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The USB ONACON – “8 Times Better Than Using Your Hand!”


Creepy otaku are rejoicing at the release of the USB ONACON, an electronic USB dutch wife being sold bundled together with eroge classic 3D Custom Girl, finally bringing the latest in onanistic technology to semen-stained PCs everywhere.


The main feature of the Onacon is the “ejaculation button” which “allows you to sync your ejaculation with that of the character!!”

Secondary features include “a hole which completely recreates the tightness of virgin p***y” and an internal structure which “recreates her uterus!! You can pump liquid into her uterus with your thing and totally knock her up!!”

The makers proudly claim it “feels 8 times better than manual onanism, the feel and immersion it gives you is something else.” Users are exhorted to “dominate 2D in reality!” and “become an ona-master with this!”

The device is currently available from the usual otaku retail outlets.

Online the Onacon seems to have prompted some excitement:

“I’ll buy it!”


“Messed up.”

“So you can do a 2D girl after all?”

“Japan is messed up.”

“The store manager would really put this out? Japan is crazy.”

“I’m glad to have been born into this age.”

“Anal version please.”

“They say you can use it as a normal game controller and use the ejaculation button to fire in FPSes…”

“If any foreigners see this they will be grossed out!”

“Our declining birth rates must be because our onanism life is so full!”

“If there’s an ejaculation button, it needs to be connected to Facebook and Twitter!”

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