“Super Carnivore” Rino Sashihara Wins AKB48 Election



Otaku have elected HKT48’s “super carnivore” Rino Sashihara as their “national idol” in the 5th AKB48 “general election.”

As was widely expected, Sashihara maintained her early lead and won out even over AKB48 proper.

The top 10 election front-runners, including both AKB48 and their various sub-groups for a total pool of 246 girls, which also saw prominent placing for a certain freshly shorn little lamb at 18th place despite having been demoted to trainee as punishment for her sinful fornication:

1. Rino Sashihara – 150570 votes

2. Yuko Oshima – 136503 votes

3. Mayu Watanabe – 101210 votes

4. Yuki Kashiwagi – 96905 votes

5. Mariko Shinoda – 92599 votes

6. Jurina Matsui – 77170 votes

7. Rena Matsui – 73173 votes

8. Minami Takahashi – 68681 votes

9. Haruna Kojima – 67424 votes

10. Sae Miyazawa – 65867 votes

Although the mass media is observing a total blackout on her scandalous background, the fact that otaku would still elect even after their quasi-Wahhabist complaints about any member of the group who is so much as seen in the company of any male non-family member has not escaped comment:

“So having lots of sex is how to win this…”

“Is this the first non-virgin to be elected?”

“Saseko: I screwed my fan and they made me number 1!”

“With a slut elected #1 the thing is pretty much done.”

“I don’t get otaku. Why’d they elect this bitch when they are constantly moaning about them dating?”

“The rest of them just need to start having sex with their fans to gain more votes.”

“Such a complete and total farce!”

“They have made their own general election into a joke with this.”

“Was this a comedy act all along?”

“Sashihara is a can-do idol in all senses of the word – I forgive her!”

“I guess they will restore her to AKB48 now?”

“Leave her in HKT so we can enjoy seeing her fans being upset.”

“What are they going to do next year, they have ruined the whole stupid thing with this.”

“Well, they are already pretty much on their way out.”

“All those creepy otaku who blocked voted this girl to the top have done us a great service by exposing this absurd farce for what it is.”

“So now we’re in an age when a girl who got pics of her sucking off her boyfriend is voted our ‘national idol’.”

“If a sex scandal gets you pumped up to number one they may as well just let them have as much sex as they want now.”

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