Seiyuu Otaku: “Ban Seiyuu From Marriage or Dating!”

Anyone struggling to understand the response of seiyuu otaku to the scandalous revelations that seiyuu have boyfriends and may not actually even be virgins need look no further than the following manifesto – which, amongst other things, demands seiyuu be prevented by law from marrying or associating with men.

The screed in question:

Female seiyuu are 2.5D, they are angels.

So naturally they must be virgins, and it is out of the question for them to have anything to do with men.

It’s a given that female seiyuu be virgins.

Female seiyuu have to be treated as holy ground.

They mustn’t date or marry.

Ones like that must quit being seiyuu!

The law ought to ban female seiyuu from marriage or dating.

[…]

We need a licensing system for seiyuu.

Of course, being a virgin would be a requirement.

Compulsory virginity inspections of all female seiyuu should be mandated by law. Only those with virginity certificates can be allowed to be voice actresses.

Those who wish to date or marry ought to submit notice of their intent, be stripped of their license and then allowed to.

Those who date or marry men without permission need to be punished by the law.

Countermeasures like this are a given.

[…]

Elizabeth I said she was married to her kingdom and subjects, and resolved to live as an absolute monarch and organ of the state.

Female seiyuu must also resolve that “I am married to my fans,” and so devote their entire lives to all their fans as their idol.

If you cannot undertake this, you cannot become a seiyuu.

[…]

I think most of you will agree with my proposal.

Whilst some seiyuu certainly regard themselves as professional voice actors and are generally treated as such, those who choose to market themselves as idols in order to exploit the commercial possibilities of thousands of obsessive maniacs certainly have a fine line to walk, as evidenced by the response of otaku to those who break character.

As might be expected, the manifesto has some takers:

“Gross.”

“What the hell are you on about?”

“I agree completely. As a fan, the purity of my dear 2D characters is preserved, so there’s no excuse for a seiyuu to be engaging in romance however she pleases.”

“I agree. Idol seiyuu ought not to engage in romance until I tire of them.”

“Don’t forget to ban male seiyuu from dating as well.”

“If you want to play around with men you shouldn’t become an idol in the first place.”

“It’s not like they are doing it on the job. Who cares?”

“Whether on the job or in private, the mere fact they are playing around with men is what disqualifies them from being seiyuu.”

“If they are talented voice actors who cares what they do with their male friends in private? You lot just decide they are your girlfriends and then accuse them of betraying you, honestly…”

“What they do in private is their business. But they ought to try to hide it as far as possible from their customers.

If they can’t, they ought to quit. This is what the Taketatsu fuss is about.”

“If they want to date or be a slut it’s their choice. But trying to trick their fans and maintain a customer base through deceit is no better than some shady cult or Amway.”