Marriage “Impossible” for Over-35s
- Categories: Japan, News
- Date: Jan 3, 2012 04:25 JST
- Tags: Dating, Marriage, Money, Relationships, Statistics
Japanese census statistics reveal it is now “impossible” for any Japanese over 35 to get married, with as few as 2% managing to net a spouse in the 5 years from 35 to 40, and fewer still for those who are even older.
Japanese government census data presents some alarming findings – for example, in 2005 the proportion of unmarried men aged 35-39 was 30.9%, but the same census conducted 5 years later on men aged 40-44 showed 27.9% were unmarried, suggesting a mere 3% managed to marry in the intervening period.
A similar pattern emerged for women, unsurprisingly considering the pariah status accorded to such “old hags” – only 2% of women in the same age groups managed to marry.
The situation is even worse for Japanese in their forties: only 0.4% of men and 0.5% of women over 40 managed to marry during the period, a tiny 0.1% of the total population of men and women.
It seems no exaggeration to say that Japanese over 35 have almost no chance of getting married.
The government apparently has no idea about the causes of this trend, whilst academia and western observers rarely manage to go beyond a simplistic caricature of Japanese society as an oppressive patriarchy in which women’s only escape from marriage slavery is to stay single.
Opinions from within Japan’s lucrative marriage industry are more varied – one such “marriage consultant” holds forth:
“The fact that people are much more forgiving of people staying single in this day and age is a big factor.
Most of the unmarried over-35s are people who prioritised their hobbies or careers over romance when in their twenties.
A great many of them have limited experience dating, and they tend to look for partners with much higher specs than their own – for men, young and cute women, for women, hot guys with high incomes.
The conclusion we can draw is that they don’t understand their own value on the marriage market.”
Particularly for men, having a below average income is thought to be especially damaging to marriage prospects.
For those men seeking partners from “konkatsu” parties and traditional marriage interviews, as these involve trying to find a wife from a group of strangers, the importance of a man’s “spec” (income, looks, career, etc.) is only increased.
A combination of being over 35 and having a below average income is said to be particularly deadly to a man’s chances.
The marriage consultant is brutal about the prospects of venerable over-35s:
“Thinking you will eventually find a partner is now just an illusion. As the data shows, once you are over 35 marriage is even harder than getting into an elite university. It’s not very romantic, but its just akin to hunting for a job.”
In the face of such barriers, many Japanese seem to have simply given up on both marriage and sex. Nonetheless, 86% of Japanese still profess a desire to marry.
Online, there is not much doubt where most of the leftover 25% can be found:
“What was that? Did anyone mention love at all?”
“There used to be something called ‘love,’ but now everyone is happy living alone.”
“What horrible statistics…”
“These stats mirror the increase in women’s average age of marriage. There’s no such difference for men. It’s quite clear that the cause is women deciding not to marry.”
“Is there any hope for an unemployed 31-year-old virgin like me?”
“It costs hundreds of thousands of dollars to raise a child. Your wife detoriates as the years pass. And you kid could end up a criminal or whatever…”
“If you’re that pessimistic even being a bachelor is going to be miserable.”
“I can see unmarried women over 35 being in difficulty, as all that’s left is the ugly ones and the ones who have totally unrealistic expectations. But men? If you’re not fat or bald you won’t have a problem, I guarantee it.”
“I’m a 47-year-old singleton banker. Can I wed?”
“I think that depends on your income.”
“To think I’ll never marry, despite getting two chocos on Valentine’s Day in middle school.”
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I have never been under the delusion that only the very young are attractive.
Attractive women who take care of themselves will be attractive at all ages. And even those who don't have top looks can easily be attractive if they keep themselves looking polished, fit, and confident. I don't care about age, race, or anything like that. Hot is hot.
HOWEVER, finding women willing to bend their expectations when it comes to income and lifestyle is a LOT harder. So any flexibility men have with looks goes out the door. And women who want to be housewives and live on a high income from me can go fuck themselves. She needs to get a job and help achieve the high life if she wants it.
I'm in it for love and will gladly grow old with you and still see you as beautiful. So why the fuck would I want to deal with a woman who might walk out if I lose my job?
A lot of women, especially the more athletic types can keep a late-teenaged/early-adult type of body well into their 50's. It's just that a lot of people also has a tendency to let go and just give up trying to live youthfully.
As for this topic, I think Japan is pretty guilty at times of embellishing and overhyping the youth factor in almost all aspects of entertainment. The way that one's life is basically 'set' and 'over' by age 30, it's just a bit of a weird, defeatist attitude in regard to age. That's probably more damning than any sexual attraction or money issue as I see it.
The defeatist attitude is what is keeping so many of them back. They basically lose confidence and worth and drive after a certain age which is extremely unattractive.
Try reading "The Year of saying YES"
In a nutshell, Woman wants to be happily married.
For a year she says yes to every date.
She wants a handsome guy with money and single.
What she gets is a bald guy with two daughters.
She has never been so happy in her life.
Lesson~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You don't know what you really want till you try it~~
Hima
Trophy wives cost: They'll willing to make you look good as long as you're willing to let them live good. That's the [often unspoken] deal. You can't lose your job & expect a trophy wife to stick around for long 'cause you're not holding up your end at this point.
The woman who's also willing to hold a job will also leave for the same reason if you show no signs of getting another reasonably well-paying job soon enough: If you're expecting her to work, she's going to expect the same of you too & doesn't want to hear about how you need more time, 'cause the bills are due now, not when you get your next job; and she's not going to work & go without while you loaf about, looking for a job. She'll feel she can do just as bad all by herself, she doesn't need your help.
I wish we could get refunds of the hundreds of years men did all the money earning with this new equality stuff, meaning woman do all the work and men tend to the house/kids. But apparently that's not how equality is supposed to work.
"Um, no that goes both ways. Women aren't attracted to men who tend house, regardless of what women say."
That's the dumbest thing I've ever read. "We're talking about what women think, but let's completely ignore what women say and make up our own shit."
There is no benefit to lying about that, and even if there was it would be completely pointless, especially for as many women who say they wouldn't mind. Maybe YOU have an issue with that, but that's your own hang up.
Chen, tons of women would love this. It's men who make a huge issue out of "feeling like less of a man" if they stay home with the kids. If men would get over that hang-up then there would be no issue.
But with all the "get back into the kitchen" jokes out there it's obvious men don't respect that sort of thing, so it will never happen even if women don't mind.
"If men would get over that hang-up then there would be no issue."
LOL. What a surprise, it's all men's fault. We make such great scapegoats!
15:17 sadly it's true.
My dad could cook circles around any woman and made the house a really comfortable place to live. But it's obvious from the way other people reacted to this that a lot of other guys still have a hang-up about it.
Um, no that goes both ways. Women aren't attracted to men who tend house, regardless of what women say.
At the same time, most men would rather work than deal with small children.
I would marry the girl in picture any time.
Btw, this is good and bad at the same time.
Good: less people = better life's quality!
Bad: less people to support the old.
How do less people make better life's quality?????
Imagine you have a room to live in.
.
.
.
Now imagine you have to share that room with five others to live in.
Like we care about the old even when we are old ourselves. Living longer is a given in Japan so better put away more and less Saki when they are young.
Btw, "stand alone complex" is now a REALITY!
Yeah? I want proof.
If haven't got any then stop spouting BS, kthx..
quoting "I have never been under the delusion that only the very young are attractive.
Attractive women "
Its not a delusion its a Illusion attack all females have!!!!!
Being "polished, fit, and confident" requires having time and money.
The only way your wife can work AND have time to take care of herself is if you don't have kids, really.
BULLSHIT.
Only lazy bitches make this excuse.
Put down the fork and stop eating junk and most of the work is done already. And you only need twenty sustained minutes of exercise a day to maintain decent health. And to be confident all she has to do is stop whining that she's over a certain age like most of these Japanese bitches and there you go.
:)
So basically, women just need to work harder to stay hot so men can keep their high standards, and women need to lower their standards. Got it.
He's saying both need to lower their standards, because women aren't just hot when they are young, so men need to stop looking at only very young women. But men are more likely to look at women of all ages than women are willing to look at men of all incomes.
I believe the point was, men will accept women of any age if the woman took care of herself ( I believe staying in "decent" shape is all that's really required). Though women with will -only- accept a very well paid husband so they can live a work free existance as a housewife, needs to go.
So yes, in a basic way it's "lowering standards", though it in a more literal sense is "have more realistic standards with respect to income and lifestyle".
It's a matter of gender stereotyping. Women are by and large considered the caretakers. We're associated with household tasks, and taking care of children. Being a financial contributor isn't exemplified as a role for women the majority of the time. As a result, women often accept that ultimate role of a homebody, and in turn seek out a man that can support her and the family she makes with him.
However, it does in no way dictate who we ultimately end up with, or choose. So long as both parties are flexible with what they're willing to accept, and work towards a mutual future together, things will work out just fine.
Personally, I'm fine with the gender stereotype that I've been dealt with, because my guy is fine with the stereotype that's been dealt to him. I can stay "in the kitchen" and make my guy's home life as comfortable as possible, and he can be the breadwinner. That's how we prefer our roles in our relationship. I don't care about the actual figure he makes - I don't need a rich man to spoil me. I want to live comfortably, and that's not an unrealistic expectation for women to have. He wants a woman to support him, warm his bed, and provide a place where he can unwind without any other responsibilities to worry about (making dinner, doing laundry, etc). It works very well for us. Couples just have to figure out what works best for their relationship.
I totally agree with the term of women choices and there standard of choosing men from income and lifestyle. But even if some women can over come that certain part, a large chunk of men still over look those with less attractive in physical form. Or even if the women are attractive and rich, those lucky bastard still hardly agree to be totally dominated in social standing.
Ah, I see. Thanks.
I don't think men have high standarts to begin with...
True that.
We are men. We are easy.
younger women are more attractive, we can all kid ourselves and make excuses but for the vast majority younger is better. men don't cheat on thier wives with old women, they usually marry younger women in the first place... old women do thier best to look younger, you women do thier best to stay looking younger. yes i'll admit some kids want to look older but there is that sweet spot in the 18-26ish range that every woman wants to appear as. marriage can be about love but the facts are if you have an established income etc you have a much better chance of marrying well. A lot of it boils down to choice and money really does give you more choices because the more money you have the places and people you have access to.
You sound like a girl who is afraid that your man might leave you for an older woman. Girls like you are probably all looks and no brains and you know that when you get older you'll have no worth at all.
An attractive women is an attractive woman. Age doesn't matter if the woman is attractive. End of story.
Men who turn down attractive older women are gay, pure and simple. If you show me a man who is put off by a number and ignores a woman because of it, I'll show you a fag.
Sure, age doesn't matter if the woman is attractive. Komoe-sensei from toaru_Index is about 20 and she sill looks attractive,.. catch my drift?
Maybe to you, not necessarily to everyone else.
You'll never convince a straight man that older women don't make his penis happy if she's attractive. You can say she was "more attractive" when she was younger, but we don't give a fuck. She's attractive NOW and that's all we really give a shit about.
8:03, if an attractive woman is a fetish to you, you just proved that you're a faggot (or a butthurt younger woman who is jealous that men are looking at women who don't look like you). Congrats.
A carton of milk which expires today may be tasty and all, but I wouldn't buy it if I plan to drink it all week long. Stop trying to force your fetish on everyone.
stop comforting yourself, damn loser!!
Because of the sex.
A wannabe moralfag politician and loser at life that can only get old hags!
Nice try, but you pretty much just admitted to everyone that you're gay.
Ever thought they just haven't found that special someone yet?
From this, Japanese men are expected to prepare the nest and look their best, instead of building a warm and loving home together with your loved one.
All I see are "too old" or "too poor" excuses, compared to truly loving each other, not the size of our wallets. Finding love and getting married is all part of the process of getting through the good and bad times, in sickness and health TOGETHER.
Yeah, I'm so tired of hearing about women not being "young/cute/virginal" enough and men not being "hot/rich/chivalrous" enough. If they focused on love and actual happiness (not just being content, HAPPINESS) then their problems would be solved.
TV soap operas, reality shows, hero moves are the ultimate truth of how people should be and how relationships should go. [/sarcasm]
The unrealistic expectations are made of the garbage filtered by the TV.
Some people can see that it is unreal and unworkable - but most cannot.
People are superstitious beings and they need the superstitions. Religions were bad but worked as a whole. TV which has replaced them as source of superstitions is both bad AND doesn't work.
I'd say the biggest issue is that not enough people are minimalists. Keep only what's necessary in your personal lives.
And in jobs, hire more workers, divide it into 3 short shifts instead of 2 grueling drags. Your workers will be healthier, you'll pay out less overtime, and productivity will go up. (Insurance companies don't help this though, because their rates increase by the worker... Fucking insurance companies are killing the job market.)
@ 11:44
"... Fucking financial institutions of this world are killing the job market"
Fixed
Believing in unreasonable claims is not superstition. For something to be superstition, it needs to have a supernatural explanation.
People rationalize love through delusion, but not all forms of delusion include the belief in superstition.
Anonymous 11:44, the insurance companies are not killing the job market in the slightest anywhere in the world.
What is killing the job market in first and second world countries is the ability to find basically slave labor in the third world, along with no punitive tariffs to punish corporations for using that slave labor.
If the world has more people like you, the world would be a better place.
No, it wouldn't be a better place, Solace. Why? Because the fact is that you cannot decide whether you are 'truly in love' with a person until you have spent time with, had sex with them, etc.
Even then, the fact is that most people if someone 'better' comes along will drop that person who they are 'so in love with' like a hot potato.
Why? Because life is so changeable in the real world, that it's time to acknowledge that you are just not meant to spend life with one person.
I wouldn't have turn into a lolicon(2D) if there were more people like you!
But I am regretting no more with so many lolis around...
seems like u still didn't took an arrow in the knee...
I took a dragon to the knee. Does that count?
Opinionated Otaku with delusions of romance? Yeah, I'm sure the world needs more of those.
'Sect can get you better general treatment overall '
Unless it's the Aum Shinrikyo sect.
Sect can get you better general treatment overall and nobig tots Do Not trump lighter weight, not by a long shot.
I wouldn't say a delusion of romance, more a delusion that someone super hot is out there looking to be with them for life.
Everyone wants someone they're attracted to. Whether they're attracted to money, sex, or intellect is the real matter.
The stereotype promoted on TV says all you need is to looks hot and have enough money for and endless supply of vodka and a plasma screen tv.
Money alone can get you all the women you want, Intellect can get you fame, and being sexy means nothing unless you're a model or porn star.
On the women's aspect. Staying under 150 lbs, and knowing how to do your makeup properly can get you everything. Big tits can replace both of those.
THIS!
100x THIS!
What sucks is this concept seems to be near dead. Though yes i too am a believer in it.
True love, sad that they only exist in fiction :(
that's correct I'm touched by your words :)
Yeah, man that's it right there.
These wacky Japanese have it all fucking wrong and backwards.
@Yoshii-ku: One of the best posts at Sankaku to start off 2012!
You give an excellent and concise arguement. I can add nothing else.
If love alone provided the wherewithall to pay the bills, keep a roof over one's head, clothes on one's back, food on one's plate, etc., there'd be no problem. Love may make you wish to provide those things, but it doesn't guarantee you'll be able to.
In the Old Testament in the Bible it's said, "Better is a dinner of herbs where love is, than a fatted ox and hatred therewith." But in Japan as elsewhere, it's more like, "As long as there's a fatted ox, you need not worry about [open] hatred therewith."
No wonder why suicide rates are so high in Japan. It's this kind of shit that's terrorize Japanese people everyday.
Really, it's so sad that's 'love' isn't exist anymore, instead it's 'I'll live with you and take ur munney' thing. I'd rather live single than have to bear with that.
These are the kinds of things that any healthy human being can and should procure for themselves. I fail to see why anyone except people with an entitlement complex would care about it. But then again, "love" has always been about money outside of idealized stories.
p.s.
Don't quote the bible on the subject of love unless you want revelations 19:8 shoved into your face.
Revelations, Chapter 19, Verse 8:
"And to her was granted that she should be arrayed in fine linen, clean and white: for the fine linen is the righteousness of saints."
I'm missing something here...
Agree definitely, unfortunately we got people who seems to think the very concept is now overrated and all that BS, and we have to accept what "their now is" I'm sorry, but I've been always told about how to do things right when it comes to love and marriage, i'm not gonna listen to somebody and just take that seriously with this and that with the having to have high expectations or not have any love at all. If people are gonna be like that, that I rather remain single and let these fools keep up with this foolish charade they called "love" which could end up badly in divorce.
Why can't people see that and realize that people have made it further with thir marriage for over many years going through tough times and good times and still be there for each other, apparently their threw any meanings of the wedding vows out the window. Of course I need to calm down since this isn't getting me nowhere. All I'm saying is that it's bulls**t what I'm seeing right now.
That still doesn't explain why japan has it worse off than the rest of the world, i'm pretty sure the correct answer isn't "the rest of the world is shallow".
It's easy for young people think like that. "love is all what you need to live" but the raw reality shock you... but you are right, they are taking this too far... we need money to live yeah not having a car or a 50'' TV or a penhouse on the most exclusive street of the city, but well i might think you understand me (if my english is not that bad XD!)
well, other country, other culture... you have to respect what they think, at least they aren't doing something bad =w= come on japanese man are not that mighty that what you saw in anime, and with the high % of NEET's and unemployed 30th men, well that's a serious problem...
True, you'll need money for the harsh world, but it's love that'll help you make it through hard times. Without it it's just another crappy roommate leeching your wallet.
Besides, they're living more than they can pay for. Expensive stuff that you'll never use, just to show them to others is almost like a custom everywhere.
It's hard to love an old hag.
Not to mention all the genetic problems with reproducing at such an age.
So nope, only youthful maiden waifu for me plz
What'd you say to Yakumo Yukari or Hijiri Byakuren?
She told me she was 16
Youki are special cases. They don't age at the same rate as humans if they age at all. They tend to show the age they feel or wish to portray.
With 35 you are everything but old, special when you look at how young asian woman of that age appear.
compared to women of other races they seem young (i guess) but asian is very eagle eyed with appearance of age so they are considered hag to them and youthful beauty to crusty wrinkly white person... beauty in eye of beholder yo
Science and physique prove otherwise. It comes off as biologically unnatural.
Emotionally as well.
Thirty-five isn't an old hag. Japanese people have conditioned themselves to look at the number more than the person. I think women in their 30s are hot if they take care of themselves. Besides, I'm looking for love and common ground, not a trophy wife.
10:05 in the terms they are speaking of "old hag" refers to an ugly woman because she is too old to be attractive.
I'm saying that people 35 and older aren't automatically unattractive. I don't want children so I could care less about that.
Anonymous, no, 35 is not the threshhold for safely giving birth. Whenever you stop having menstrual periods naturally is.
I like how all of you are actually pretending to give a shit about having kids and reproduction and shit.
Let's me real. What most of us are concerned with is having an attractive wife.
THE POINT is that 35 is not old! If a woman takes care of herself she will look good well past 35. If she doesn't she was a lazy bitch.
'no, 35 is not the threshhold for safely giving birth. Whenever you stop having menstrual periods naturally is.'
In the gynecology profession, any pregnancy in a woman past the age of 35 is called an "elderly pregnancy." Ask your gynecologist, don't take my word for it.
And 27 is the cut-off date for starting on kids. If you try to start at 30, you're headed for problems.
Yes, fertility therapies will work for some patients, but they will fail entirely for others, and produce birth defects in a third group.
I like how one gets down votes for merely stating something that was proven by science. Some of you guys (girls) might want to check out some biology books.
Thirty-five is the threshold for safely giving birth to healthy children and will see a sharp decline in the outwards appearance.
It isn't them being conditioned to see them as "old hags" it's most of the western world being conditioned to see old hags not as what they truly are.
Sure they take things to far. But you guys should stop deluding yourself.
"Anonymous, no, 35 is not the threshhold for safely giving birth. Whenever you stop having menstrual periods naturally is."
You obviously have no idea about biology, right? After the age of 35 the risk for mother and baby goes through the roof. There's a reason we have more and more children with the down-syndrom and other defects nowadays. Look it up before you spout your feminazi nonsense.