30% of Japanese Men “Have Never Even Dated”


Findings that 30% of Japanese men surveyed report never having dated anyone in their entire lives have been causing consternation (and some relief) online.

A survey of the dating habits of some 3,600 Japanese aged 20-49 generated a variety of findings – most attention has focused on the finding that a steady 30% of both single twenty and thirty-something men have never dated anyone, suggesting a substantial proportion of Japanese are destined to eternal virginity.


In contrast, the number of women having no dating history halved in the same ages, and they reported dating significantly more men than men did women.

The minimum incomes single Japanese women deemed acceptable for a marriage-worth man are as usual the subject of much derisive scrutiny:


In this case 30%-35% expected a salary of 4 to 5 million yen, and only 12% would accept less than 3 million.

The contrast between these demands and the average wages of a Japanese salaryman may explain much about Japan’s dismal marriage rates – the average salary for a man in his early twenties is 2.6 million, whilst in his late twenties it rise to 3.7 million and 4.3 million in his early thirties.

Although relatively realistic, with these being single women and the averages including married men the mismatch of supply and demand may be understated.

The contrast between the numbers of men and women in their twenties and thirties who met through formal dating or marriage counselling events has also been attracting attention:


It also revealed how most people with actual partners met – 30% of both men and women met at work, followed by some 20% via a friend’s introduction and less than 10% over the Internet.

2%-3% of those in their thirties used them to secure a partner, but only 0%-0.4% of those in their twenties reported similar experiences, suggesting not only that these services are of questionable utility, but also that they are either the last resort of the desperate or shunned by the younger crowd.

As usual there is some reasonable suspicion that the online masses are well positioned to provide expert commentary on the topic of never having dated:


“I’ve never met a guy like that in real life though.”

“Please, even if you’re ugly, date me!”

“What’s the point of living if you are a lifelong virgin.”

“It’s simple. Making a move is too troublesome, and the other side definitely won’t, so no dating ever happens.”

“The proportion of passive, womanly men has really increased, so it’s not surprising.”

“Not really surprising since all the risk is piled on the man.”

“30% really seems a lot!”

“Once you are a wizard there is no going back.”

“You people need to date.”

“If you want to hold hands with a young girl, there are those handshaking events to go to. That could explain the 30%.”

“It seems a lot, even if these are personal statements…”

“It’s an obvious finding. Someone in their twenties with no job will not be able to get one in their thirties. Someone in their twenties who never dates will not have the experience to date properly in their thirties either. If you want to date in your thirties, you are expected to have experience just like at a job in your thirties. They expect more experience as you get older, too.”

“Honestly, if you compromise and end up with some awful woman you’ll regret it more than remaining single. No matter how thirsty you get, don’t drink sewage.”

“It all makes sense. At 30 you have to start thinking about marriage. This is asking a lot from someone with no experience dating. Women don’t face the same hurdles and just keep gaining experience though.”

“If you’re in your thirties and have never dated you’re a cripple of sorts. The thinking causing that condition will be deeply rooted by then.”

“Well, I for one find these findings quite reassuring!”

“Don’t be reassured by them! Although I was too, it has to be said…”

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    Comment by Anonymous
    13:12 03/04/2013 # ! Quality (+1.0)

    30% of men have their wallets full.

    Avatar of Wierd Guy
    Comment by Wierd Guy
    11:04 03/04/2013 # ! Quality (+1.0)

    I never dated and i'm a wizard in training, 2D>3D

    Comment by Anonymous
    12:59 03/04/2013 # ! Neutral (+0.4)

    I hate to say it, but it's thoughts like this that actually hurt our 2D hobbies, friend. If it's true that the awesomeness of 2D is making men have expectations that real women cannot meet, it WILL eventually be found as unhealthy and give opponents of our hobbies more legitimate ammo to fight them with.

    I hate to think it's true, that my fellow anime/manga/game fans are renouncing real women completely for 2D ones. There's nothing wrong with loving 2D but please keep fighting!

    Avatar of Chen-04
    Comment by Chen-04
    19:43 03/04/2013 # ! Neutral (0)

    Why? What for?

    Comment by Anonymous
    05:49 04/04/2013 # ! Neutral (+0.4)

    I read this manga once about a hikkikomori that was happy in his room living in his own world and detached from humanity. I forgot the name but it was by the mangaka who created the manga called "Hen". Every 2D>3D person here should read it, then they'll understand. It's a brilliant and sad story but ending with optimism.. I wish they'd make it into an anime film. My favorite scene is when the girl who cares for him gives him a puppy when (I think) he opens his door for food, and the sensation of touching another living creature after so long drives him to tears.

    Comment by Anonymous
    11:13 05/04/2013 # ! Neutral (0)

    @ Chen - he doesn't give a shit about the girl at first, and it's not about that anyways. I brought up the point about interaction with another living being. It's about why you shouldn't give up the fight.

    Or maybe I'm saying that Hikikkomori should at least get pets, lol.

    Comment by Anonymous
    12:01 05/04/2013 # ! Neutral (0)

    You're wasting your time with people like Chen. The only validation they can find for their existence is to believe that they are part of a growing group and not just a bunch of fringe patheticos. Just ignore him.

    Comment by Anonymous
    01:01 31/12/2015 # ! Neutral (0)

    I know that manga, it was by the same author who did Gantz. But it was depressing and left me feeling quite empty, certainly not for everyone.

    Comment by Anonymous
    14:03 04/04/2013 # ! Neutral (0)

    @11:44 - yes, that's it! Thanks, now I'm starting to read it again after checking to make sure it was the same one XD

    Comment by Anonymous
    15:25 04/04/2013 # ! Neutral (0)

    are you talking about Me~teru no Kimochi? great manga.

    Comment by Anonymous
    11:44 04/04/2013 # ! Neutral (0)

    You are talking about Meteru no Kimochi.
    I liked too.

    Comment by Anonymous
    15:32 04/04/2013 # ! Neutral (0)

    @11:44 and 15:25 - yes, that's it! Thanks, now I'm starting to read it again after checking to make sure it was the same one.. lol

    Comment by Anonymous
    15:33 04/04/2013 # ! Neutral (0)

    @11:44 and 15:25 - yes, that's it!

    Avatar of Chen-04
    Comment by Chen-04
    18:41 04/04/2013 # ! Neutral (0)

    In this story however, there is a girl caring for him (?) and waiting at his door (?)... what has that to to with keeping up a fight? It's not like I would dump real girls over 2D ones, it's just that I don't even know any real girls.

    Comment by Anonymous
    22:14 05/04/2013 # ! Neutral (0)

    me neither wizardfist!

    Comment by Anonymous

    Wizards do magic. Making women regurgitate by your mere presence isn't really magical.

    Avatar of MARl0
    Comment by MARl0
    08:22 03/04/2013 # ! Quality (+1.0)

    If I lived in Japan, I'd be part of that statistic...

    Comment by Anonymous
    08:35 03/04/2013 # ! Good (+0.8)

    I've been to Japan on several occasions mostly when i was younger do to my father's job. So we'd end up staying for months on end and let me tell it's a whole different monster then the states. First off, everyone is extremely rude over there. Either by shoving each over out of the way to get on a subway or to get that 'last sale item' at the local supermarket or store. (Though i stand at 6'4, so most were too scared to give me much crap.) Also the woman are rather shallow. For some reason a lot of them thought i was rich and would flawk around me trying to get my attention. (And yes i know the difference between genuine interest and shallow greed.)

    So do yourself a favor unless you really, really want to attend one of those anime-cons. Don't bother trying to get over there.

    Comment by Anonymous
    09:04 03/04/2013 # ! Quality (+1.0)

    You shove somebody here in the states, shit hits the fan real quick.

    You shove other people in japan, they just sit there and take it.

    People are polite and/or rude for a very simple reason.

    Comment by Anonymous
    09:22 03/04/2013 # ! Good (+0.6)

    Not sure about them being 'incredibly' rude. I've not been to Tokyo but I was there for multiple years through the us military( no money). I'm 5'8 and got what I thought was the scared look...turns out they were trying to look cute with big eyes! It stopped me from doing approaches until I realized that.
    Really, though, they are just shy of foreigners.
    Last time I was there, I had girls approaching me(I'm avg and broke).
    Go figure.. It's probably changing for the better, socially. You just gotta be out there and be approachable which is more than I can say for a lot of Japanese guys.

    Comment by Anonymous
    16:02 03/04/2013 # ! Good (+0.8)

    Huh, can't argue with your personal experience, but I've been there multiple times and everyone was damn courteous.

    Comment by Anonymous
    10:31 05/04/2013 # ! Neutral (0)

    Thanks for your opinion, 12 years old brat :)

    Comment by Anonymous
    20:35 03/04/2013 # ! Neutral (0)

    Well, you know, there are quite a few people in Japan. I'm sure the kind of people you meet depends on the specific area you're at.

    Comment by Anonymous
    10:29 03/04/2013 # ! Neutral (0)

    What people need here is an experience from a Japanese man living in Japan as of the moment. It's not that I hate your story or anything but you can get a general idea of what it is living in Japan from a native person there. I'm Chinese and have a really Asian face but Japan have tons of shit against us, we don't have the "foreigner" look as some have said.

    Comment by Anonymous


    They are just pussies who are rude to people they think they can get away with. Japanese are just a bunch of 12 year old brats hiding behind a lot of mouth. You shouldn't worry too much though - the days of japanese looking down its nose at rest of east asia is over. It was never really anything but hot air anyway to begin with.

    Comment by Anonymous
    05:04 04/04/2013 # ! Neutral (0)

    Man you're freaking tall, envy, envy.
    BTW, in Japan, when you're already 30 and still a virgin, you will become a Wizard!

    Comment by Anonymous
    22:17 05/04/2013 # ! Neutral (0)

    lulz, you know, grown ups see life differently so go to Jp in few years when you hit puberty and it will be whole different country than you remember.

    Comment by Anonymous

    Should have showed those whores the pork sword & fake contact info.

    Comment by Anonymous

    That's simple: in Japan, tall means rich. 6'4" would be tall even in northern Europe.

    For a guy, tall also means "big cock". Which is what the ladies are after, as much as men like a nice ass and/or pair of titties.

    They're no less venal than every other mundane, is what I'm saying.

    Comment by Anonymous

    Downvotes prove insecure dwarves hate reality.

    Cry more.

    Comment by Anonymous
    08:12 04/04/2013 # ! Neutral (0)

    Do not need to live in Japan but I am in a part of similar statistic....

    Comment by Anonymous
    19:13 03/04/2013 # ! Neutral (0)

    That's some really awesome positive thinking...

    Comment by Anonymous
    11:52 03/04/2013 # ! Drivel (-1.0)

    If I lived in Japan I'd get all the hotties. Alas I'm married with children and am not part of the desperate crowd. Enjoy your tissues, faggets.

    Comment by Anonymous
    14:45 03/04/2013 # ! Quality (+1.0)

    and yet you are on sankaku sigh i pity your family.

    Comment by Anonymous
    19:59 03/04/2013 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    Cannot even spell faggots. HILARIOUS GOOD SIR.

    Comment by Anonymous
    14:17 03/04/2013 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    I'm sorry?

    It's not like everybody without a partner is desperate. I have one now, didn't have one years ago yet I was never "desperate".

    Besides, it's not like marriage (in the traditional goes-to-church american sense) is a sea of roses.

    And "faggets" was just what a 12 year old would call everyone.

    Avatar of Xypher
    Comment by Xypher
    08:15 03/04/2013 # ! Quality (+1.0)

    "No matter how thirsty you get, don’t drink sewage." More and more people are coming to realize 2D will always be superior to 3D.

    Comment by Anonymous
    09:37 03/04/2013 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    If you don't drink anything, you die.

    Comment by Anonymous
    09:51 03/04/2013 # ! Quality (+1.0)

    if you drink sewage you die a more painful death due to bacteria and stuff

    Comment by Anonymous
    15:39 03/04/2013 # ! Quality (+1.0)

    >Parasites eat away your soul

    Avatar of Powerpuff Loli
    Comment by Powerpuff Loli
    12:19 03/04/2013 # ! Quality (+0.8)

    Because sewage is full of dirty parasites who will slowly eat away your body and soul. Sound familiar?

    Comment by Anonymous
    12:05 05/04/2013 # ! Neutral (0)

    Then why are you trying to serve us sewage?

    Comment by Anonymous
    20:41 03/04/2013 # ! Neutral (0)

    Powerpuff girl are made from toilet material, if I am not mistaken..

    Comment by Anonymous
    09:50 03/04/2013 # ! Neutral (+0.4)

    That only applies to women there... Once they reach their 30's, they are staled goods. If they have no work skills to fall back on, they are pretty much stuck.

    Avatar of RizuRizuzu
    Comment by RizuRizuzu
    01:54 04/04/2013 # ! Neutral (0)

    Is that really true?
    I mean, I've been to Japan a few times. Granted, I'm only 23, but many of my Japanese girlfriends are 27-28. They got PLENTY of attention from men when we went out. So I don't know about the whole Christmas cake theory..

    Avatar of Carl
    Comment by Carl
    01:16 06/04/2013 # ! Neutral (0)

    samples are biased then, but it is true there's stigma asociated with an older woman thee, not sure of these days when old prejudices are bieing overturned

    Comment by Anonymous
    16:46 04/04/2013 # ! Neutral (0)

    Ok, there we have a case of total hikikomorism.
    Well done playing Kisaku or whatever you played

    Comment by Anonymous
    14:59 05/04/2013 # ! Neutral (0)

    People die when they are killed.

    Avatar of Erranty
    Comment by Erranty
    12:20 03/04/2013 # ! Neutral (0)

    Bear Grylls. And that's all I have to say about that.

    Comment by Anonymous
    13:52 03/04/2013 # ! Neutral (0)

    "Drinking your own urine" is a euphemism that is both shitty AND funny.

    Comment by Anonymous
    12:06 03/04/2013 # ! Neutral (0)

    is that 5 mil per month ?

    Comment by Anonymous
    10:49 09/04/2013 # ! Neutral (0)

    Of course not.

    Comment by Anonymous
    07:01 04/04/2013 # ! Neutral (0)

    Even if you prefer 3D why would you date to have sex.

    When you date and marry you pay a lot ahead and keep paying a lot to have sex of an ever decreasing quality. it is much better to pay on demand for fresh and young sex.

    Comment by Anonymous
    09:02 04/04/2013 # ! Neutral (0)

    I like you. You say funny nonsense.

    Comment by Anonymous
    11:03 04/04/2013 # ! Neutral (0)

    ...yes, "superior" is a nice way to see it... Or less painful, at least.

    Comment by Anonymous
    20:45 04/04/2013 # ! Neutral (0)

    is okay dont let the japanese reproduce, will be a good for the world only save the mangakas lol

    Comment by Anonymous
    20:41 03/04/2013 # ! Neutral (0)

    I think 2D tends to be better because authors go to great lengths to add depth and personality to characters. In reality, people are just shallow, selfish, stupid assholes.

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