The winners to the 7th otaku haiku awards have been announced, with thousands of dollars of cash prizes rewarding those best able to capture the ennui of otaku life in 5-7-5 haiku verse. Sankaku Complex has humbly endeavoured to provide such crude translations of their poetic elegance as are possible in a mere barbarian tongue.
The “godliness prize” (grand prize) winner, winning ¥100,000, and with winners determined by user voting:
From the first son on
Each of them turn to 2D
3D home ruined
The 2nd and 3rd place “genius prize” winners each get ¥50,000.
Second:
Thirty-nine years old
Without money, without wife
Without any hurry
Third:
The girl who I like
Without any struggle for her
We talk together
Entries four through eight each get ¥10,000 prizes. The fourth entry, an onomatopoeic representation of “otaku laughter,” attraced much attention, though it is completely untranslatable, and, as might be expected, some of the runners-up were similarly abstruse.
Other highlights:
Sixth (Sagawa is the name of a delivery company):
Today yet again
The man from Sagawa comes
Telling me to sign
Ninth:
She is now my wife
So the author must now be
My father-in-law
And by way of an omake, the ¥50,000 2D and 3D nekomimi character audition prizes:
Sankaku Complex’s contribution:
Otaku haiku
Most lonely of pursuits yet
The harshest of truths
Gate Monstrously Chaotic
Tekken 7: Fated Retribution Trailer A Total Knock Out
Valkyria Chronicles Remaster Gunplay PV
Sankaku App 1.6: Intents & Users
Top 20 Winter 2016 Anime You’ll Keep Watching
Uppers PV Dives Headfirst
Subarashii Sekai Jokes Abound
Musaigen no Phantom World Full of Cute Girls
Bullet Girls 2 PV Unsurprisingly Naughty
Bashful Homura Figure
To Love-Ru Darkness Tentacle Troubles Abound
Mangaka Celebrate Twintails Day
Hoppa Hentai Vaginar Virgin Red Sentai Parody Onahole
Taimanin Yukikaze “Lowest of the Low!”
Yandere Simulator Gets Personal
Naruto SUN Storm 4 OP Endlessly Energetic
Saijaku Muhai no Bahamut Hardly Draconic
Splatoon Squid Sisters Invade NicoNico Tokaigi 2016
Top 9 Anime of 2015, According to IGN
Rena Momozono’s Hot Hardcore F***ing Eloquently Titled
Carnivore Taiga Cosplay Too Cute For Words
Alluring Ahri Cosplay Magically Charming
Tsukihi Araragi BDSM Ero-Cosplay by Komugi Platinum Sexy
Goddess of Twitter “Pink & Perky!”
Serene Horo Cosplay Pure Gold
Iona Ero-Cosplay by Komugi Taking on Water
Cute Kashima Cosplay Full of Elegance
Umaru Ero-Cosplay by Asami Hamsterific
Goddess of 2ch: “Pink & Soft All The Way!”
Kuroneko Cosplay by Mikehouse Full of Life
Flawless complexion,
curves, supple ass, perfect tits,
Plastic never sags.
Haikus are easy,
but sometimes they don't make sense.
Refrigerator.
I, the explorer,
I took an arrow on knees.
By Alduin's Wrath.
it dies. you level.
Kissed the girl I like,
She Is actually gonna marry someone else
Did this BEFORE and AFTER he proposed to her.
It's complicated.
I do no Haiku
But here I am, thinking out
My little tenses
3D is my vice
2D is my wife
My nickname is hairy palms
Dark future,
Bright screen,
Such is an Otaku's life
guys, a haiku isn't just a three line poem -.- lrn2literature
Haikus must contain
mention of seasons' qualities
chilly spring sunrise!
Five syllables first
And then seven syllables
Five more syllables
It's that easy.
Those aren't haiku. They're senryu.
How do I haiku
I don't know what I'm doing
Mogami-gawa
Oh my fucking God, thank you so much. Just lol'd so hard. Mogami-gawa, indeed. XD
woot~ somebody gets it :)
I don't get the
third one, it doesn't
belong there.
Oh you don't get it?
Go rewatch Nichijou
and pay attention
I felt the Ninth one was the best.
i have a feeling the first one got Lost in Translation.
Yeah. The first one is like
From the first child on (first dimension)
Reach out to second dimension
Household is a disaster (third dimension)
With the pronunciations of first and third dimensions being homophones for first child and disaster, respectively.
So, getting the first and third dimensions in there playing off the explicitly written second dimension is what makes it good. Artefact is not kidding when he says it cannot be translated into barbarian tongues. =P
The second one is similar, with thirty nine years old having the second meaning of "triple handicap" or "three times the suffering".
All good haiku in Japanese are like this, and the ones in English just miss the point...
Not very good at it but I'll attempt a more literal translation, hopefully it will be closer to the original expression.
One/first son/child onwards
2D to the hand
Family matter tragic matter
I don't get the ninth one.
it means his wife is a 2d...
It doesn't matter if you get it or not. If he's happy, it has no relation to your life. Move on
have you heard of onahole? yes, now u can have sex with any 2D, even 3D if you get a good picture on your screen
I don't understand how a man can marry a 2d character. The act of marriage must be consumed by the joining of the two parties meaning they ... need to have sex. Is he gonna screw his monitor? His magazine? His Manga? seriously ¬_¬
>wife
>author
>father-in-law
...2D...get it....
Sankaku Complex
Everyone is poet now
That's hillarious
Reading late at night
Forum posts about Haikus
How did this happen
these English translations terribly suck
you guys totally got them wrong
Only native Japanese speaker can understand and enjoy these poems
The translations don't do them justice, but I guess it couldn't be posted otherwise.
4th place: デュフフコポォ オウフドプフォ フォカヌポウ
I'm wondering why I only could 6 syllables in オウフドプフォ.
Anyway... it apparently is quite funny https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fDF9WD-6ox0
The ninth most certainly should be a winner. :3
Here's one I made long ago:
Yearning for her home
A merchant guides her Northward
Goddess of Harvest
Oh liek dis?
- Since pussy is pussy,...
- A cat is fine too.
I've seen you post before
Around this site and I have to ask
Are you a zoophile?
Spice and Wolf?
That's cute.
Real life is fuzzy,
Borders unclear; Cell-shaded
world is much simpler.
Why stay in this alien winter
When fantasy is warmer land
Society understands me
not; I understand it nor,
do I really care.
tiny breasts
a heartbeat now
in my palm
My freedom is short
So does a loli lifespan
Grope now or regret
A police nearby
A loli in front
I grope with no fear
darn... this one's good :p
thanks for the perspective. got my priorities back in order now.
DFC is best
Breasts, but they are travel-size
Power in my palm
the hell, you killed her, got her chest open and ripped her heart out?
Each week I will learn
Another trait of her mind
Seasons end too soon
16th place was actually a full plagiarization of the basement haiku from Wayne's World.
So it turns out that
Even the Japanese have
a sense of humor
at first I am laughing at this whole thing, but then whI just feel loads of pity for them!
She is now my wife
So the author must now be
My father-in-law
This was actually genius.
man I started to laugh at this but then when I think about it, I just feel huge amount of sadness for their lonely lives :(