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Shoko-tan: “I Want a Macho Boyfriend who Loves Pussy!”

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Net idol Shoko-tan has been celebrating her 10th year of minor stardom with a live performance and some topless posing, revealing that she wants to quit her hikikomori lifestyle and is desperate for a pussy-loving boyfriend who will put up with her doing nothing but watching anime all day…

Although music appears to be her main focus of late, she has also launched her own “pink” curry, endorsed a cat-food line, and, perhaps most importantly to her fans, been busy posing in her underwear (though technically she is modelling them):

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Her fans can be forgiven for noticing all these pictures obligingly crop out her notoriously short little legs…

Her curry:

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At her anniversary concert, Shoko-tan – now in her dotage at the venerable age of 27 – reminisced about the merely middle-aged Shoko Nakagawa of ten years prior:

“I was pretty negative ten years ago. I had just come down with gastroenteritis from my first swimwear photo shoot… putting out a CD was just a dream.

I really should break out of this passionless decade I’ve had, and leave being a hikikomori behind. Is my objective to find a lover? So it is.”

Her ideal man:

“A macho guy who loves cats and won’t get annoyed by me doing nothing but watching anime all day long. If he were an anime character, he’d have long blonde hair and I wouldn’t much care about anything else. Or perhaps he’d be injured, that’d be pretty moe, wouldn’t it?”

Despite this, she is adamant she does actually have an interest in 3D males:

“Maybe that’s no good… I’m not saying I’m frightened of 3D, I’ll keep trying!”

There is a certain amount of scepticism online as to whether she has really spent the last 10 years without a boyfriend, or male companions of equivalent distinction:

“She’s going to be single for the rest of her life.”

“A short-legged old otaku hag like this? Beggars can’t be choosers.”

“She might as well just say ‘I want a hot guy’…”

“Isn’t she just a fool?”

“One of you guys marry the poor girl and have some kids with her.”

“I bet she has had a mountain of sex friends over the last 10 years if she really hasn’t had  a boyfriend.”

“She might make an interesting chum but I don’t think marrying her would be a good idea.”

“She described me perfectly, although I am unemployed.”

“Poor Mamitasu:”

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“Isn’t that animal cruelty!?”

“I worry about what will happen to her when Mamitasu dies. Cats don’t live that long.”

“You know what they say about pussy-eating women…”

“I doubt any real cat loving man could put up with how she treats her cat!”

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