Shinkansen, China Style
- Categories: International, News
- Date: Jul 28, 2011 04:07 JST
- Tags: Accidents, Bizarre, China, Made in China, Parody, Trains
After the terrible accident on China’s shiny new high speed rail system, some passengers appear to be taking no chances.
China’s Internet denizens have also devised a list of essentials to take on any high speed rail trip in China:
A hammer for breaking glass
A first-aid kit
Emergency rations
Accident insurance
Last will & testament
Prayer beads











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so um i guess this is what you call dark humour right...?
Prayer beads... haha
Fantastic, I think China's equivalent to FEMA would approve.
Where's the anti explosion kit?
it exploded
Remember also to wear a fresh pair of underwear so that you do not shame your family when they find your corpse after the train explodes.
Believe me, when the train begins to crash, your underwear will immediately become stinky and dirty, so it's no use.
I think it's still a bit too soon to be making jokes about the accident that happened, but that is hilarious! XD
I mean look at the way he's gripping the seat belt! LOL
normally such an essentials kit would be thought up for more.... post-apocalyptic situations. Or at least a homeland military invasion.
kudos china, on making peacetime as scary as wartime.
It's to keep people on their toes.
That prayer beads is a life-saver
Prayer beads will probably end up causing the death.
By exploding to the passenger's face?
prayer beads: can be used as anal beads in an emergency
Yes, the Rubix cube is absolutely essential when waiting to be rescued. Need to spend the time somehow right?
In wartime, their tank's ammonition will be cooked, before shooting the enemy.
Last will & testament..
so in China, riding a high speed train equivalent to death?
nope, it equates to dancing, spiting and basically giving death the finger while giving it a back-handed slap
What if it blows up?
D'oh! >.<
Then wear a bomb suit on top of all those.
Pai Mei sez:
"Prayer beads are for serious meditation, not for wrapping around your ass as you kiss it goodbye."
It doesn't matter whether they're prayer beads or anal beads, 'cause neither one is gonna save your ass in a train crash.
Neither that helmet who makes you look like a RETARD.
So retards & fags DOWNvoted my coment? Can one of those retards explain how can a helmet can help in a train crash when some times bodies are SO DAMAGED they can't even be recognized?
The same reason why you wear one while riding a bike or a motorcycle.
I don't think they downvoted you because you were wrong, they downvoted you because your too harsh (asshole).
No, they're right. You're wrong.
The highest estimate of fatalities and injuries I've seen is 43 and 211 respectively -- in other words, the vast majority of passengers were 'unharmed' as far as official records are concerned.
The probability that injuries to the brain caused most of the more serious damage is high, as in major collisions the protective capabilities of the skull are often less-than-sufficient -- that is, unless the skull has high-level calcium deposits all over. Accordingly, wearing a helmet provides a nice protective barrier that can save you from death and the likeliest sources of major injuries.
Then there's the special case of a person with a highly trained body. Due to the size/thickness of their muscles and bones, damage to their body is often insufficient in causing any serious damage - however, damage to their skull is different. The obvious solution for them is -you know it- a helmet.
There's also the case of Shaolin monks and people who train their necks by working against pressure applied on their head. Although they're the likeliest to survive without a helmet, I'd still recommend that they wear one in high-risk situations.
At least with the anal beads, your going out in style
Probably he'll use it to a dead passenger young girl(or he's lucky a loli) let say Necrophilia.
its also for praying as it helps you focus. i dont know anyone who can pray with a shit ton of distraction around them, in this case, a train crash caused by "lighting"(electrical malfunction)
I think Master Pai Mei would say "A Shaolin can walk through walls".
So they acknowledge the next one will explode?
Cannot wait to see the fire rockets!
to kanbanmusume:
don't think, it ruins your good looks, baby.
If you are riding a fireball flying off track at 300km/h then you should be looking for a way to secure yourself to some object which is unlikely to fly off during the inevitable crash instead of "focusing" on a pagan sex toy.
Meaning: Religious trinkets won't save you if you only see them as a good luck charm.
How about a KNIFE or a hidden blade(to make sure its not detected by inspection guard) Why???
SO YOU CAN STAB YOURSELF TO END YOUR PAIN UNDER THE RUBBLE, DUMB-ASS CHINESE!!!
Just a helmet? I was expecting full-on body armor or giant cushions covering all sides.
he's missing a HANS device
Rubix Cube - to make you forget you're actually riding a train.
ur face said it all
First-aid kit should include pain pills and antibiotics.
Also a flashlight, something warm to wear and an additional bottle of water.
I'm laughing so hard right now, he's even wearing a helmet.
...and a Rubix Cube for entertainment.
Better yet, send a Hellraiser Puzzle Cube to the head of the Ministry of Railways so he can have a nice chat with Cenobite Pinhead and the gang!
Or the Homer Simpson head rubix. I still can't finish it...
You forgot the Rubix cube and the iPod Nano.
Those are the most important ones of all.
Still not enough protection I'd suggest waring this armored suit and even that may not be enough.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xqa08UGZGtk
I have loled
Prayer Beads cracked me up xD
Really I thought the 'Last will & testament' part pretty funny, as it would seem this'll be your last train ride anywhere.
Are they going to applaud and cheer every time they successfully reach their destination like many people seem to do on airplanes as well?
It's really annoying when they do it on the airplane!