Square Enix: Lightning Returns “Better Than Skyrim!”

The team behind Square Enix’s latest Final Fantasy XIII rehash Lightning Returns have revealed the game’s open-world gameplay is intended to “beat Skyrim,” prompting much derision, and have also confirmed the important news that Lightning has officially been augmented to a D cup.

In Famitsu’s latest interview with the Lightning Returns development team, director Motomu Toriyama (famous for removing towns from XIII as “they were too much work“) and “wilderness lead planner” Yui Umeda revealed their intent to make a Skyrim beater:

Umeda: The wilderness is designed with a natural open world style of play in mind.

Toriyama’s first instruction was “beat Skyrim!”

That may be a tall order with the resources on hand, but as this is FF we decided it might be best to approach it by letting you run about on a chocobo.

Also, although there is lots of freedom in the wilderness, there is only one goal but with many paths to accomplishing it.

Thankfully for them the talk soon shifted to the far more important topic of Lightning’s increasing bust size, perhaps illustrating where everyone’s priorities really lie:

Is it true Lightning went from a C cup to a D cup?

Goto: Well, Toriyama told us to make her bigger!

Toriyama: You’re just passing the blame!

Goto: Well, yes, we made her bigger.

That is to say, she was a C until now? She jiggles about a bit now, doesn’t she?

Goto: Yes!

Toriyama: It actually depends on the wear you select. Sort of like supportive underwear.

Suzuki: There’s an unshown costume where she is wearing a sarashi. If it is announced, think of this.

Lightning herself has also been made to moonlight as a Miqo’te of late:

Even Square Enix daring to mention Skyrim, let alone challenge it, is all too much hubris for Japanese gamers it would seem:

“Like they can manage Skyrim.”

“There is no way this can compete with Skyrim as they say.”

“I think they are confusing their ‘open plains’ from XIII with the ‘open world’ of Skyrim.”

“I’d love to see just what part of this game they have deluded themselves into thinking could compete with Skyrim.”

“Skyrim was overrated anyway. It was only really good because you can mod it up.”

“With those comments Umeda is basically saying one small part of the game is somewhat comparable to an open-world RPG.”

“If they were saying this about XV I might think they were serious, but it is obvious they long ago gave up making anything of Lightning Returns.”

“Other than the cuteness of Lightning they really have nothing to beat anyone with.”

“I wish they’d stop dragging out Lightning. She’s not even that appealing a character!”

“These weird host and hostess costumes and odd equipment they are obsessed with are so out of date it is not funny any more! I’m getting truly sick of their mixed medieval high-tech worlds too!”

“The whole game premise is just awful.”

“It will just be another long linear story though.”

“Maybe they could beat Skyrim with the battle system, at least.”

“They could surely beat it in terms of CTDs!”

“Square Enix is hopeless, they long since forgot they could succeed going their own way.”

“Square Enix is just done for.”

“It really says it all that even now they are saying they can compete with Skyrim.”

“It is odd that they are so obsessed with Skyrim at all really.”

“It carried off everything they ever wanted to do, I guess. Now they are just deluding themselves that they can beat it if they try.”

“God knows why they are trying to do this with another continuation of XIII. They shouldn’t even be trying this with the FF brand.”

“This lot probably don’t want to do anything like TES at all. They are just crazy about the way JRPGs have been reduced to a global laughing stock and even Japanese gamers are united in adoration of Skyrim.”

“That’s mostly because you can mod it to the gills though. Japanese game companies would just bitch about copyright or some nonsense and never allow it, so they have no chance there.”

“The fact that it took them this long to even accept just the notion of an open-field in an FF game is proof of just how empty their heads are now.”