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“The Worst Things To Find In The Opposite Sex’s Room”


The endless scope for disappointment, despair and disgust on entering the room of a promising conquest for the first time is yet again the subject of much discussion.

The most depressing things to encounter in the room of a member of the opposite sex:

They have piles of garbage bags…

Did they miss collection day, or is throwing this stuff away too much of a hassle? They smell and attract bugs, so it’s best to get rid of them – a consideration not just limited to the opposite sex.

There is hair all over their carpet and floor…

You soon end up wondering if they clean up at all when you see this. And especially if someone of the opposite sex is coming over, it’s all the more noticeable. Hair comes off easily by just rubbing the carpet whilst wearing rubber gloves, so do try to get rid of it.

They have bug traps and pesticides out…

You can be forgiven for wondering if they have a vermin problem if you see these. They are certainly proof of an unsanitary environment.

They have a stockpile of instant foodstuffs.

Even if they are for emergencies, having instant food piled up in the room is a major mood killer. Whether they are taking care of their health or have any money are also obvious from this, so at least put them away somewhere.

There is something missing you can’t quite see…

Blocked drains, wet patches, no sign of a gift you gave them, pictures of the two of you, etc – if there is no sign of your even knowing this person in their room it can be depressing.

As usual this rather polite list is prompting some concern amongst those least likely to have trouble with the opposite sex in their rooms:

“Religious literature is the worst…”

“Even if you are the same sex that is pretty shocking to see.”

“Actually the whole list is pretty shocking even if you are the same sex!”




“Pubic hair.”



“A full tower PC.”

“Loli ero-manga.”

“A desktop PC with lots of external HDD…”

“Car tyres or wheels, surely.”

“My wife!”

“Damn you – what’s wrong with having a stock of instant ramen!”

“Bottles of urine, collections of nail clippings, skin and bodily hair – I have actually encountered all these. But the worst was a collection of stuffed small animals.”

“Why do Tenga have to be so flashy?”

“They are supposed to be ornamental, right?”

“A really cute girl is coming to my room tonight. I have none of the stuff mentioned here, but what should I prepare? We’re both single students…”

“Pictures of your mother.”

“A guitar.”


“Tea and cakes.”

“Going to a guy’s place and having him bring out cakes for you seems wrong. Try takoyaki instead?”

“A video camera?”

“The Game of Life.”

“That is a good one…”

“A serious one – go to a cinema and get their movie leaflets, then leave them out somewhere visible. If she notices them, you can turn it into a date at the movies.”

“Somebody called me out on the roach poison one once…”

“Since when does anyone of the opposite sex come to our rooms!?”

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