KIA: Cops Chase Drunken US Sailor Off Building

A US sailor has died under perplexing circumstances after trying to smash his way into the home of an elderly man from a 6th floor balcony, falling to his death when police arrived for some reason.

Police were called to the 6th floor Yokosuka city apartment of a 77-year-old unemployed man at 2:35AM after he reported “the man who lives above me is trespassing on my balcony.”

The man, identified as 24-year-old seaman second class Alex Spedia, was a US sailor stationed at Fleet Activities Yokosuka, which abuts directly onto downtown Yokosuka, and apparently enjoyed off-base accommodation, occupying the apartment directly above the man.

When police arrived they discovered he had broken the window of the man’s balcony window, and according to police “fell off the building” just after they arrived. The fall proved fatal.

Police say they found a whiskey bottle and other evidence of intoxication in his apartment, and shrewdly surmise that he may have been drunk. The fall itself was witnessed by another resident on the 3rd floor, who reported it as well.

Between drunken rampages, gang rapes and Yokosuka’s surprisingly open attitude to potential Chinese recruits, the USFJ have been experiencing less than favourable press of late – though there is some curiosity amongst Japanese as to just how this latest accident occurred:

“Why the hell did this American want to get into the man’s apartment from the balcony?”

“What on earth was he up to?”

“Now just why would a drunken US sailor want to get into your apartment?”

“He may have fallen onto the balcony on the floor below whilst drunk and tried to get back home via this guy’s apartment, but he wouldn’t let him in. Then he broke his window to get in, but the cops arrived and he got scared and fell off. It sounds like there might have been a problem in how the cops handled it…”

“Please, if you’re a soldier, don’t die falling off someone’s balcony.”

“It’s pretty sick getting lectured about comfort women by people from a country like this.”

“Aren’t these soldiers normally out violating people all day?”

“God, he was going to r**e this poor old man!”

“Related: Stars and Stripes reported 2 US soldiers at Sasebo are under investigation for violating a woman a few weeks ago.”

“They’ll probably have to ban US forces in Japan from drinking as well now…”

“Who is going to pay for this guy’s window? Not the US military I suppose?”

“Surprisingly little reporting on this incident from the press, I wonder why?”

“So he got drunk and just decided to go climbing on his building.”

“I’d be pretty scared if some foreigner appeared on my balcony breaking my window and trying to get in.”

“It’s pretty unexpected that he fell off a balcony like that. Sure the old guy didn’t give a little kick?”

“If he lived above the old guy probably knew of him at least. Can’t help but think some neighbourly grudge was in play, and he got drunk and decided to get the old man? But then it went wrong and the cops showed and he tried to get away but…”

“He went to break into the place below looking for someone to r**e but the old guy called the cops on him, and then he fell off. The end. Life is sweet!”

“US soldiers make really aggressive drunks for some reason, don’t they?”

“They seem to keep breaking into people’s houses as well.”

“US soldiers are total scum aren’t they? Violatingpeople and breaking into houses, why don’t you fuck off and do it in the filthy slums of your own country?”

“It used to be that you’d get a lot of people rushing to defend US soldiers when they did this stuff, not so much any more. People saying it was the fault of the women, that sort of thing. I guess even they reached their breaking point.”

“Was he not engaged in an urban combat exercise?”

“What is it with US soldiers and balconies?”

“Come on guys. Instead of moaning about him being drunk and bothering an old man, show some sympathy for this poor foreigner who died in a faraway land like this.”

“Sure. He was only 24 too, sad.”

“I’m from Yokosuka. There used to be a big red light district there, with bars which wouldn’t serve Japanese where they could get a woman any time. When they abandoned $1:¥360 exchange rates, they became relatively poor, and when I think of this guy drinking away in his room like that, and then falling drunk to his death, it’s so sad.”

“It was their decision, so I can’t help but think it is their responsibility.”

“Soldiers should die on the battlefield.”

“The curtains draws on 24 years of life for this trash.”

“Come on. I think he was going to do this old guy over, why else be so scared that he fell off the building when the cops showed up and he tried to run? You guys would not be saying the same stuff if this was a Korean.”

“He knew Japanese have no guns, so he thought it would be easy!”

“Just be thankful the guy didn’t blow him away. That’s all that would have happened in the states.”

“I don’t see why they have to let these guys off their bases in the first place. They already have their own bars and shops in there.”

“Keep them on their bases. And especially, don’t let them live off-base in private residences!”

“If he’d only had access to prostitutes he might have been able to relieve his stress some other way and this never would have happened…”

“Another sacrifice which could have been averted had the US forces just allowed their men prostitutes!”