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Idol Otaku Inflict “Semen Handshake” on AKB48


Scandalous allegations about what goes on at idol handshaking events are once again being made, this time describing the extremes of perversion some ultra-creepy otaku engage in at the expense of their beloved idols.

Various industry journalists and other connected experts supposedly maintain the AKB handshaking events are the source of considerable ills, ranging from distorting sales to utter perversion:

“CDs come with one handshaking event coupon and you need several to get an actual ticket, so many fans will buy a great many CDs in order to get this. Once they have it they just throw the CD away or sell them off at dirt cheap prices. I doubt many of these fans buy them to actually listen to the music.”

“Rapidly increasing numbers of fans are actually resorting to shoplifting to get the CDs. One person even got arrested for going around at an event intimidating other fans into giving him their coupons.”

“Their discs get to number 1, they have repeated million-seller chat-topping hits. But that’s because their fans are incredibly desperate, sometimes buying 10 discs each.”

“Only the promoters get anything out of all this. Some of the latest handshaking events are being referred to as ‘touching events,’ and increasing numbers of their more reckless fans are busy groping their breasts and sticking their hands up their skirts. That’s why idols like Tomomi Itano have reputations for hating their fans and find any excuse not to attend the events.”

“Before the handshaking, they go to the toilets and onanise there, and attend the event with it on their hands. When one of the members goes to shake their hands, thinking them an ordinary fan, they get a sudden sticky sensation. Some members responded with a shocked ‘What the hell is this!?'”

Sadly many are by now unsurprised at the lengths some fans apparently go to:

“This is your doing guys! Give it a rest.”

“Of course creepy otaku are creepy. If you’re deliberately marketing to them what do you expect?”

“The stuff about the semen made me laugh. What kind of hero does that?”

“Give them a break, they deserve something for being forced to buy all those trashy CDs.”

“What is with that article…”

“They only buy those awful CDs to get the chance to do all that perverted stuff.”

“What do you expect if you employ sales tactics like that?”

“Make it into a fellatio event and you’ll get rid of all those guys with semen on their hands.”

“Can’t they just arrest the ones who do this stuff?”

“I bet there were always guys doing this stuff.”

“Being suddenly hugged and kissed by some maniac is what being an idol has always been about. They do get paid a lot for it.”

“Give it a rest, it’s basically a form of prostitution so what do you expect?”

“Having to buy 10 CDs to shake hands with them for a few seconds, you’d kind of expect this stuff really.”

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