“Finally – You Can Lose Your Virginity To Your PC!”
- Author: Artefact
- Categories: Games, H, News
- Date: Dec 10, 2011 22:26 JST
- Tags: 3D Custom Girl, Dutch Wife, Onanism, Otaku, Ronery, Tech Arts 3D, Technology
Virginal onanists are hailing the advent of the USB Onacon as a major step forward, with at least one reviewer praising it as “like having sex” and others noting that this brings them tantalisingly close to finally being able to lose their virginity to their PCs…
The “USB Onacon,” detailed in a previous article:
The review (of sorts):
“I bought the USB Onahole… the box is huge!”
“We want to see inside!”
“What happened to him?”
“He died already?”
“Should we wait until he finishes his sage time?”
“Sorry guys, I was polishing up my magnum in the bath!”
“There’s a box inside the box, very classy!”
“Show us what’s inside that box!”
“Open it already!!!”
“Can you play it online yet?”
“I think a system where the onahole comes with an anal dildo and you can both use them together online, with the winner the one who lasts the longest, could really sell…”
“That sounds like paradise for the analists!”
“This technology is going to keep progressing and eventually we won’t need 3D women at all.”
“Ho, it comes with its own lotion too!”
“How I envy you.”
“Onacon-chan is surprisingly simple though.”
“Just how much tissue do you have in there?”
“This is the actual onahole. You have it symmetrically docked with onacon-chan. The shape is different from normal so it won’t fit any others.”
“The package says it is a perfect recreation of the feel of virgin vagina…”
“Vi-virgin, you say?”
“Looks too small.”
“Well, it’s a virgin so that can’t be helped!”
“The game finally installed.”
“Looks hard to wash though.”
“I ran the game, and a girl suddenly appeared before me!”
“Too many jaggies…”
“Now to make a character… there’s so many clothing options, it’s confusing!”
“Try Googling 3D Custom Shoujo and you’ll be a happy man.”
“Whoa!!!!!!!”
“What happened to him!”
“He’s probably still stuck making his character. It does that to novices.”
“Ahhh.”
“Welcome back. Now write the review already.”
“My thoughts on the onahole part are mixed. Using it is certainly exciting. It feels like sex. But if you thrust deep there’s no reaction, it’s a little disappointing.”
“Sure you’re not just too small?”
“So it’s no good for small guys? That rules me out.”
“Seriously? Let me just go cancel my order.”
“Upload a pic of the girl you made.”
“Like this:”
“Just what some virgin would want. Busty, black-haied, megane…”
“Shut it. I lost it ages ago!”
“So how was it? Glad you bought it?”
“I’m thinking it was pretty good.”
“Finally, the age where we can lose our virginity to our PCs has come!”
| 
Marshmallow Imouto Succubus Hits The Beach
Bishoujo Mangekyou Fan Translation Emerges
Samurai Rising – Square Enix: You Guessed it!
Mangaka Pay Tribute to Kyushu
Street Fighter V Enlists Guile
Chinese Death Simulator “Hopefully Won’t Explode”
Re:Zero “In The Nick Of Time!”
Muma Astacia Sultry Succubus Ero-Figure
Hundred Sloppy Kissing Anime
Greek Woman “Born Without A Vagina!”
Let It Die Trailer Unforgettably Fierce
Shinjuku Station Reveals “All Yu-Gi-Oh Cards Ever!”
KanColle Arcade Scores A Direct Hit
Bakuon!! Relentlessly Cute
Fuwary Gymnastics Girl Onahole Frighteningly Flexible
Star Fox Animated Short Takes Flight
Big Order “Big & Scary!”
Langrisser Re:Incarnation Tensei Really Retro
Monster Hunter Generations Monstrous As Ever
Live Action Naruto Stage-Play Filthier Than Ever
Goddess of 2ch: “What A Cute Hole!”
Alice Margatroid Ero-Cosplay by Hiyo Nishizuku Full of Cheer
Sheryl Nome Bunny Girl Cosplay by Mike Super Scandalous
Marvelous Madoka Mizugi Cosplay by Mashiro Yuki
Marie Rose Cosplay by Mike Undeniably Sexy
Tasha Tracer Cosplay Truly Tantalizing
Witch Craft Works Cosplay by Kagune Intensely Seductive
Kaine Cosplay by Yuricha Flawless
Kasumigaoka Utaha Cosplay Pretty Pure
Goddess of 2ch “Another Bathing Beauty!”
“Sorry guys, I was polishing up my magnum in the bath!”
lol
FUCK YOU!
no, fuck YOU!
ooookaaaaay, I'm not sure if I'll feel sorry for the guy who obviously can't get laid by a girl and has a PC to do it with or I'll feel sorry for the PC that actually got violated.
sheeesh sad
more like his .38
Pretty sure its not bazooka..Illegal for civilians, got my drift?
At least you guys are thicker than an arrow like me
"It's big! It's hard! ...And it's coming to get ya!"
lol, I remember this.
Lol so pathetic.
I don't even...
/no comment/
That hole is too small. He either has a tiny dick or put his pinky there.
...and all this while I thought it was 'the tighter the better'. Evidently the looser the better.
Those things actually stretch a lot... Well, not really sure how it does that with that plastic encasing though.
...or it's aimed at Japanese market only.
because it is supposed that your PC is virgin like you
Insert getting your PC knocked up, giving it viruses and/or it cheating on your with your roommate jokes here.
Win
May i have use this without condom and wait 9 month for new PC?
hay.. that's not a bad idea
After enough times I'll have enough for a basketball team? NBA2k11 eat your heart out :P
expect something advance then.
Wait for 9 months without playing the game, 9 months without a PC is a terrible suffering
Cleary sir, you've never heard of Pregnant Sex
Kimoi!
Pregnant sex is quite hot in my opinion
Anata no daikirai desu!
Pregnant sex is good for the baby's health. If it matures hearing happy mommy and daddy voices regularly, it'll grow into a fine person. Who am I to deny a healthy baby?!?
You could buy multiple PCs as a harem :D
wait then wouldn't it be some sort of human/pc hybrid kind of thing. we've all seen that movie, it ends with robots taking over the world and harvesting our bodies for energy.
I wouldn't mind if a robot girl harvested my body for energy, if you know what I mean.
My PC is already harvesting all my energy. The girl-part is the only thing missing.
That or building a space fleet and nuking the planet from orbit and then chasing the survivors halfway across the galaxy.
That was an american movie, wasn't it? Watch some anime about this topic and be amazed.
Yes but will you take responsibility?
I'll take responsibility alright. In fact, I ain't giving it to nobody else!
@ Anon 22:43 10/12/2011:
Y'know, these things are probably made in China.
Explosion/fire, human "loss of limb", and concomitant lawsuit in 10... 9... 8...
What isn't made in China anyway?
things that don't explode...... oh wait
With great pleasure,come a great price with some danger.
lol XD
well if your onacon-chan is a loli, she won't get pregnant, haha
As long as you don't have a virus to spread then raw-dog that bitch
Just don't try the same trick with the next computer, or the Internet Police will be after you.
Can you imagine the possibilties? You grow tired of your old pc, just have sex with it and it will in time bear you a new,more powerful model pc!!!
GUYS ...NOW you do not have any excuse for your virgin .
Except if they're poor and they don't live in Japan.
>Just what some virgin would want. Busty, black-haied, megane…
jelly as fuck
There are deputy services you can use to get goods from Japan. You just need to find one that's willing to ship adult products.
This is where the Real Matrix started.
“I’m thinking it was pretty good.”
the Age of Sex Robots is near! =/
Good, because my cyber-loli-harem isn't going to build itself.