Top 10 Failings You Wish Your Lover Would Fix


Japanese quizzed about what deficiencies they wish their boyfriends and girlfriends would put some effort into fixing supply a set of instructive rankings likely to ring true the world over…

The ranking for women, by men:

1. She becomes emotional when angry

2. She’s a negative thinker

3. She’s loose with her time

4. Her room is dirty

5. She’s rash in certain respects

6. Her use of money

7. She has a great many likes and dislikes

8. She can be restrictive

9. Her use of language

10. Her fashion sense

The ranking for men, by women:

1. His table manners

2. He’s rash in certain respects

3. He becomes emotional when angry

4. His fashion sense

5. His use of money

6. His room is dirty

7. He’s a negative thinker

8. He’s loose with his time

9. He has a great many likes and dislikes

10. He grumbles about things

Possibly as informative as what heads each list is what respondents were least bothered about – what does not bother men with respect to their female partners:

22. She’s tight with money

23. She’s overly influenced by fads and fashions

24. She stays at home all the time

25. She tosses about whilst sleeping

26. She doesn’t talk much

27. She forgets anniversaries

And women with respect to their male partners:

22. His sense of cleanliness is overly strong

23. He’s overly influenced by fads and fashions

24. He talks about others of his sex a lot

25. He’s overly enthusiastic about some celebrity

26. He’s quick to cry

27. His cooking ability

In summary, it would seem women need to maintain a cool head whilst perhaps giving their strange fixation with anniversaries a rest, whilst men need to eat with their mouths closed and leave the cooking to trained professionals (or, this being Japan, women).

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    Avatar of HouseLife
    Comment by HouseLife
    16:27 10/09/2011 # ! Quality (+1.0)

    The table manners aspect is confusing to me. Isn't this a country that uses chopsticks to eat, which can be tough to control, and where slurping while eating is considered extremely polite?

    I do admit... I am a bit baffled. What is it men are doing INCORRECTLY there if that is considered correct? I'm truly curious.

    Comment by Anonymous
    20:21 10/09/2011 # ! Good (+0.8)

    I wonder as well, though chopsticks are not exactly tough to control...

    Avatar of Lunar Archivist
    Comment by Lunar Archivist
    22:23 10/09/2011 # ! Quality (+0.8)

    Another problem might be eating food while on the go. In Japan, if you grab a hot dog or ice cream cone, you're expected to stand in one spot and finish eating it as opposed to, say, walking towards a destination while chowing down.

    I don't know why, but Japanese have a lot of bizarre pet peeves about multitasking while moving. They even have signs in the subways and trains telling people not to read newspapers or apply makeup in the cars. Hell, it's even considered bad form to read manga or novels on the train without some kind of blank, featureless, brown dust cover obscuring the nature and title of your reading material.

    Honestly, eating and doing anything other than just sitting/standing around like the rest of the mindless automatons made me paranoid. :P

    Avatar of Mauvais
    Comment by Mauvais
    23:53 10/09/2011 # ! Good (+0.6)

    Compounding the strangeness of not being able to move while eating or drinking is just how many vending machines there are in Japan. No joke, there are at least two vending machines every two blocks, if not every block, whether you're in the city or a small community. Food and drink are so readily available in portable packages, yet you aren't allowed to take advantage of it that way.

    Avatar of Lunar Archivist
    Comment by Lunar Archivist
    08:15 11/09/2011 # ! Good (+0.6)

    Tell me about it. I was staying at the Excel Hotel Tokyu near Yokohama Station a few years back and there must've been something like five or six convenience stores within a five block radius of the place, not counting restaurants, cafes, supermarkets, etc. I don't even want to think about how many vending machines were hiding behind the corners and in the alleys I didn't explore.

    Comment by Anonymous

    Well, it's not so bizzarre once you think about it.
    Whether a hot dog or an ice cream cone, when you are eating, it means you are relaxing and/or
    enjoying yourself. So, why would you need to rush or do anything else while you are enjoying?
    With that mindset, it is obvious that people will stand in one spot and finish eating their food, so that they can fully enjoy its taste.
    Also, about the not reading newspaper in the subways or applying make-up in the car. It's clearly indicates that everyone should pay attention to what they are doing. Accidents usually comes from these kinds of situation. Obviously nobody wants to fall into the railroads or crash into another car just bacause they are not doing what they were supposed to do: watch where they're going, right?

    Avatar of Chen-04
    Comment by Chen-04
    16:36 28/09/2013 # ! Neutral (0)

    Never heard of multitasking?

    Avatar of Shippoyasha
    Comment by Shippoyasha
    21:09 10/09/2011 # ! Good (+0.6)

    Slurping aside, there's a ton of etiquette for eating in Japan. Not everybody minds it terribly, but of course, the typical complaint is how guys typically slouch when eating or the elbows on table, stuff like that.

    Or the big cultural no-nos like sticking chopsticks into rice, which can be seen as sacrificial.

    It's not the same for public and private places, but unlike in America where people seem to become chatterboxes in a restaurant, people usually don't chat away too much in a formalized restaurant setting. At least from my experience. It might be different in less formal cities/towns and if you're hanging with a bunch of friends. But being hush-hush is a kind of 'the thing' with etiquette in Japan.

    Avatar of TC-man
    Comment by TC-man
    07:16 11/09/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    Perhaps not using chopsticks (instead eating with bare hands) is poor table manners in Japan? And that slurping when eating being polite in Japan is such urban myth. It's more considered to be normal, you just make some noise when drinking soup or tea.

    Comment by Anonymous
    19:31 10/09/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    obviously, they aren't slurping enough while they eat.

    Comment by Anonymous
    17:48 10/09/2011 # ! Quality (+1.0)

    1. She becomes emotional when angry

    Anger is an emotion.

    Avatar of TC-man
    Comment by TC-man
    07:18 11/09/2011 # ! Good (+0.6)

    Perhaps he don't want to see his girl-friend being angry and at the same time crying. He can not cope with two things at once, you know.

    Comment by Anonymous
    07:13 12/09/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    In Japan they don't die even if they are killed and their hips shake on their own.

    Avatar of Shippoyasha
    Comment by Shippoyasha
    21:12 10/09/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    lol. Might be a cultural thing. Where anger can sometimes be shown off in passive aggressive ways in Japan and people think THAT is a normal behavior. >_>

    That's kind of an idealized thing though. Of course, people can actually boil over and shout and stuff when angry...

    Comment by Anonymous
    03:28 11/09/2011 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    Yeah Japan's repression of emotion is really frustrating because then they take things too far.

    Comment by Anonymous
    15:06 10/09/2011 # ! Good (+0.9)

    Men- #1: She ugly
    Woman- #1: He has no money

    *fixed >.>

    Comment by Anonymous
    16:51 10/09/2011 # ! Good (+0.9)

    Ugly women and poor men have no lovers to criticize them and so aren't represented in these lists.

    Comment by Anonymous
    14:12 11/09/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    I beg to differ, I don't know why, but sometimes some ugly guys have really pretty girls friends, it's just puzzling, same with some ugly girls who have handsome boyfriends, again, one of the world's biggest mysteries.

    Avatar of kumesana
    Comment by kumesana
    22:58 12/09/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    I've never been rich, merely wealthy or promising money-wise, yet I've had rather pretty girlfriends.
    I always say it, money and ugliness are merely most people's most important factors. But other factors play too. (In my case, insecurity and exaggerated emotionality will drive away some women from most men and scare the rest, leaving just me, quite happy with anyone pretty enough who wants to care.)

    Comment by Anonymous
    10:45 12/09/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    Thats easy and you actually contradict yourself saying you beg to differ.

    Pretty girl + Ugly guy = guy is rich
    Ugly girl + Handsome guy = the guy might have very low standards but if he doesnt get rich soon, he will get the boot anyways

    "Men- #1: She ugly (depends on what you find to be ugly)
    Woman- #1: He has no money (depends on what your bank account has available, your opinion will not change these results)"

    Comment by Anonymous
    16:14 10/09/2011 # ! Good (+0.7)

    yeah I'm surprised that he's tight with money isn't high up on the list for women of things they don't like..

    no bish you can't have more money to spend on fkn shoes!!

    Comment by Anonymous
    16:48 10/09/2011 # ! Good (+0.8)

    It is a list of things women don't like about their boyfriends, which means it only applies to rich guys already spending millions on some girl.

    Avatar of Makoto
    Comment by Makoto
    15:43 11/09/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    Probably because you think most women actually spend thousands on shoes.

    Avatar of Dia
    Comment by Dia
    18:17 10/09/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    I Japan the women presumably control the money.

    Avatar of OTIKA
    Comment by OTIKA
    08:58 11/09/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    And people wonder why fertility rate is terrible as of the year 2000.

    Avatar of kintama00
    Comment by kintama00
    15:42 10/09/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    omg I'm a woman than -.-"

    Comment by Anonymous
    03:29 11/09/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    Even an ugly woman can get a man but a poor man can't get a woman.

    Avatar of kumesana
    Comment by kumesana
    23:07 12/09/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    He can get to fuck her as long as the woman's official owner doesn't complain, though.

    Avatar of SaltyPenguin
    Comment by SaltyPenguin
    15:26 10/09/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    True, and 'proven' in a few past lists.

    Comment by Anonymous
    23:13 10/09/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    If she was ugly, she wouldn't be your lover...
    If he had no money, he wouldn't have been the lover...

    Comment by Anonymous
    20:28 10/09/2011 # ! Good (+0.8)

    Anger is an emotion. Of course you'd be emotional when angry...

    Comment by Anonymous
    19:22 10/09/2011 # ! Good (+0.6)

    Negative thinker! God I hope my mother wasn't like that. She gives me at least 10 bad ends scenarios before I do anything.

    Avatar of kittex
    Comment by kittex
    18:39 10/09/2011 # ! Good (+0.4)

    1. She becomes emotional when angry
    2. She’s a negative thinker
    3. She’s loose with her time
    4. Her room is dirty
    6. Her use of money
    7. She has a great many likes and dislikes

    This all is so fckn true, it's like post about my GF)

    Avatar of Phrantick
    Comment by Phrantick
    01:22 11/09/2011 # ! Good (+0.4)

    #5-His use of money.
    #5-He spends too much of his money on things other than me.

    I'm surprised it's not number 1.

    Comment by Anonymous
    20:26 10/09/2011 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    I just want my girl to tone her body a bit. That's all. Flatten her stomach and tighten her thighs and that'd be fine. She can keep her girly emotions and tendencies as I know how to read her like a book.

    Outside of that, I'm absolutely fine with her in every other aspect. She has absolutely no problem with my gaming and only wishes she had as much time to game as me, so between that and her sex drive, things are wonderful.

    Comment by Anonymous
    12:23 12/09/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    Obvious lying virgin is obvious. Women constantly react in unpredictable ways. If you're reading her like a book, then you're either gay and calling your partner "her" or she's post-op.

    Avatar of kumesana
    Comment by kumesana
    23:15 12/09/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    Whoever says that girls are unpredictable, period, usually says that people are unpredictable.

    Guess what: just because you're unable of simple things doesn't mean we're all unable of it. I admit you have to alter your usual thought patterns to read most women clearly, but it's doable. That's the same with recursive or multithreaded programming. You need to think it in a completely crazy way, and you can't do it because you're not interested, but it's easy and some of us can.

    Avatar of Momoyo
    Comment by Momoyo
    15:04 10/09/2011 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    #0 - No one cares

    Comment by Anonymous
    18:12 10/09/2011 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    Poor little Momoyo; apparently some people do. Sorry to burst you bubble, but take a look at real life. There are entire magazines devoted to this kind of thing.

    And even If you don't care - I have little to nothing of interrest in the matter. So as they say: stfu - and listen.

    Comment by Anonymous
    19:30 10/09/2011 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    24. He talks about others of his sex a lot


    Comment by Anonymous
    02:21 11/09/2011 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    lmao he's quick to cry? First women complain about not crying then they complain about being to quick to cry make your minds up!

    Comment by Anonymous
    03:26 11/09/2011 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    Women never complain about men not crying. That's some shit men made up when they try to tell other men what women want, instead of just asking the women themselves.

    Think logically for one second. Who the hell wants to see their partner cry?

    Comment by Anonymous
    15:06 10/09/2011 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    straight up.. this bullshit is getting old

    Avatar of milknhoney
    Comment by milknhoney
    15:19 10/09/2011 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    "25. She tosses about whilst sleeping"

    What. What the hell are you going to do, tie her to the bed? Unless she's punching the guy in her sleep, I see no problem with this.

    Avatar of Lunar Archivist
    Comment by Lunar Archivist
    08:23 11/09/2011 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    "What the hell are you going to do, tie her to the bed?"

    "Honey, let's try some bondage play..."

    Avatar of Yoshii-kun
    Comment by Yoshii-kun
    16:16 10/09/2011 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    "5. His use of money"

    If its not for her sake, invalid.

    Avatar of uber phallas
    Comment by uber phallas
    15:14 10/09/2011 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    27. His cooking ability

    It is better to be a man because if he can cook he is treasure, but if a women can cook, that's just what she have to do!

    Avatar of Hayate
    Comment by Hayate
    15:30 10/09/2011 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    not necessarily good, if a man do a loli he's doomed but a girl and shota, just minor damage...

    fuck all that feminist...

    Comment by Anonymous
    15:35 10/09/2011 # ! Neutral (+0.4)

    if a man breathes the same air as a loli, he's doomed


    Avatar of Bravo
    Comment by Bravo
    16:56 10/09/2011 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    more dangerous than secondhand smoke

    Comment by Anonymous

    Whiny men who are always attributing every little thing to feminism are NOT attractive. Man up and stop being a whiny bitch.

    Avatar of HouseLife
    Comment by HouseLife
    18:16 10/09/2011 # ! Good (+0.6)

    @ Anon 16:26

    Forced to agree in general there. There's a world-wide epidemic of over reaction to some things that really should NOT be overreacted to. It's like the irony of our security situation at the airports, otherwise 'the terrorists win.'

    They've already won. Most of the supposed ringleaders are dead, but their legacy of having fucked with western perceptions of safety will live on for generations. They did everything correctly and our dumb fucking moron 'leaders' allowed it all to happen.

    The same effect happens with over-reacting to anything relating to prostitution, pedophilia, or sexuality in general. If you make such things widely known and fear-based, all you do is make more and more people curious and aware of that it's presence, there to be examined.

    It's like an accident on the freeway. Everyone will stop to look. If pedophilia is shown on the news every other day, it will spread as people become more curious about the fact that it's showing up everywhere. And then the inflated fear will spread, and then it's a self-fulfilling prophecy as parents will see nothing but pedophiles and eventually those same people flooded with it will go 'screw it, if I'm being called one regardless of my actions, guess I must be one. Wonder what that means...'

    Fear does nothing but spiral things out of control, in every aspect. Trace anything at all that lacks any logic or has blame for one party or another, and I can point you toward the fear that caused it with minimal effort or research. It's that simple.

    Comment by Anonymous
    19:06 10/09/2011 # ! Neutral (+0.4)

    Oh, and to those who wonder how I knew he fucked his students... He asked. I had a "private" talk with him in his office. I didn't respond favorably. I failed his class. Meanwhile a girl who had been having private talks with him for the first few days of the semester came out, announced that she would be getting an A, and then never showed up for that class for the rest of the year... and she passed. It was not merely suspicion, before anyone pulls that card.

    Comment by Anonymous
    16:26 10/09/2011 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    If there wasn't overwhelming evidence that it was a problematic double standard, you might have a point. But the stories keep coming in about men being thrown in jail for stupid shit like saying hello as they walk by or giving directions to a little girl. And in almost every case of prostitution, the female gets off completely free while the male ends up arrested. That is an absurd double standard that is in no way defensible.

    Comment by Anonymous
    12:24 12/09/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    I have nothing to add to this conversation, so I take a small bow.

    Comment by Anonymous
    10:11 12/09/2011 # ! Neutral (0)


    My argument has nothing to do whatsoever with punishment for legitimate crimes. It has to do with the double standard and lack of accountability when a female holds equal responsibility for breaking the law and/or the overreaction to non-issues in society at large. If I saw a child crying in a mall, looking like they were lost, in all honesty, I would hesitate to run over and help her. I would probably have to find a female employee and point the child out to avoid being seen as a pervert or kidnapper. If it was a women who walked over to help the child, no one would worry or say a damn thing, and that's fucked up.

    I'm sorry if you had a shitty experience and an actual pervert wasn't punished for his crimes, but the societal issue is a real and increasingly problematic one, and not just relegated to a single country. Fear mongering, particularly from the religious front, is going to systematically eradicate freedoms if this continues, and the fact that women are almost universally portrayed as the victim, regardless of the actual circumstances, does not help.

    Comment by Anonymous
    19:04 10/09/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    Your issues are with sensationalism and the culture mainstream media has created, not feminism. I dislike feminism too, but you cannot take one small outspoken group, or two, and claim they represent everything. Otherwise, animal activists are all murdering psychopaths- due to PETA and ALF. That line of thinking, mass generalization, makes no sense.

    That said, things are not as severe in the states as they are in japan... not nearly. It's true that in the US there have been mistakes- there will always be mistakes, in any country. But at the same time, due to the harsh environment created by people who think all women are fakers, whores, sluts etc it becomes impossible for real victims to speak up without becoming even more persecuted by their peers and the media.

    Although it wont change anything, I also have personal experiences to prove that the whole "loli" thing is not as bad as everyone makes it out to be in the states as well. It's not how you think- in this case, I was the loli. The gym teacher in our highschool was pretty open about the fact that he fucked his students, only the prettiest and only the youngest. He would frequently send us out to practice some sport and then take a few students inside for private tutoring, or so he said. When I got sick of his BS, and his favoritism (the girls who fucked him got to do anything they wanted, those that didnt failed the class and were yelled at), I tried to report it. They stuck me alone, in a room, with the bitchiest dean and him, staring me down, and told me to repeat what I had said earlier. I was young, and scared, and I couldnt.

    Despite my hesitation the school was legally obligated to investigate the case... and they did, for about 2 days. Nothing happened to the teacher, he was not fired, the only thing they did was move me from his class into a class with a female teacher instead.

    I've had other experiences, where I've been flashed as a child by older men, and in our neighborhood a few children were abducted as well. These men, if they are caught, usually just get the minimum sentence. The US is very unlike japan in this regard. Personally, as someone who has been through these things, I do think that the punishment should be harsher... but of course, my thinking that must just be part of the feminist agenda, right? Even though I hate the feminist movement myself, and in fact am a bit of a chauvinist.

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