Chinese Walnuts “Made From Cement”

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Even the Chinese are aghast at their latest innovation – walnuts with tooth cracking cement fillings have apparently been recovered, the effort and cost of obtaining real nuts seemingly being greater than the trouble of making convincing fakes.

According to reports, the walnuts were on sale in a Henan province market, and consisted of a cement kernel with the outer shell glued on. The cement was wrapped in paper so as to prevent the “nut” from rattling suspiciously.

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    Avatar of Kicker
    Comment by Kicker
    23:07 17/02/2012 # ! Quality (+0.9)

    Wall nuts. Literally.

    Avatar of Lily White
    Comment by Lily White
    00:39 18/02/2012 # ! Quality (+1.0)

    Like the wall nuts from Plants vs Zombies

    Avatar of Uncommon0taku
    Comment by Uncommon0taku
    23:46 17/02/2012 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    For a country that normally doesn't recycle - at least they're recycling the shells.

    Avatar of TNinja
    Comment by TNinja
    02:46 18/02/2012 # ! Quality (+1.0)

    I... don't know about that. I think theya re VERY good at recycling. I recall a bridge made purely out of trash, literally.

    A hairband made out of used condoms. And what the hell, some "seaweed" made out of... more trash?

    Innovative recycling.

    Avatar of Astray Flame
    Comment by Astray Flame
    10:08 18/02/2012 # ! Quality (+1.0)

    Don't forget recycled cooking oil made from sewage waste.

    Comment by Anonymous
    18:24 18/02/2012 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    Why selling cement walnuts ?

    It's nonsense... Real nuts are cheap... why a seller take his time to make litterally teethtrap, except if he'is chinese 10 year old boy and want to do a badass joke ?

    \o/

    Comment by Anonymous
    20:13 18/02/2012 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    Though jokes aside, they actually recycle quite alot...of our trash anyway. Dunno about the States but I know they recycle something like 60-65% of our trash here in UK and around 30-40% of the worlds trash from what I remember on the BBC.

    Kinda ironic though that when we do complain about pollution from other countries, we're generally the source of pollution in other countries...

    Comment by Anonymous
    14:40 20/02/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    To be fair the seaweed was misreported as being fake. It's real seaweed, it just looks like plastic when it's dried up Chinese style. I eat it all the time and it's delicious.

    Comment by Anonymous
    18:24 18/02/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    Why selling cement walnuts ?

    It's nonsense... Real nuts are cheap... why a seller take his time to make litterally teethtrap, except if he'is chinese 10 year old boy and want to do a badass joke ?

    \o/

    Avatar of Kiririn
    Comment by Kiririn
    18:10 18/02/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    Also, pillows stuffed with shredded newspapers instead of feathers.

    Comment by Anonymous
    10:22 18/02/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    if you eat those you get BALLS OF STEEL

    BALLS BALLS BALLS BALLS BALLS

    Avatar of Gradius
    Comment by Gradius
    04:10 18/02/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    Call me when they start to EXPLODE !

    Comment by Anonymous
    14:32 18/02/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    U stirfry with rice, very nice....

    Comment by Anonymous
    00:35 18/02/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    It makes perfect sense:
    1. Nuts are usually sold by the pound/kilo.
    2. Have a friend at a food establishment/factory provide shells (discarded waste)
    3. Get some cement
    4. Make the cement nuts
    5. Mix in some real nuts
    6. Rack in the $$ as few cement nuts rapidly fill up to a kilo
    7. ????
    8. PROFIT!

    Comment by Anonymous
    04:52 18/02/2012 # ! Neutral (+0.4)

    You don't even need to buy the cement. Just rubble from a demolished wall.

    Comment by Anonymous
    02:43 18/02/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    Precisely, and with no FDA in China and no apparent certification process for their foods what did they expect was going to happen.

    Comment by Anonymous
    20:37 19/02/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    So true anon...and people still die of cancer left and right from eating bleached, salted, deep-fried, hydrogenated "food" their entire life that's "good" for them.

    The average hamburger that you can get from Wendy's is a sad blasphemy of anything that might be food. Iceberg lettuce is like lettuce, tomatoes have been inbred to a point of collapse, nothing in that bun even resembles grain anymore, and the animals in it have lead cruel and torturous lives.

    Yet you want unpasteurized milk from a cow that like...actually lived in a field? LOL NO.

    Comment by Anonymous
    19:00 18/02/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    And remember..... the Rethuglicans in America keep on trying to get rid of the FDA so that this kind of stuff can happen in America... VOTE OUT ALL RETHUGLICANS!

    Comment by Anonymous
    19:18 18/02/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    Fuck you, you mindless sheep. Go lick the nuts of Media Matters for the rest of your thoughts, as usual.

    Comment by Anonymous
    16:42 19/02/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    The FDA has a proclivity to prevent buyers from getting what THEY want. Because the FDA knows better. I don't want rotten meat, FDA has regs for that, FDA good. I want raw milk or the latest in pharmaceuticals, FDA has regs against that, FDA bad. Actual Republicans should be against government OVER-REACH.

    Comment by Anonymous
    01:19 18/02/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    yeah thanks to that way of thinking we are currently experiencing the collapse of western civilization.
    it's indeed a very intelligent way of making profit, unless you consider the risk of getting caught by a costumer who is either violent, or even trigger happy, and willing to settle the score without getting the authorities involved.

    Avatar of Dia
    Comment by Dia
    02:41 18/02/2012 # ! Good (+0.4)

    I don't think you can call China a western civilization yet.

    Comment by Anonymous
    01:40 18/02/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    Personally, I wouldn't blame someone who found this stuff taking his ire out on the person he bought them from.

    Comment by Anonymous
    00:12 18/02/2012 # ! Good (+0.8)

    Oh look, the Great Walnut of China

    Comment by Anonymous
    16:49 18/02/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    someone at the walnuts and put cements in. lol

    Avatar of Anonn
    Comment by Anonn
    23:04 17/02/2012 # ! Good (+0.5)

    in the near future we will find out that the chinese people are indeed fake... just dolls filled with grayish rainbows that make them do this kind of shit...

    Avatar of Kicker
    Comment by Kicker
    00:56 18/02/2012 # ! Good (+0.4)

    they did dug up the terracotta warriors...

    Avatar of Benoist
    Comment by Benoist
    23:37 17/02/2012 # ! Good (+0.4)

    and they'll explode, like bad guys in Uchū Keiji Gyaban (or PSG)

    Avatar of Miroku74
    Comment by Miroku74
    00:20 18/02/2012 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    I can just see the advertisement for this one:

    "Henan Walnuts - Teeth-cracking good!"

    At least their dental woes will go away after eating a handful of those 'wallnuts'.

    Comment by Anonymous
    02:46 18/02/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    They've been watching "Monty Python" to get marketing ideas ideas: "Crunchy Frog" candies, and other favorites:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1oyCXhiwulk

    Avatar of nope
    Comment by nope
    08:54 18/02/2012 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    Seriously wonder if the amount of money was worth it, I mean you need to gather cement chunks, scrap paper and walnut shells and glue that shit together and then turn around and sell it. Just seems like with the time spent doing all that the people involved could of just gotten a terrible job making ipods like the rest of china.

    Comment by Anonymous
    02:03 18/02/2012 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    A chinese national once said to me,"Chinese,when it comes to business..

    The only straight thing in their business is their hair."

    Comment by Anonymous
    05:08 18/02/2012 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    Chick from Black Rock Shooter would give these to Matou...

    Avatar of Warsie
    Comment by Warsie
    10:05 19/02/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    Yeah, Kagari is a bitch

    Comment by Anonymous
    23:08 17/02/2012 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    lol great april fools day present. no?

    Comment by Anonymous
    23:17 17/02/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    I concur with the use of such contrapation in humerous play upon my fellow gentlemen.

    Comment by Anonymous
    23:33 17/02/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    That said, this would be damn funny to use on a friend of mine who likes to show off that he can bite open stuff. He's gone through a walnut before, but never "this" kind of walnut hehe.

    Avatar of Barbarian of Gor
    Comment by Barbarian of Gor
    08:27 18/02/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    In Communist China...

    WTF!?

    Comment by Anonymous
    06:08 19/02/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    -nuts crack you, or your teeth at least

    Comment by Anonymous
    07:40 18/02/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    A stunning testament to the Chinese confidence in their dentistry.

    Comment by Anonymous
    07:39 18/02/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    Ed Edd n Eddy learned their ways from China... True Fact Man!

    Avatar of Demi-Rebel 72
    Comment by Demi-Rebel 72
    09:24 18/02/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    Walnuts that not only break teeth but can break your wallets and your soul.

    Avatar of warjoke
    Comment by warjoke
    10:25 18/02/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    oh great! now I don't know whats more expensive; a sack of cement or a freakin bag of nuts.

    Avatar of peacefan
    Comment by peacefan
    22:53 17/02/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    This level of entrepreneurship is making me rolling on the floor.

    Avatar of Biolante
    Comment by Biolante
    10:01 18/02/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    Something tells me that whoever writes these articles are fucking racist against Chinese people.

    Avatar of motaku96
    Comment by motaku96
    05:41 18/02/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    Lol. Seems to be a prank.

    Comment by Anonymous
    11:08 18/02/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    Looks more like the Chinese version of innovation.

    Comment by Anonymous
    03:21 18/02/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    The Chinese have fake nuts!

    Comment by Anonymous
    14:51 18/02/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    I see what you've done there.

    But at least their nuts aren't exploding yet! ;)

    Comment by Anonymous
    20:33 19/02/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    i beg to differ, case in point, the population. :)

    Comment by Anonymous
    03:17 18/02/2012 # ! Neutral (0)

    It's obvious that these are fake Chinese goods. They haven't exploded yet.





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