China “World’s Happiest Nation”


China has been judged the world’s happiest nation in a new international ranking of national welfare.

The ranking, as compiled by the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea:

1. China (100 points)

2. North Korea (98 points)

3. Cuba (93 points)

4. Iran (88 points)

5. Venezuela (85)

Last at 203rd is the “American Empire” with a pathetic 3 points.

North Korea’s high placement is attributed to the fact that “the state provides free housing, food, clothing healthcare, and other necessities, whilst jobs are allocated by the state so there is no worry of unemployment.”

Incidentally, the capitalist roadsters at the OECD recently harnessed the power of flowers to rank Canada as the all-round best off running dog nation:


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    Avatar of Cyle
    Comment by Cyle
    12:23 30/05/2011 # ! Quality (+1.0)

    "I feel happy!!!!"

    Who do they expect will actually believe this? "You're happy!", "I am?", "Yes! Yes you are!", "Can I leave?", "No!", "How about some internet access.....?"

    Comment by Anonymous
    13:10 30/05/2011 # ! Quality (+1.0)

    Oh, don't let them have internet. If they do they'll learn that they're not as well off as they were lead to believe.

    Comment by Anonymous
    15:17 30/05/2011 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    they have internet. it's just so censored they might as well not have internet. keep in mind they kinda need internet to farm our gold.

    Comment by Anonymous
    16:30 30/05/2011 # ! Good (+0.6)

    Shippoyasha, I don't think you really understand China at all... it's a nation of great extremes. Generalizing it is nearly impossible.

    Avatar of Shippoyasha
    Comment by Shippoyasha
    17:34 30/05/2011 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    Ah, sorry. I was trying to refer to North Korea alone and I forget we were talking about China. XD

    But yeah, China's major problem is the censorship and governmental crackdown that is one of the most violent in the known world.

    It's kind of a funny thing since female CEOs are on a major rise in China. But that's like... one of the very few progression their social rights have had.

    I can only blame the draconic government. I feel for the Chinese and NK people too.

    Avatar of Shippoyasha
    Comment by Shippoyasha
    16:11 30/05/2011 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    They DO NOT have computers though.. Did you even see how their 'videogame arcades' are? They use the machines from the 70's and it's all knockoffs and bootlegs.

    A shocking 100% of their 'wages' is coupons and 'necessity' allowances. All other profit goes straight to the government. So basically, their peoples have little to NO access to hobbies, no less foreign ones, EVER.

    I think you'd have to worry about the ability to have a computer and the ability to have a connection before worrying about the net censorship.

    Comment by Anonymous
    19:43 30/05/2011 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    If not China backing up a government like Kim's, it'll be much easier. Things should be done 50 years ago.

    Comment by Anonymous
    11:51 31/05/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    They have computers
    Its where 90% of the Hacking comes form lol
    State owned hacking
    A prospering industry determined on stealing defense secrets from certain airplane companies we know recently

    Avatar of BlaqCat
    Comment by BlaqCat
    06:00 31/05/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    Now now, I'm sure the CEOs of companies working with their goverment can do all the foreign hobbies they want...

    Comment by Anonymous
    23:49 31/05/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    On the contrary I come from China and it really isn't that bad.

    Avatar of 9lantern
    Comment by 9lantern
    23:39 31/05/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    North Korea have an intranet.

    Comment by Anonymous
    14:52 30/05/2011 # ! Quality (+1.0)

    ignorance is bliss...

    Avatar of LDC
    Comment by LDC
    17:23 30/05/2011 # ! Good (+0.6)

    War is peace
    Freedom is slavery
    Ignorance is strength

    Comment by Anonymous
    19:29 30/05/2011 # ! Good (+0.7)

    We are little tiny nothings on a miniscule ball of nothing, floating in a great and enormous cosmic nothing.

    War is nothing
    Peace is nothing
    Freedom is nothing
    Slavery is nothing
    Ignorance is nothing
    Strength is nothing

    All your failures and triumphs, all your joys and sorrows, all your hopes and dreams, your nightmares and despairs, all your loves and hatreds are but a passing of energy that vanishes as soon as it came, passing back into the infinite nothing.

    Fuck your existence, it's not worth anything, because the entirety of it all is just a big delusion. In 'reality' all that there is in the universe is nothing.

    Comment by Anonymous
    23:58 30/05/2011 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    You know that's quite applicable to anyone in metaphorical sense.

    Nationalists, Racists, Sexists, Age-ists, Weeaboo's, Japanophiles, Homophobes, Xenophobes etc...

    Comment by Anonymous
    21:40 30/05/2011 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    There is nothing but decay.

    Nurgle is right.

    Comment by Anonymous
    11:52 31/05/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    So as a mindfuck
    Would the existence of only nothing mean it is something

    Comment by Anonymous
    11:58 31/05/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    you forgot 2+2=5

    Comment by Anonymous
    07:48 31/05/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    /人◕ ‿‿ ◕人\ he's right your existence is pointless. so just make a contract with me and have fun being a mahou shoujo!<3

    Comment by Anonymous
    19:54 30/05/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    Ahh, classic

    Comment by Anonymous
    21:34 30/05/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    @anon 14:52 As long as the ignorant is stupid enough

    Comment by Anonymous
    03:14 31/05/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    Ignorance always win if the ignorant is stupid, hence their path towards destruction.

    Avatar of Kazol Orajia
    Comment by Kazol Orajia
    11:59 30/05/2011 # ! Quality (+1.0)

    They're only happy because they'd be shot if they said they said they were unhappy.

    Avatar of ItsDemo
    Comment by ItsDemo
    12:26 30/05/2011 # ! Quality (+1.0)

    you mean they're happy that they're not shot yet.

    Avatar of Elcachetondelpuro
    Comment by Elcachetondelpuro
    14:45 30/05/2011 # ! Quality (+1.0)

    If they where really unhappy they won't care for that bullet in the head =D

    Comment by Anonymous
    05:39 31/05/2011 # ! Good (+0.8)

    no, if they said they were unhappy, they'd be sent to prison to mine gold for us american gamers

    Comment by Anonymous
    22:45 30/05/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    someone else will instead

    Comment by Anonymous
    23:45 30/05/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    Someone could always fill the survey for them

    Comment by Anonymous
    16:35 30/05/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    But then they couldn't fill in the survey.

    Comment by Anonymous
    04:01 04/06/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    As a Cuban I can say that everyone except the communist which is probably 90% of the nation would rather not live in Cuba and are in no way happy with their welfare.

    Comment by Anonymous
    01:16 31/05/2011 # ! Neutral (0)


    Besides, Mao = SATAN!

    Avatar of wang
    Comment by wang
    10:27 31/05/2011 # ! Neutral (+0.2)


    Comment by Anonymous
    05:20 31/05/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    mao = devil, satan = satan
    Jeez get it right, nubcake.

    Comment by Anonymous
    05:45 06/06/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    No, mao = devil, satan = santa
    You get it right, nubcake.

    Comment by Anonymous
    02:16 01/06/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    DO NEVER smear the great communist Korea!! Our great leader says that we are happiest in the world, so that's it!!! We are the happiest people on the world!!! By the way, what is "surveyor"?

    Comment by Anonymous
    04:35 01/06/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    Korea? Communist? Are you trolling or are you just completely retarded?

    Comment by Anonymous
    00:31 02/06/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    He's talking about North Korea. South Korea is sane and normal.

    Avatar of JAG
    Comment by JAG
    12:36 30/05/2011 # ! Quality (+0.8)

    Yup China's the happiest alright. Even the things are happy enough to explode.

    Comment by Anonymous
    13:02 30/05/2011 # ! Quality (+1.0)

    They're bursting with joy.

    Comment by Anonymous
    17:53 30/05/2011 # ! Quality (+1.0)

    even their melons do

    Comment by Anonymous
    22:45 30/05/2011 # ! Good (+0.8)

    Since China is so happy, we NEVER have ANY suicides in our country...

    Comment by Anonymous
    21:17 30/05/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    Because there's a huge pressure acting against your weight, and the pressure is explosive gases waiting to be released explosively.

    Comment by Anonymous
    20:00 30/05/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    saw on the news that they have rock hard watermelons now. it wouldn't burst even if u stand on it.

    Comment by Anonymous
    17:53 30/05/2011 # ! Good (+0.6)

    Couldn't contain their excitement?


    Comment by Anonymous
    21:39 30/05/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    Even Toilets!

    Avatar of Mizushima 水島
    Comment by Mizushima 水島
    02:35 31/05/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    even the chairs

    Avatar of KuroDubZero
    Comment by KuroDubZero
    12:25 30/05/2011 # ! Good (+0.6)

    They should ask the citizens if they think it's the happiest place on earth.

    Comment by Anonymous
    12:23 30/05/2011 # ! Good (+0.6)

    Wow they found enough happy Americans to get 3 points.
    I thought most of us were spoiled enough that we could have a job that paid 1 million an hour, be followed around all day by girls who give blow jobs on demand, never have to pay taxes, invent food tastier then has ever been made with 0 calories, live in 50 acre mansions and still find something to bitch about everyday.

    Comment by Anonymous
    12:46 30/05/2011 # ! Good (+0.7)

    Isn't that what makes America great? We're greedy bastards who are never satisfied.

    America, fuck yeah.

    Comment by Anonymous
    15:58 30/05/2011 # ! Neutral (+0.4)

    Yes. The fact that we're never satisfied is the reason that we do great things.

    Comment by Anonymous
    00:54 31/05/2011 # ! Neutral (+0.4)

    Necessity is the mother of invention.
    Or plagiarism in China's case.

    Comment by Anonymous
    17:23 31/05/2011 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    What's funny is how this has all come full circle.

    In the Past:
    China Invents > Japan Copies and Later Improves
    America Invents > Japan Copies and Later Improves
    Europe Invents > Japan Copies and Later Improves

    Japan Invents > Everyone Copies and Improves...Well Some Do.
    America Invents > Japan Copies...Improvement?
    China Invents > ....*Double Take*
    Europe > WTF Guys?

    Comment by Anonymous
    16:54 04/06/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    india Invents > china Copies and Later Improves
    French Invents > canada Copies and Later Improves
    Britain Invents > U.S. Copies and Later Improves

    All countries are copying.

    Comment by Anonymous
    17:30 30/05/2011 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    Greedy FAT bastards

    Comment by Anonymous
    14:20 30/05/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    Fuck yayeah!

    Comment by Anonymous
    20:40 30/05/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    Does this mean Americans are RAGEEEEEEing?

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