Why You Should Never Trust a Webcam

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Japanese fans of top NicoNico Douga idol “Yuzuka-hime” are agog at her first TV appearance, with many vowing never to trust a webcam again as long as they live (and others vowing to buy whatever model it is she uses).

Yuzuka-hime’s fame stems from regular appearances on NicoNico Douga’s live broadcasts, netting her millions of views and the kind of niche celebrity which goes along with this.

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With slight fame comes the opportunity to exploit otaku with nothing better to spend their money on:

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However, all that unravelled in spectacular fashion with her first TV appearance:

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The reaction:

“Who the hell is this?”

“On TV she looks totally different:”

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“This isn’t the Yuzuka-hime I know!”

“Is it the wide screen?”

“This is mother and daughter, right?”

“It’s hard to praise this.”

“You might let her do you for $25 I suppose.”

“The one on TV is the real thing, the other one is shopped up.”

“Nico have been fiddling the aspect ratio, haven’t they?”

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“I don’t know…”

“How old is she?”

“A common woman who’s called cute looks like this. Actresses and idols who can stand up to HDTV resolution are pretty amazing really.”

“ARRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGH… Give me back my youth!”

“Her body is dirty, definitely below average.”

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“What’s up with that sloppy body? Just how old is she?”

“Damn, she looks even worse than my girlfriend. Net idols are like this.”

“She cannot really be in her teens? She looks far too nasty…”

“She got sick of people saying that and actually showed her passport. She really is 18.”

“She’s really 18? I feel sorry for her…”

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“The gilt has worn off! Serves you right, Nico-tards!”

“She looks like my mother.”

“This is worse than the swindles they pull on AV covers.”

“Anything goes if she has boobs, eh?”

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“When is her SOD debut, I wonder?”

“She looked cute because she was hanging her head down all the time to conceal its contours, I reckon.”

“Whatever webcam she uses is just going to be flying off the shelves.”

“Aren’t webcams amazing?”

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