ingrained in the human psyche than one religion.

    But fear not. For the first time ever, we are seeing a cure.

    Comment by Anonymous
    20:52 25/12/2013 # ! Good (+0.8)

    >stop imitating the customs of the hairy barbarians

    10/10 comment from the nips. lol.

    Comment by Anonymous
    21:57 25/12/2013 # ! Quality (+1.0)

    Nips who have no balls to uncensor their porn lol

    Comment by Anonymous
    02:43 26/12/2013 # ! Quality (+1.0)

    Their porn isn't censored, their naughty bits actually do look like that.

    Comment by Anonymous
    16:11 27/12/2013 # ! Neutral (0)


    Avatar of Daniel Park
    Comment by Daniel Park
    03:50 26/12/2013 # ! Neutral (0)


    Comment by Anonymous
    05:29 26/12/2013 # ! Neutral (0)


    Comment by Anonymous

    That's literally fucking sad.

    Comment by Anonymous
    08:21 05/01/2014 # ! Neutral (0)

    I always find it super funny when the Japanese call us "hairy barbarians"... Have they ever watched one of their own adult films?? There is more hair between the two pubic regions of a Japanese couple than I have on my entire body...

    Avatar of Palmtop Tsundere
    Comment by Palmtop Tsundere
    20:41 25/12/2013 # ! Quality (+0.8)

    Christmas should be spent staying up late marathoning you're waifu's anime and keeping a gun in hand to blast away Santa Claus when he tries to break into your house.

    Comment by Anonymous
    22:25 25/12/2013 # ! Quality (+1.0)

    Is 'gun' slang for penis? :/

    Avatar of Palmtop Tsundere
    Comment by Palmtop Tsundere
    23:03 25/12/2013 # ! Quality (+1.0)

    Only if you're a liberal.

    Avatar of aoitoriko
    Comment by aoitoriko
    02:33 26/12/2013 # ! Quality (+0.8)

    "Happiness is a warm gun."

    Comment by Anonymous
    01:17 26/12/2013 # ! Neutral (0)

    This is going in the archive.

    04:34 26/12/2013 # ! Neutral (0)

    Indeed it is also a warm laser cannon or mass driver.

    04:34 26/12/2013 # ! Neutral (0)

    Merry Christmas cat man.

    Comment by Anonymous
    02:31 26/12/2013 # ! Neutral (+0.2)


    I swear to God...

    Comment by Anonymous

    Oh, thank god!. For a second, I thought he was conducting some dark ritual involving shooting Santa, that would me into a waifu's anime.

    Avatar of Kudeh
    Comment by Kudeh

    Just a gun?

    And just one?

    Bitch, when Christmas comes, my home is more militarised than the Korean border.

    Comment by Anonymous
    23:08 25/12/2013 # ! Neutral (0)

    Stop acting black.

    Avatar of HouseLife
    Comment by HouseLife
    03:50 26/12/2013 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    @Merry Kudistmas

    Your use of that after all these years was the best Christmas gift I could have asked for.

    Avatar of HouseLife
    Comment by HouseLife
    12:41 27/12/2013 # ! Neutral (0)

    @ Anon 20:39

    Wut? I'm trying to find something useful in what you said, but all I see is a coward anon who can't form a coherent thought.

    Comment by Anonymous

    You damn hater. You just hate me, because I'm black!!


    Avatar of Kudeh
    Comment by Kudeh
    01:38 26/12/2013 # ! Neutral (-0.2)


    Comment by Anonymous

    LOL you ni99ers and piss skins fuckin hate each other while trying to bitch at the man.

    We love raping the fuck out of another Tawana Brawley.

    Comment by Anonymous

    House LIfe and Kudistan sharing a WHITE CHRISTMAS.

    Share it while you can, butthurt crackers.

    Comment by Anonymous

    30-something oddly un-married House LIfe jerkin it to his imaginary white bitch who has a covert penis while Kudistan jerks it to his mOE-BLOB CUNT who has a trendy ANIMU DICK (after he takes his 30th hit of mescaline) finally cum to terms about themselves.

    They crave the penis that all these shallow cunts didn't have the balls to produce. How dare they.

    Fucking cunts.

    DICK DICK DICK DICK DICK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Now they have it. Face to face. I now pronounce them man and man.

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