Penis Cutter Suicide “May Have Thought It Was A Monster”

Japanese police insistence that a man found dead with his penis severed and thrown under his bed was a clear case of suicide seems to be hardening, with investigators unable to find any evidence that his death was suspicious, and with one expert even suggesting that “he may have thought it was a monster and tried to cut it off.”

The case, reported previously, centres on a 49-year-old taxi driver recently found dead in his Tokyo apartment.

The man was found dead in his bedroom by a concerned superior, wearing nothing but a pair of socks. Both he and his room were “covered in blood.”

His penis had been cut off and was found under the bed he was lying on, though his body bore 4 other knife wounds in his neck and chest.

His apartment was unlocked and he had been dead for approximately 2 days when found.

Colleagues report nothing abnormal or untoward about him at work, but neighbours say he had a history of noisy and at times violent relations with women. Police were repeatedly called to his residence after domestic altercations.

Police however were reportedly “unable to obtain any useful information” from interviewing his various female acquaintances.

Police investigators still insist they “cannot eliminate the possibility of suicide,” having found no evidence of another person at the scene of his death and no marks on his body consistent with any conventional struggle.

One investigator’s insightful analysis runs as follows:

“All of the wounds on his body were in places where he could have inflicted them on himself. The extent of the wounds was not enough to kill him instantly, so he was able to move around his room.

So, we think he may have inflicted these wounds on himself, then walked around his room until he eventually died…”

No note or other definitive evidence of suicide was found, but autopsy results did find traces of “stimulants” in his body, along with injection marks.

This has prompted fanciful speculation from medical experts – one professor of forensic pathology at a Japanese university provides the following analysis:

“If he cut off his private parts whilst he was still alive, there would be a correspondingly large amount of pain and blood loss.

However, with drug use we cannot deny the possibility that he may have hallucinated that his privates were a monster and attempted to get rid of it by cutting it off.”

This sort of incisive analysis seems only to be convincing many that Japan’s high rates of suicide and low rates of murder may have more to do with police incompetence and malfeasance than a suicidally orderly society:

“Yes, a 0.00000001% possibility!”

“Mine’s Godzilla.”

“This is a new one. You could turn most cases into suicides with it, making their job a lot easier!”

“Maybe he could have thought it was something, but to then cut it off and stab himself repeatedly?”

“They seem really desperate to cover this one up for some reason…”

“It is pretty odd that they are trying so hard to tone this down.”

“Anything’s possible!”

“If they say something as messed up as that I guess there really is something going on.”

“Any idiot can study medicine…”

“So what happened to this woman he was fighting with? She some politician’s daughter or something?”

“The pathologist probably can’t help it, if he gets on the wrong side of the powers that be his university funding will suffer.”

“They may as well just say ‘investigating is too much trouble.'”

“So all we can be sure of is that perpetrator was the kid of someone pretty high up.”

“You can’t deny the possibility that he hallucinated his penis was a mushroom and tried to pick it, either.”

“If he’s a doctor he should be able to tell from the angle and force of the cut whether it was likely him or someone else…”

“Another one of these scholars who act as government tools. I wonder how many suicides they’ve created using this method?”

“What kind of trashy university did they pull that moron out of? There’s no way someone on speed is going to do something like that.”

“They should probably test that pathologist for drugs as well…”

“And what about where he got the drugs? What he was doing with them? Can’t the police even manage an investigation of that?”

“You ‘cannot deny the possibility’ of just about anything.”

“So any case where the culprit looks to be rich or powerful turns out to be suicide, how handy.”

“Aren’t they just trying to co-opt this into their anti-drugs campaign?”

“It’s the perfect crime – dope your victim on speed and then kill him.”

“At least we know why our suicide rates are so high.”