“How To Snag An Otaku Gamer Boyfriend”

how-to-attract-otaku-gamers

An article concerning which games women looking to snag a hot otaku boyfriend should feign familiarity with has lately been attracting derision from gamers – with such gems as “be sure to say how cute Blanka is!”, it is not hard to see why.

The article:

Otaku may have had a bad image for some time, but these days everyone plays games and reads manga.

Even a really hot and stylish guy may be into a few games – we’ll introduce a few game titles sure to let you close the distance with a boy you’ve got your eye on:

LVL 1. A must for all! “Dragon Quest”

Even girls know Dragon Quest… if the conversation turns to DQ, be sure to immediately comment on how cute the slimes are!

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LVL 2. A game with a high proportion of hot players! “Final Fantasy”

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Be sure to take note of this one – Final Fantasy is lately going all out with visual-kei taste. Make sure you comment on how cute the chocobo are!

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LVL 3. Everyone loves it! “Street Fighter”

All guys love Street Fighter. Make sure you know it. Try to make sure you can say whether you prefer Ken or Ryu, and if you say “Blanka’s so cute isn’t he!” you’ll surely sound like a pro.

[…]

LVL 4. Lots of hardcore players play it! “Metal Gear Solid”

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Ensure you can say “I’d really fall for a man like Snake!” Also, he’ll surely think you’re cute if you say something like “You’d so get busted trying that with a cardboard box, wouldn’t you?”

[…]

LVL 5. The music is great too! “Chrono Trigger”

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You want to be able to say how great the field music is!

[…]

Fortunately for those not keen on forever having to pretend to like games just to keep a boyfriend, there is already a guide concerning how to force men to give up their gaming once they have been secured.

The general opinion seems to be that there may be more efficacious means of achieving the same results:

“Who cares what you know, most would be happy just that you’re showing an interest!”

“The only otaku guys women will bother approaching are hot guys. They won’t come near us!”

“It’s never going to happen!”

“What’s with this retro selection. Try it with Bayonetta.”

“Real otaku are probably going to have much more obscure tastes than this selection…”

“I’d think talking like that about something you nothing about would be more annoying than anything else.”

“The basic work is anything by Key.”

“The creepy otaku who rejoice at seeing this article are seriously creepy.”

“There are guys who try to use their interest in BL to appeal to fujoshi, but it is basically lame.”

“I remember that story about someone’s elder sister who approached her brother about learning BF and COD so she could marry an FPS otaku she had her eye on…”

“Don’t forget not all otaku are into games. What are you going to do if he is a train otaku?”

“If she likes a guy and wants to learn about games to get closer to him, what’s wrong with that?”

“Blanka’s so cute isn’t he!”

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