Not Again: 1000 Watch as Chinese Cops Rescue Sex Doll
- Categories: International, News
- Date: Jul 15, 2012 13:27 JST
- Tags: Accidents, Bizarre, China, Dutch Wife, Police, Shandong
Chinese police have been humiliated after 18 of their finest spent close to an hour recovering what turned out to be a discarded sex toy.
Shangdong police were alerted to the discovery of a body floating in one of the province’s many beautiful rivers, and soon 18 officers were on scene to recover it.
As they struggled to catch the “corpse” and bring it to shore, spectators soon gathered and before long major congestion ensued, preventing fire fighters from reaching the scene to assist.
In front of a thousand or so onlookers, after 40 minutes police finally succeeded in recovering the cadaver, only to confirm it was actually an inflatable sex toy.
In order to deflect further ridicule, suspicion or controversy, the police showed the “body” to the public and then “evacuated” the area.
Chinese fed up with the ridicule this and the recent discovery of a “mysterious mushroom” is attracting can at least take solace in the fact Japanese police also once launched a major operation along similar lines…
| 
Temptress Wives – “Older Women Are Better!”
“Is It Really Emi!?” – Amateur Selection Guide 07
Zero Time Dilemma Merrily Murderous
Maki Nishikino’s Birthday Widely Welcomed
Caligula Schools Viewers
Sailor Moon Exhibit Brimming With Nostalgia
Svelte Saber Alter Figure
Onizushi Web Anime & Smartphone Game Surfaces
Marshmallow Imouto Succubus Hits The Beach
Bishoujo Mangekyou Fan Translation Emerges
Samurai Rising – Square Enix: You Guessed it!
Mangaka Pay Tribute to Kyushu
Street Fighter V Enlists Guile
Chinese Death Simulator “Hopefully Won’t Explode”
Re:Zero “In The Nick Of Time!”
Muma Astacia Sultry Succubus Ero-Figure
Hundred Sloppy Kissing Anime
Greek Woman “Born Without A Vagina!”
Let It Die Trailer Unforgettably Fierce
Shinjuku Station Reveals “All Yu-Gi-Oh Cards Ever!”
Kashiwazaki Sena Ero-Cosplay An Immense Tease
Goddess of 2ch: “What A Cute Hole!”
Alice Margatroid Ero-Cosplay by Hiyo Nishizuku Full of Cheer
Sheryl Nome Bunny Girl Cosplay by Mike Super Scandalous
Marvelous Madoka Mizugi Cosplay by Mashiro Yuki
Marie Rose Cosplay by Mike Undeniably Sexy
Tasha Tracer Cosplay Truly Tantalizing
Witch Craft Works Cosplay by Kagune Intensely Seductive
Kaine Cosplay by Yuricha Flawless
Kasumigaoka Utaha Cosplay Pretty Pure
Looking forward to the new sex toy recipe. I going with the slutsicle.
Ok at least this time it's somewhat understandable, you see feet, hands and a head floating on a river you call the cops, but one hour is far more time than what 18 (supposedly) trained officers should take to figure out that it was not a real body.
At least they're not claiming to be a magical legendary drowned fairy or some shit like they did with the mushroom right? right?!
I'm sure it exploded on its way to the police station
If they had tried to revive it after the rescue, then people could make fun of them.
Even if they figured it out early they would (like any cop) be required to "rescue" it.
If they thought it was a real body until they got it to shore then ya that is sad.
And then it exploded.
seems like at already exploded
It also seems they are stopping the production of the exploding sex toys "magical mushrooms & inflatable corpses"
You know... Apple products are made in China... So if you use a mac, it's a ticking time bomb.
Oh, and regular PC parts aren't? By the way, I'm not a Mac fanboy, but just someone who's sick of you guys having a BLAST (HAHAHAHAH SO FUNNY) with the explosion "jokes".
Get over it, it used to be funny for a while, but it seems like you guys will never get tired of it.
well someone is mad and is about to... BLOW their heads up. ;)
Whatever, iMad fanboi.
Well you could atleast try to understand him, ignorance won't bring anything better.
Most macs are PC hardware with a DRM dildo to prevent non-macfags from running OSX. So, while we both have Chinese explosives, your costs 3x as much.
Shit. I have a Lenovo. I'm FUCKED.
I think my computer chair is made from China. Better save up to get new butt implants!
still worth it!
Apple products have already exploded before.
What was it? FoxConn? or something like that? yeah, bad choice there, Apple...
hahah
Did the cops proceed to have a licentious sex orgy with the doll after the rescue?
No, they would if it were in japan.
Hey! Its a white woman sex doll... if it was Chinese, they wouldn't have bothered.
Imploded!
So the cops "abandoned" the body on the ground after evacuating. Afterwards, some of the onlookers proceeded to perform a bukkake session on the doll, correct?
no no, this is not japan
Scary! REALLY scary!
Well, it is interesting that nobody had mentioned that the cops were actually trying to save someone. Im impressed by the Chinese cops this time. Too bad those cops I've met are either lazy uselss people or ass holes.
Yea but any moron with binoculars probably would have been able to figure out what was up.
they tried, the binoculars exploded on their faces
It would be interesting to see what the requirements are with regards to anything that remotely looks like a body in the US.
While it is embarrassing it might also be required that they save it.
"It doesn't look real" I don't think would cut it.
Here in New York, cops just let the floaters go down East River undisturbed...
reminds me of the "baby corpse" in the trash that was a half-eaten burrito in reality xD
Well, they maybe stupid but their desire to protect civilian should be taken as example..
Call 199 and get told to call a taxi...
Yeah, I hope they won't get any hesitation upon a distress call just because this one time was a false alarm.
Prank calls and misconceptions happen, but as servicemen paid for by taxpayers' money to look after civilians, it's their responsibility to respond to any request for help.
If anything, they are proving themselves to be in top shape, seeing that they got it done in 40 minutes despite blockade from onlookers.
Unlike japanese cops....
I was about to say "At least it didn't explode" but it seems to have done so...
But I will say no ill of Vely HonoLable Cathay PoRice... Bows... They try VeLy haLd tu save someone/recover body for honLable BuLial... VeLy Duty good...
I have a good idea for another "Slave made good flom Amiable Venelable Cathay"...
Make a large rubber, perhaps inflatable for easier shipping "My Little Pony" knock off that 90% Fluttershy... So it's a toy for the toy store so the little girl and nerdy adult can have their near rideable size (for the girl) pony toy. BUT she's also a "Novelty Adult" toy, and has a working artificial vagina... Try to use some decent flesh latex there....
The cool thing is the only difference is packaging.
A. Has crude vector Kid art, goes to toy stores.
B. Has similar crude vector art, hints at what the lil beastie is for, goes to Adult Novelty market...
So we'd have a cute little girl in a bathing suit on a beach riding her little pony in the water and her friends are all so thrilled and want one too... And the owner of the property is freaking out for the stolen/not realized market... A few lonely/warped guys are really fighting not to stare too hard...
And someone points out it's other market... And people start to notice the "Hole"....
So it's "Daughter! You won't take that to school anymore... And give her to me, it's a bad toy!"
Daughter: "No! Mommy! It was my birthday and you let me pick her out at the toy store! If you take Fluttershy I'm going to be one of those dark haired goth girls who smokes pot, gets Fs and cuts herself!!!"
Then Mom and Dad back away but talk to a friend who knows a friend who know about fixing/mending/making plastic and they briefly take the pony away to get "Spayed"...
Oh, yeah, and though FlutterShy is my fav, it could look like Rainbow Dash or Twilight Sparkle, etc...
1204903 on the Chan...
But neat dual market rubber toy for both kid market and adult novelty... Just add the order and put it in the merchandise crates. Could be real speculation or could be a hacker's prank, no?
If it was speculation, well it'd sell decent for a while, then leak it to the media if no one's noticed. Then have the excess stock held back to sell on Ebay for collectors and lonely "Bronies"...
The least they could have done would have been cpr and mouth to mouth re-inflation to give the doll one last chance to live! The Humananity to just leave it laying there after all that flat without any balloon squeeze air flowing through its body.
Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha!!
Ah, I needed that laugh.
who is the guy who's dropping his sexual toy on the river? XD!
Aquaman did It
On the bright side, nobody was hurt.
Except maybe the officers' pride. :P
In order to deflect further ridicule, suspicion or controversy, the police showed the “body” to the public and then “evacuated” the area.
The police were uhh yah lets run
"Get out of there, it's gonna blow !!"
that's what they said.
Will they cook it this time?
They clearly "evacuated" because they knew
once they put it on dry land, they only had moments before it explodes.
kinda ridiculous but at least they DID something ...
Someone got screwed in this situation... and it wasn't the doll!
Well, maybe it too.
The mysterious mushroom came from the sex doll.
Ah man, that poor doll.. why did he have to discard her like that.