Korea Renames UK Sea Over “Sea of Japan” Refusal


The South Korean government is threatening to start using the Argentine name for the seas surrounding the Falkland Islands after the UK government refused to go along with its demands for it to rename the “Sea of Japan” the “East Sea” on its own maps, much to the glee of the Japanese and the incomprehension or indifference of practically everyone else.

South Korea has been running a campaign to harass and cajole various governments, international bodies and public and private concerns into dropping the “Sea of Japan” designation in favour of “East Sea” (as well as “Sea of Korea”) for some years, with very limited success.


For whatever reasons, Britain has apparently been especially recalcitrant in going along with the renaming.

In retaliation, the Korean government is threatening the UK with the terrifying prospect of it writing “Malvinas Sea” alongside “Falklands Sea” in all its maps.

The official explanation of course refrains from presenting the issue as a tit-for-tat attempt to coerce the UK into dropping the name:

“Up to now we have referred to waters surrounding the islands as the Falkland Sea due to them being considered UK territory.

However, due to the unresolved territorial claims over the islands by both the UK and Argentina, we are actively considering calling them the Malvinas Sea as well.”

A Korean government representative puts it all down to the wickedness of island races, displaying just the kind of diplomatic and cultural insight which have contributed so much to Korea’s international popularity:

“The reason the UK clings to calling the East Sea the ‘Sea of Japan’ is because the UK and Japan are of the same ilk in being island nations.”

The Falkland Islands, a barren and otherwise utterly insignificant (saving the recent discovery of oil) set of islands off the tip of South America with 3,000 essentially British inhabitants, are a UK territory claimed by neighbouring Argentina under the name “Las Malvinas.”


This claim precipitated the 1982 invasion of the islands by Argentina’s military junta, resulting in a crushing loss at the hands of the UK and the fall of their dictatorship.

Although most British would probably respond with bloody-minded defiance towards any attempt at coercion, not least over a territory which their nation fought a costly war to defend, sheer lack of interest in the affairs of obscure Asian nations probably precludes anyone there actually taking any notice.

To the Japanese, long the victims of endless Korean bullying over obscure territorial and historical minutiae, this is more evidence of just how crazed their most immediate neighbours are:

“They are nuts.”

“They really have no concept of their own stature.”

“They are pretty brave to make enemies of the UK!”

“Keep going! Soon the rest of the world will know just what a bunch of nutjobs you are.”

“Why don’t they realise this sort of thing only turns people against them?”

“What do they think will happen when they go around threatening whites? They ought to know their place.”

“What are they playing at? The British government can’t just go along with it now, they’d upset their own people for giving in to threats.”

“Just call it what you like in your own country, Koreans. Spare us this nonsense.”

“Have they already stopped trying to get it called the Sea of Korea?”

“Picking a fight with the UK, what are they thinking…”

“Argentina calls it the Sea of Japan anyway…”


“Mar de Japon…”

“Now they can threaten Argentina with calling it just ‘Falklands Sea’ if they don’t change their maps.”

“The Argentines are the real victims here.”

“I want to know what the Argentinians think about all this.”

“They must think they are at the centre of the world. Nobody in the UK will even take any notice of something like this.”

“I cannot believe someone in their government would actually say something like that about ‘island nations’…”

“They just love surrounding themselves with enemies.”

“What imbeciles. Even Japan acknowledges the superiority of the UK.”

“That a race of slaves would start picking a fight with the nation which colonised half the planet – what an age we live in.”

“The rest of the world isn’t going to spoil you like Japan does…”

“What are the British us going to be saying about this I wonder?”

“UK: ‘And?'”

“You can’t get away with treating other developed nations like you treat Japan, Koreans!”

“It’s frightening that it’s actually their government which is doing this stuff.”

“I don’t think any British person will ever even see a Korean map though…”

“Warping history is the Korean speciality.”

“It’s so stupid. Threatening other countries over something like this – it’s only going to make the UK government even less compliant.”

“Europeans don’t even care about some tiny sea over here anyway.”

“They really should understand that this sort of threat will only further inflame the British.”

“I hope the English speaking world hears of this. Koreans are so simplistic that they think weird pestering and harassment is enough to get anyone to go along with their demands.”

“It’s amazing they think anyone cares what they call the area. There is no comparison between the UK and Korea’s international influence.”

“And this is the way they choose to make themselves known to the rest of world?”

From a similar discussion on the matter of Korean cartography:


“Japan as Koreans want it to be”


“Japan as Japanese want it to be”

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    Comment by Anonymous
    03:43 21/09/2011 # ! Good (+0.9)

    It's interesting how Japan mysteriously shrinks on Korean maps ...

    Avatar of nightcolored
    Comment by nightcolored
    04:35 21/09/2011 # ! Quality (+1.0)

    the people that can't even draw the map right (including sucks geographical knowledge) wants to threaten the world about map... O_O

    Avatar of HouseLife
    Comment by HouseLife
    04:49 21/09/2011 # ! Quality (+0.8)

    Actually... in the bottom map... isn't Japan next to Hawaii...? What would that do to its climate and weather I wonder. May make it all like Osaka.

    Comment by Anonymous
    05:05 21/09/2011 # ! Quality (+1.0)

    You're missing the point.

    “Japan as Japanese want it to be”

    -> Japanese want to get the fuck away from China/Korea

    Avatar of Artefact
    Comment by Artefact

    2ch also noted appreciatively that they took Taiwan with them...

    Comment by Dark Mage
    10:59 21/09/2011 # ! Good (+0.6)

    Who would want China as a neighbor.

    Avatar of Necromas
    Comment by Necromas
    07:01 21/09/2011 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    As ridiculous as the notion is, it would be kind of cool see what it would be like to somehow merge Japan and the US. But (disregarding all the bigger problems) just imagine the reaction some people would have....

    Japanese: "Oh God what if they all come over with their guns and tattoos and go on violent crime sprees!"

    Americans: "Fuck dem sissies, dey don't even speak 'merican."

    Avatar of Gitami
    Comment by Gitami
    13:15 21/09/2011 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    I highly doubt Taiwan has objection to how the Japanese wants it.

    Avatar of HouseLife
    Comment by HouseLife
    11:00 21/09/2011 # ! Neutral (0)


    Not sure why you were downvoted. Probably because it was too much truth in one place at once time. The sad thing is that's closer to reality for those not familiar with either culture (the majority of either country) than most intelligent people would like it to be...

    Comment by Anonymous
    13:18 21/09/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    Artefact, are you Taiwanese?

    Comment by Anonymous
    13:36 21/09/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    @Aneko @yuriphobia

    Such USA worship. Must be another graduate from the George Bush School of Thought.

    "If they hate China, they MUST love America! IT MAKES PERFECT SENSE HERP"

    America isn't loved, kiddo. It's just the lesser of multiple evils.

    Comment by Anonymous
    04:57 22/09/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    If the crisis continues it would be more probable that China annex USA

    Comment by Anonymous
    05:55 21/09/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    Japan as the 51 state now that be way to cool, I move over there in a heart beat if that was the case. Hawaii is nice but dam small.

    Avatar of Astray Flame
    Comment by Astray Flame
    06:21 21/09/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    I would really welcome that because I wouldn't have to get a greencard, and I can live over there forever. This will also let other states get more Japanese residence instead of just the coastal area. Also, no more currency exchange issue of paying a different price when the rate changes after a few days when the payment actually goes through.

    Comment by Anonymous
    02:44 11/05/2013 # ! Neutral (0)

    Just MOVE japan far into pacific, like its neigbours will miss them...

    Comment by Anonymous

    If the US annexes japan, we should keep going and annex Canada and Mexico

    Avatar of yuriphoria
    Comment by yuriphoria
    05:38 21/09/2011 # ! Neutral (-0.2)

    No, Japan wants to become another state.

    Comment by Anonymous

    @Black Witch

    Probably those who are in big business with China. But it's all very opinionated either way. Japan is no freaking saint by any means. Unless people enjoy covering their eyes and ears and ignore that fact. Chances are the Japanese will continue to be isolationist and won't want anything to do with the rest of the world or other ethnics.

    People thinking that if Japan ever merged with another country equals happy happy fun times need learn somehing about economics, social integration/assimilation and culture clash.

    Comment by คภєк๏
    05:32 21/09/2011 # ! Neutral (-0.3)

    Bring Japan over, and the US could make it a state.

    Comment by Anonymous
    11:07 21/09/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    Japan should be next to Peru or Brazil since there's lots of Nips there anyway.

    Comment by Anonymous
    11:10 22/09/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    They should definitely put it far away from wherever the fuck you are from. It sounds like you came from a place that mixes their sewage and drinking water.

    Comment by Anonymous
    04:08 22/09/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    Hey! Who let this kid in here?!

    Avatar of erochichi
    Comment by erochichi
    08:41 21/09/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    Japan situated in north of Hawaii, at same latitude as now, would get warmer climate year around, with winter snow possibly only high on the mountains of Hokkaido. Summers won`t be as hot as now, though.
    Earthquakes would be much more scarce than in old place, little fewer than in Hawaii.
    And the best thing is, Japan would be out of range for North Korean missiles and further away from South Korean`s bad mouths.
    Too bad islands can`t be moved that easily.

    Comment by Anonymous
    04:06 22/09/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    It englarges when it becomes aroused... usually by the thought of recolonizing North Korea.

    Avatar of Powerpuff Loli
    Comment by Powerpuff Loli
    04:44 21/09/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    It's where Hawaii is supposed to be

    Avatar of erochichi
    Comment by erochichi
    08:43 21/09/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    No, Hawaii is below Japan and slightly to right in that map.

    Comment by Anonymous
    11:12 22/09/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    Oh wait, too late! Damn sneak attacks!

    Comment by Anonymous

    As long as US don' t attack Tokyo

    Comment by Anonymous
    11:06 21/09/2011 # ! Drivel (-0.8)

    As long as they don't attack Pearl Harbor.

    Comment by Anonymous
    04:07 21/09/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    nice finding... didnt notice...

    Comment by Anonymous
    03:47 21/09/2011 # ! Good (+0.8)

    “Warping history is the Korean speciality.”
    Warping history is the Human specialty. Fixed.

    Comment by Anonymous
    13:58 21/09/2011 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    Truer words never spoken. History is the interpretation of past events by the present.

    Comment by Anonymous
    04:13 22/09/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    I thought Scotty and Geordi were the experts on warping?

    Comment by Anonymous

    It's ironic a Japanese would criticize someone else of "warping history."

    Comment by Anonymous
    07:16 21/09/2011 # ! Good (+0.8)

    I'm sure the United Kingdom is quaking in it's boots because an obscure and pissant little country is going to rename the area around a god-forsaken pile of rocks in the middle of nowhere on maps that only they themselves can read.

    Comment by Anonymous
    13:27 21/09/2011 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    Well they are little shitheads but in fact S.Korea is becoming important, a developped country with a population of 50millions, for example Uk or France are just a little more developped, and have a population of 60-65millions. Therefore, it would have been worse if the north and the south had never splitted.
    But the GDP isn't the only source of international power: UK is a nuclear power, and a permanent member of the UN security council (with only USA, France, Russia and China), so their political powers aren't comparable it's true.

    Comment by Anonymous

    South Korea is far from being some obscure pissant country. Chances are more than half of your expensive electronic products are from a South Korean company. Their internet is more highly developed than many countries in the 1st world. The current Secretary General of the United Nations is South Korean. They practically own Starcraft!

    But it is funny that they decided to pick the Falkland Islands as the sore spot of the UK to pick at to prove a point.

    Avatar of Raven
    Comment by Raven
    04:09 21/09/2011 # ! Quality (+0.8)

    The world should troll Korea by letting Korea rename the Sea of Japan to anything they want. But then the world renames the Pacific ocean to the Ocean of Japan.

    Comment by Anonymous
    05:47 21/09/2011 # ! Good (+0.9)

    You sir just win this the internet.

    Comment by Anonymous

    This would also effectively turn every Pacific Island into Japanese Islands...

    Comment by Anonymous
    11:49 21/09/2011 # ! Good (+0.8)

    Why vote this down? China would have a collective apoplexy.

    There'd be an entire fleet worth of shipping boats crashing into anything that floats.

    Comment by Anonymous
    17:31 21/09/2011 # ! Neutral (+0.4)

    No, Japan is now part of the Union, as a Special Autonomous Region.

    Comment by Anonymous

    And America would loose Hawaii

    Comment by Anonymous
    12:03 21/09/2011 # ! Neutral (+0.4)

    I call Korea the "Land of Kimchi" anyways.

    Comment by Anonymous
    15:47 23/09/2011 # ! Neutral (+0.4)

    but actually kimchi is not a korean original food.
    it's come from Sichuan province in china.
    now korean claim it's korea's original.
    china don't care about it because china has many culture and origin.

    Comment by Anonymous
    13:15 01/12/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    Is that why there's no chinese kimchi anywhere in the asian market?

    Comment by Anonymous

    man, only true koera is north korea

    Comment by Anonymous
    01:29 23/09/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    There are but they are exclusive property of Lord Kim.

    Comment by Anonymous

    but there are no lolis...

    Comment by Anonymous

    Wow, that's so clever! Do you call Mexico the "Land of Tacos" or England the "Land of Fish n Chips?" Or China the "Land of Orange Chicken?"

    You are like the second coming of George Carlin!

    Comment by Anonymous
    17:19 22/09/2011 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    this has been going on for how long? im British, i watch the news and read the papers and ive never heard of this, the last time i heard Korea mentioned in the news was during the tragic events with the quake and nuclear plant, and Koreans were worried about radiation in the sea spreading towards them.

    Comment by Anonymous
    19:33 22/09/2011 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    True - it's only through Sankaku Complex that I've learned of Japan's differences with Korea and China. These matters are not widely covered in the UK press...

    Avatar of Castian
    Comment by Castian

    So Korea are the "USA" of Asia?

    Comment by Anonymous
    04:03 22/09/2011 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    No, USA is the USA of Asia. And there are two Koreas, doofus. Here's a hint, it's not east and west...

    Comment by Anonymous

    yes, yes and YES!

    Comment by Anonymous
    18:00 21/09/2011 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    Fucking morons.

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