“How To Snag An Otaku Gamer Boyfriend”

how-to-attract-otaku-gamers.jpg

An article concerning which games women looking to snag a hot otaku boyfriend should feign familiarity with has lately been attracting derision from gamers – with such gems as “be sure to say how cute Blanka is!”, it is not hard to see why.

The article:

Otaku may have had a bad image for some time, but these days everyone plays games and reads manga.

Even a really hot and stylish guy may be into a few games – we’ll introduce a few game titles sure to let you close the distance with a boy you’ve got your eye on:

LVL 1. A must for all! “Dragon Quest”

Even girls know Dragon Quest… if the conversation turns to DQ, be sure to immediately comment on how cute the slimes are!

[…]

LVL 2. A game with a high proportion of hot players! “Final Fantasy”

[…]

Be sure to take note of this one – Final Fantasy is lately going all out with visual-kei taste. Make sure you comment on how cute the chocobo are!

[…]

LVL 3. Everyone loves it! “Street Fighter”

All guys love Street Fighter. Make sure you know it. Try to make sure you can say whether you prefer Ken or Ryu, and if you say “Blanka’s so cute isn’t he!” you’ll surely sound like a pro.

[…]

LVL 4. Lots of hardcore players play it! “Metal Gear Solid”

[…]

Ensure you can say “I’d really fall for a man like Snake!” Also, he’ll surely think you’re cute if you say something like “You’d so get busted trying that with a cardboard box, wouldn’t you?”

[…]

LVL 5. The music is great too! “Chrono Trigger”

[…]

You want to be able to say how great the field music is!

[…]

Fortunately for those not keen on forever having to pretend to like games just to keep a boyfriend, there is already a guide concerning how to force men to give up their gaming once they have been secured.

The general opinion seems to be that there may be more efficacious means of achieving the same results:

“Who cares what you know, most would be happy just that you’re showing an interest!”

“The only otaku guys women will bother approaching are hot guys. They won’t come near us!”

“It’s never going to happen!”

“What’s with this retro selection. Try it with Bayonetta.”

“Real otaku are probably going to have much more obscure tastes than this selection…”

“I’d think talking like that about something you nothing about would be more annoying than anything else.”

“The basic work is anything by Key.”

“The creepy otaku who rejoice at seeing this article are seriously creepy.”

“There are guys who try to use their interest in BL to appeal to fujoshi, but it is basically lame.”

“I remember that story about someone’s elder sister who approached her brother about learning BF and COD so she could marry an FPS otaku she had her eye on…”

“Don’t forget not all otaku are into games. What are you going to do if he is a train otaku?”

“If she likes a guy and wants to learn about games to get closer to him, what’s wrong with that?”

“Blanka’s so cute isn’t he!”


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    204 Comments
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    Avatar of Naked Flame
    Comment by Naked Flame
    07:30 08/09/2011 # ! Quality (+1.0)

    Would anyone like some pound cake?

    Avatar of Tex_Arcana
    Comment by Tex_Arcana
    07:32 08/09/2011 # ! Quality (+1.0)

    I'd like some pound cake!!!

    Avatar of Nano
    Comment by Nano
    11:12 08/09/2011 # ! Quality (+0.8)

    You'd like some pound cake?

    SURE YOU CAN!

    Comment by Anonymous
    13:21 08/09/2011 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    The CAKE IS A LIE!!!

    Comment by Anonymous
    15:29 08/09/2011 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    There's always room for cake ^_^

    And FYI, my steady girlfriend of the last 6 years was the one who got me into gaming.
    And she's the hot one, LOLs.

    Comment by Anonymous
    23:00 08/09/2011 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    can i have a cream cake>????

    Comment by Anonymous
    11:08 08/09/2011 # ! Good (+0.6)

    Sonic... BOOBS!

    Comment by Anonymous
    11:25 08/09/2011 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    that would be great...
    make sure you will hit my face

    Comment by Anonymous
    22:09 08/09/2011 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    I am more of a pudding person.
    But never had them, pass me some.

    Comment by Anonymous
    10:52 08/09/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    So can I have the pound cake now?

    Comment by Anonymous
    11:00 08/09/2011 # ! Neutral (+0.4)

    SURE YOU CAN!

    Comment by Anonymous

    I only eat the 454g cake anyways

    Comment by Anonymous

    The cake is a lie.

    There is NO cake.

    Comment by Anonymous
    02:38 09/09/2011 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    YES WE CAN

    Avatar of Megidola
    Comment by Megidola
    07:08 08/09/2011 # ! Quality (+1.0)

    These kinds of comments would only sound dumb and annoying.

    The girl would be better off just saying something like "I haven't played this game, can you explain it/ teach me etc?"

    Or talk about a game they're actually familiar with. If they don't know anything about games, why do they even want a gamer boyfriend in the first place?

    Avatar of Maytaurus
    Comment by Maytaurus
    23:17 08/09/2011 # ! Good (+0.4)

    I died on purpose!
    Don't think I have no knowledge about games!

    Comment by Anonymous
    11:09 08/09/2011 # ! Neutral (+0.4)

    If the girl is expressing genuine interest, I will gladly show her the ropes and have her play for a while until she familiarizes herself, set some ground rules and SOPs and then Co-op it.

    Avatar of hauntedskin
    Comment by hauntedskin
    22:34 08/09/2011 # ! Good (+0.6)

    I bet you'd show her the ropes...the ones flying all over her T&A. Talk about a true Co-op.

    Comment by Anonymous
    09:49 10/09/2011 # ! Neutral (+0.4)

    i play mmos with my bf regularly. the trick is, if you're a girl, to very cutely ask him to help you in quests and stuff ;)

    i ask him to teach me how to play tekken, he asks me to teach him how to play technika. it's a nice system we have going on.

    Comment by Anonymous
    06:06 10/09/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    Well, i've had a killer one who said she loved watching other people play... she was so cute, and she wasn't lying either, she actually got pretty excited and pumped with the story and the fights.
    But yeah, these kind of comment sure are stupid and fake, but well, seems like some japs are like that.

    Comment by Anonymous
    06:38 10/09/2011 # ! Drivel (-0.8)

    Stop lying, douche. You've never had a girlfriend and if you did, she was fat and far from cute. So please, enough with your sad otaku fantasies.

    Your comment was stupid and fake, and you didn't even have to be Japanese, so there goes your theory, fuckstick.

    Comment by Anonymous
    06:47 10/09/2011 # ! Neutral (+0.4)

    Rage much?

    Comment by Anonymous
    07:29 08/09/2011 # ! Drivel (-0.8)

    This would be a terrible mistake. Sounding interested in games is completely different than actually caring what they are. I'm only slightly a gaming nerd, but I do enjoy them. I have a friend that is a hardcore otaku and game nerd. I made the mistake of talking about RPGs once and got stuck listening to him explain every single game mechanic of every RPG game he has ever played. I had to listen for literally hours. Eventually I feigned a headache just so I could get out of there. Girls would have much less an attention span.

    Comment by Anonymous
    08:40 08/09/2011 # ! Neutral (+0.3)

    You don't sound like much of a friend, to be honest.

    Comment by Anonymous
    10:52 08/09/2011 # ! Good (+0.8)

    I dont know where people get this misconception- just because you are friends/family does not mean you are obligated to listen to any bullshit the other wants to prattle on about.

    If someone is not interested they will usually show it one way or another, if you have the slightest bit of social experience you'll be able to pick up body language and, if you're not a self centered ass, change the subject.

    I too have a friend who tends to ramble, I've gotten so used to it that I kinda tune it out, but he has learned to realize by now when I'm interested and when I'm not. Friendship isnt "You listen to what I want for as long as I want you to"- that's why counselors exist.

    Comment by Anonymous
    01:04 09/09/2011 # ! Neutral (+0.4)

    No no no, see when you're GOOD friend, you're supposed to ramble TOGETHER.

    Avatar of Kaze
    Comment by Kaze
    11:11 08/09/2011 # ! Quality (+1.0)

    How to snag an otaku gamer boyfriend: The easy version

    1. Say you want an otaku gamer boyfriend.
    2. profit!

    Comment by Anonymous
    10:15 08/09/2011 # ! Quality (+1.0)

    Metal Gear Solid?

    Comment on how solid his snake is.

    Okay, sorry. It had to be done.

    Avatar of Mauvais
    Comment by Mauvais
    19:42 08/09/2011 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    Actually, if a girl did her best Snake impression, saying, "METAL GEAR!?" I might fall for it.

    Comment by Anonymous
    03:03 09/09/2011 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    Im pretty good at doing a Snake Impression, if i do say so myself. XD;

    Avatar of Alexeon
    Comment by Alexeon
    13:02 09/09/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    LOL I think everyone has done the (-gruff voice-) "Metal Gear" thing at least a couple of times. :D

    Comment by Anonymous
    21:31 09/09/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    I do it all the time.. xD; *is a huge MGS fan*

    Comment by Anonymous
    10:53 08/09/2011 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    MY snake is way more solid :D

    Comment by Anonymous
    11:16 08/09/2011 # ! Good (+0.6)

    These kind of comments will cause your snake never getting naked...

    Comment by Anonymous
    22:36 08/09/2011 # ! Neutral (+0.4)

    That's a Solid argument you have here.

    Comment by Anonymous
    01:47 15/09/2011 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    To bad he'll never get to the snake eater boss...

    Avatar of Benoist
    Comment by Benoist
    19:35 08/09/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    and after some time, you get some Liquid ?

    Avatar of moqadmodar
    Comment by moqadmodar
    23:36 08/09/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    Solid Snake
    i believe it is a game about some old guy who loves to sneak around and get it on with some minor girl, no?

    Avatar of kanbanmusume
    Comment by kanbanmusume
    07:55 08/09/2011 # ! Quality (+0.9)

    I think a girl is better off not pretending to like games if she really doesn't. Once the conversation gets to a certain depth she'll either come across as silly or insincere.

    If she's interested but not knowledgable, say so! I'm sure the guy will be more than happy to explain the game in detail. If you don't care about games you better look elsewhere for a boyfriend or you'll always be in competition with them for time and attention.

    I've owned everything from a SNES to a PS3 so I've never had the problem myself.

    Avatar of Shippoyasha
    Comment by Shippoyasha
    17:32 08/09/2011 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    I actually think it'd sound like you're pandering to them to pretend you know something you really don't or to say 'something is cute' without a proper context.

    Any relationship should begin with mutual understanding and respect. Feigning love for something just sounds a bit awkward to me. Even if it's good intentioned.

    Avatar of yaku
    Comment by yaku
    14:08 08/09/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    I absolutely agree. As a girl gamer, I find these kind of tips offensive. If you like games, the last thing you think about is whether a character is cute or not (ok maybe not last, but definitely not first), you think about playing and beating the game.

    Comment by Anonymous
    01:35 09/09/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    even if a certain character does happen to be cute if i heard somebody constantly chirping on about how so and so or X or Y were cute I'd get pretty ticked off haha - My advice a) ask what level his or her character is b) ask about his or her special abilities c) play the damn game yourself - even if you just play it for 10 mins you'll get an idea of what it's about d) Don't look down on otaku

    Comment by Anonymous
    09:51 10/09/2011 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    i believe the article was aimed at nongamers. real girl gamers would have a completely different approach to capturing men - like say kicking their ass at a game, i find that usually impresses them.

    asking otaku how to play is usually a very good conversation starter as long as you're genuinely interested in the game.

    Comment by Anonymous
    09:36 08/09/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    what would such a girl when she hears "nice boat"?

    Avatar of SpideyPHL
    Comment by SpideyPHL
    10:49 08/09/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    Sounds pretty right to me. Really, most of my friends are gamers, and some are really good with the ladies (I myself am average, but my cousin borders on womanizer sometimes). I can say fairly confidently that, no matter how attractive the guy or easily he gets women, even showing an unknowing but sincere interest in gaming is a great boost to the image of a woman in a gamer guy's eyes. It's the same with any hobby, being able to talk with someone about mutual interests usually makes things go a lot smoother.

    Faking it may work short term I guess, but that kind of thing will get found out eventually, and as you say you don't want to be competing with a hobby you don't care about for your man's time.

    Comment by Anonymous
    13:53 08/09/2011 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    However! If she later confesses about her faking all that 'knowledge' for the sake of getting close to her love interest, now that should sway any guy right? I'd be.

    Comment by Anonymous
    00:36 09/09/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    I will be swayed if she became a really good tackler flying an interceptor for my sake.

    Avatar of Aisaka Taiga
    Comment by Aisaka Taiga

    likewise motherfucker...likewise

    Comment by Anonymous
    07:03 08/09/2011 # ! Good (+0.8)

    This list should have had Silent Hill on it if only for the "make sure you comment on how cute X is" part.

    Avatar of Megidola
    Comment by Megidola
    07:17 08/09/2011 # ! Quality (+1.0)

    Should have SMT/ Persona on the list too.

    Foolproof comment: "Isn't Mara cute? Maybe you could summon it for me..."

    Avatar of SaltyPenguin
    Comment by SaltyPenguin
    16:01 08/09/2011 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    Really surprised they didn't make room for SMT/Persona, they're obviously awesome enough.

    Avatar of Satonaka
    Comment by Satonaka
    17:58 08/09/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    Oh yeah now were getting into Mara from those games... well played XD

    Comment by Anonymous
    23:06 10/09/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    Ive beaten P2,P3,P3P,& P4. And i Don't know who the fux Mara is D:?







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