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Top 10 Qualities You’d Seek in a Wife but not a Girlfriend


A ranking of the qualities Japanese men seek in a wife but not a mere girlfriend seems to indicate marriage is viewed as a trade-off between gaining a housemaid and losing all freedom to engage in work or hobbies free from interference…

The ranking:

1. Kindness

2. Competence at housework

3. Understanding towards your work

4. Understanding towards your hobbies

5. Health

6. Seriousness

7. Desire for children

8. Composure

9. Not too interfering

10. Patience

Japanese men apparently view wives as little more than domestic servants with benefits, whilst women view husbands as get-out-of-work-free cards – a possible reason for the popularity of maids, who are in effect installment-plan wives without the hassle of a long-term contract, or any risk of hobby interference…

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  • Blah blah blah, men don’t care about love or personality but just want a subservient slave, blah blah blah, men and women are completely incompatible, blah blah blah FOREVER ALONE OKAY WE CAN MOVE ON NOW.

  • I don’t get why kuroneko’s so popular, she’s pretty bland overall. Anyone can come up with a give give character like her. Pleasing the majority of goth loli fans easily with a character like her. I’m still waiting for an original unique and interesting character.. Something that’s been done, but not over done. Something that has traits are different, but not different stupid or over the top. Interesting as in they’ll attract your attention and make you like them, but not with how they live but how they act.

  • I got married for two things, a mate ie someone to have sex with and offspring (I prefer to be married to the woman before having kids).

    It’s nice when a woman likes your hobbies but not required eh. But it is required I get equal time in what provides them (the family income). My wife enjoys being taken out to lunch, I like models. Both events run me about the same although a model is usually 2 lunches out in most cases. So I average 2-3 models a month and the wife goes out to lunch usually 1-2 times a week.

    We both do the housework. I’m better than her though.

    We both would rather be working, life made me take a different route. I was clearly healthy 25 years ago though. Hey many things can happen as you get older.

    I’m mostly liked for my crazy humour, I hate being ‘serious’.

    Interesting lack of mention of fidelity.

    Remember guys, marry right and you can be happy for life. But if you don’t want someone to fuck on a regular basis, you really only need a maid.

  • I don’t know why some people are saying that some are into 2d girls because there aren’t many intelligent 3d ones. It looks like the other way around to me. There are many intelligent girls in real life ,yet in anime intelligent girls are rare and most are airheads. The qualities listed above are all quite common in anime, manga and gal games. I can’t even think of many intelligent heroines that are popular amongst otaku.

  • Well to have a wife you have to have a girlfriend first…right? So how are they gonna ever get a wife with these qualities if they don’t get a girlfriend with these qualities first? Yet they don’t want girlfriends like that….

    I am confused. ):

    • Three words: Madonna/Whore complex. Sluts are sexy and you want to bang them (Whore) but you want a perfect pure housewife you can put on a pedestal to raise your children (Madonna). Because, obviously, no woman can be both sexually exciting and a good mother. /sarcasm

      Ah, sexism, where would the world be without you.

  • I’d like to comment that the most and truly important one is we [b]share the same or at least similar values, virtues, and vision/objectives[/b]

    Though, of course there are differences, especially how we see things,/the way of things work, I’d like a woman who can fill in my weakness, and I can fill in her weakness and we work with each other to reach the ‘paradise’ like together forever :p

  • Cynical commentary by Artefact, of course. My cooking is not great, so it’d be helpful if at least one of us could cook well. I’m more than willing to split the household chores if she’s willing to put up with me sucking at them though. Her being accepting of my gaming hobby is an absolute must, though, I’ve been gaming all my life and I am certainly not going to give that up for anyone.

    I don’t get it though, people don’t want kind, understanding girlfriends? I’m a fan of tsunderes but still.

  • I don’t understand. Why wouldn’t someone expect most of these from his girlfriend. Many of these are common virtues that are essential for living with someone for more than two weeks. Unless you want a short term relationship, many of these qualities are mandatory. Like 1,3,4,6,8,10.

  • wait

    “i want my wife to be kind, but not something i give a fuck about in a girlfriend”

    what person DOESN’T want kindness regardless of ANYTHING, and be for you mention a masochist, remember, you can be kind while being sadistic, think tsundere

  • Why get married at all? You can still love and care for each other all the same without the need for some overblown and expensive ceremony.

    Whether or not I wear a tuxedo does not and will not ever determine the amount of feeling I have for my woman at any one time. On that point, the girl I’m currently with is one of the few people outside of blood relatives that I would take a bullet for, because I love her so much. Or wait, should I have waited X number of years to get married before I felt that way? Of course not, that’s silly.

    At any rate:

    1. Keeps up her looks
    2. Keeps up with the sex
    3. Admits giant robots are cool
    4. Brings me tacos
    5. Snuggles
    6. Games as much as I do, given current RL responsibilities
    7. Inner strength
    8. Keeps up with the sex
    9. Likes girls with curves as much as I do
    10. Care about my well-being

    ….oh shit, I seek that in the partner I want AND I got it anyway. Me-1, Social Expectations-0

  • I hope the guys responding realize that while they read the girl’s answers, the girls don’t give a shit about the boy’s answers.

    The fact that housework is so high and patience is so low is fucking disgusting.

    • Proven wrong, right here. right now. I read what male commentors have to say. I think it’s important to see what struggles people have with thier relationships and why they choose to be single or why they’ve lost faith in women. Alot of times though I run into to comments that are so negative that they are completely discouraging and make me not want to post.

      Who really wants to deal with someone who says 3D is ugly and they’d rather have a 2D girl? Who wants to respond to all women are bitches who want money? Originally I always thought I would have to work and earn more money than my husband if I wanted to be in a successful relationship. I’m a pretty good darn cook too. But a place like this has too many predujuces against women. If I combated all the comments based on 3D women and based on what guys truly want in a relationship, I would be here all the time and come off as an obsessive femanist type.

      Honestly its not that I don’t care, or that other female commentors don’t care. But does any human really have the patience to comfort people on the internet who find a way to bash them in almost every post?

      A lot of these surveys that get the guys here discouraed are on japanese women don’t apply elsewhere, and don’t apply to everyone. Also when those japanese women fill out thier surveys and say they like this type of man, there are always still the women who say that they prefer the other type. Even if they are in the minority they do exisist. On those surveys with money rubbing answers, they’re are always the answers that put things like hobbies and personality and someone is voting for those answers.

      Users here can be very focused on the negative at times, I’m no different. But as long as some small percent of girls said they’d date an otaku then thats all that matter, the majority doesn’t. Unless of course you want a harem…then you’ll have to work hard~ even a 2D harem is costly…

    • …Imagine eating fastfood for the rest of your life… oh god the horror of it. I prefer homecook meals like my father does. Yes, my father is the cook of my family lol. The best my mom can do is prepare instant noodles but I still love her. Though my dad is always abroad and we have househelp do it for us.

        • >So, with everything that’s been said so far, do you think it’s possible for truly nice people to have a happy relationship with open and honest communication?

          Yeah, in fact it would be fine with assholes, normals or nice people. As long as you aren’t being coerced into becoming something that you are not and are happy with the relationship then it is all fine and dandy; in my eyes, you would be in a real happy relationship.

          My problem stems from the fact that in my eyes, generally all a relationship is, is a platform for the coercion of one partner by the other and vice versa; so generally in my eyes a relationship appears founded upon lies and deceit. But that’s just me, and I’m willing to admit my view is extreme to say the least.

          I hope this made sense(just to clarify and stress just in case: i’ve agreed with you), now g’night.

        • @spoon:

          I am saying this in as civil way as possible:

          You are a pretentious, immature kid with delusions of grandeur. You’re probably in your teens, and you think the world revolves around you and everything else is just there as background act. You’re probably thinking you’re some wounded, cynical hero in a life drama crushingly hounded by girls who’re just dying to save you from your tragic existence when in reality you’re just some emo piece of shit who’s desperately living on his own imagines and ideal world. One of these days, real life will knock you down and you’ll wonder why you haven’t spent the last couple of years becoming a real person instead of some dreamy fantasy world you created in your head.

          Girls are incredibly boring? Maybe it’s because you’ve been shutting them out, preferring to listen only to your own self-induced dramu. I could tell you about my friend who turned out to be an archery enthusiast, has won several regional archery contests, and can discuss in great length the different bows and what fletchings to use to get an arrow straight to a mark. Or I can tell you about this girl I met who has a vast collection of antiques from when she and her family were living in South Asia, and who can hold her own in a serious discussion about the intricacies of the Bhagavad Gita, among others.Or maybe you want to hear about this friend of mine who’s always kicked my (and everyone else I know) ass in any fighting game. I could tell you about others but why waste my time? You’re obviously convinced ALL GIRLS ARE BORING.

          Also, this reply of yours when I asked you how many relationships you’ve had:

          “None. I don’t see why I need to have had successful relationships to criticise your opinion on what a happy relationship is however.”

          Your opinion holds less than fucking squat when you don’t even have any experience on the matter. Who are you to fucking say that the relationships of other people are not true and honest when you yourself have never been in one? So what do you base it on? Oh yeah, your precious manga and anime. Well, whoop-de-fucking-do, if that was all it’d take, then the best experts in the world about relationships and fucking LIFE for that matter would be the otakus of the world. I mean I’m SURE everything you need to know about love and relationships you’ll learn by watching Toradora.

          Here’s a fact your deluded head may not know: people are not perfect. Men and women have these little idiosyncracies that makes them less than stellar but it’s these imperfections that make them compatible with their chosen partners. My dad is considered stern and stoic by his employees, but inside our house, my mom sees him for what he really is: a person who is quick to laugh and who has a great sense of humor, and maybe even a bumbling idiot sometimes. He doesn’t need to try and be the perfect manager because he knows that my mom will accept him no matter what. THAT is a true relationship, not that twisted idea you have in that stupid head of yours.

          TL;DR: get your act together and start seeing the world for what it really is, not this romantic, cynical view you have which makes you think you’re cool. You’re not. Far as most everyone is concerned, you’re just a fake and pretentious kid who’s hiding in his own little world, and those little ‘-‘ on your post rating is a testament to that.

          Grow up and smell the fucking roses. Then come back when you feel like you’re ready to talk like an adult.

        • @spoon:

          Well, I understand what you’re trying to say, in that no one should have to be someone they’re not just for someone else’s sake, but that seems to contradict your earlier claims that a truly happy relationship isn’t built on open and honest communication.

          If someone has things they want to say, but feels that they cannot for the sake of their relationship, then, yeah, they’re not having open and honest communication, and they’re going to be unhappy. In the examples you provided, though, the individuals were saying very rude/disrespectful/asshole-ish things to each other. For people who truly do not wish to be asshole-ish or disrespectful to their partner, it’s possible for them to have open and honest communication, and to be happy. That’s what I think, anyway. So, with everything that’s been said so far, do you think it’s possible for truly nice people to have a happy relationship with open and honest communication? I’m not looking for any specific answer–just looking to see what you think, since, like I said, I felt like your last post contradicted your earlier statements.

          Now I really do have to get going, because our car isn’t just going to fix itself… u_u;

        • >I know you said you’re done with this, but I just have to wonder why you seem to think all humans are naturally complete assholes without any manners/respect for others.

          I don’t think that at all. I just believe you have the right to be an asshole if you are or want to be an asshole. If you are a nice person you are a nice person. If you are an asshole you are an asshole. If you are [b]forced[/b] to act in a way just to keep your partner happy, then that would not be a happy relationship at all.

          If you wish to be nice, because you care about your partner, that’s great. If you are forced to act nice however, that is not so great. That’s really what I was trying to argue for.

          I duno in the end. Yeah, let’s just leave it at that.

          and thank you, I shall. ^.~ Though, my day is actually nearing its ending. :p

        • @spoon

          I know you said you’re done with this, but I just have to wonder why you seem to think all humans are naturally complete assholes without any manners/respect for others. Do you really think that anyone who treats others with respect or uses manners is just lying or being untrue to themselves? I understand what it’s like to be cynical about humanity, but I like to think that at least some of the people who are decent and respectful aren’t actually just being fake. Not everyone is a complete asshole beneath their kind exterior, or so I’d like to believe.

          I understand that you just have a different interpretation of “open and honest communication”. I do have to wonder how many people would agree with your interpretation, though. I’m not saying it’s wrong…just wondering how many people think the way you do–especially people who are in, or who have had, successful relationships.

          Maybe I should have spent a lot less time on this as well. 😛 In any case, I have stuff I have to go do now too, so, I’ll stop here as well. Have a nice day!

        • @patamon

          I wasn’t actually telling you guys that you were living out your relationships wrongly.

          I was just saying that you shouldn’t call those relationships ‘open and honest’. Who knows, your relationship with your husband may indeed be truly honest and open, but I personally would find that unlikely.

          If he has to become something that he is not to satisfy your wants, or vice versa, then to me your relationship is built on lies. You would call that manners, a lawyer may call it a hidden contract and so on and so forth, but to me it would be called a lie.

          I’m not saying that your relationship isn’t successful, that was never my aim. Indeed, I hope you have a long and prosperous live with him – he seems lucky to have met a woman such as you.

          Now, I shall stop. I was originally just hoping to troll some people, but now I’ve spent more time here then I’d have liked to.


        • “A real open and honest relationship to me would be more like:

          ‘Get me a sandwhich’.
          ‘No, I will not get you a sandwhich you faggot, I am not your slave – you make your own sandwhich and make me one while your at it’.
          ‘Well, I might be a faggot, but at least I’m not a ugly whore like you, you filthy bitch – I should have had an affair with your best friend and left you when I had the chance’.
          ‘Well, I’m already having one with yours..’ and so on.

          A little extreme, but you get the point – I hope.”

          No, that’s a couple of assholes being extremely disrespectful to each other. Maybe some people are just gigantic assholes by default, so they think it’s appropriate to say those things, but some of us have manners and the decency to treat other people like human beings. Plus, if my husband asked me to make him a sandwich, I would do it, because our relationship is more traditional, and the idea of being a housewife who takes care of her husband doesn’t make me run away screaming in terror. However, my husband wouldn’t state it like a demand–he would add “please” onto the request for a sandwich, not because that’s how he thinks I would want him to say it, but because he’s not a disrespectful asshole.

          My husband is actually the only person who sees the real me. I’m too afraid to show anyone else who I really am, but he knows everything. I don’t have to pretend to be someone I’m not around him, and he doesn’t have to pretend to be someone he’s not around me.

          If, like you said, a man says, “Yo, that girls pretty cute. Can I have her as my mistress?”, then the woman DOES have the freedom to tell him to fuck off if she’s not comfortable with that. I’m not sure why you would think she wouldn’t have that freedom. Sure, it might piss the guy off, and he might dump her, but that means they weren’t right for each other anyway, if they couldn’t handle being in disagreement over that subject. However, for my husband and me…if he said that, my response would be, “Yeah, sure, but you have to share.” and it would be a 100% honest response (unless I thought the girl was unattractive, in which case I would let him know.)

        • @Anon 22:10

          I’ve actually (unfortunately) always been highly demanded by women so I’ve had more than enough encounters to abductivly conclude that they aren’t much. Take off your muramura(horny)goggles and you very quickly realise that most of them have pretty much nothing interesting to say – in fact, it’s often a chore just to talk to them.

          If you think differently, feel free to show me an example of their ‘intrestingness’ – this challenge is open to anyone. You will all quickly come to the realisation that they are all inherently incredibly boring. *

          @Anon 22:07

          I wouldn’t call what you guys call open and honest, open and honest – more, testing the waters until you delimit how far you can go before the other one gets pissed off.

          You guys aren’t really being honest with each other, you are just acting how you believe your partner would want you to act – so as to secure the future of your relationship.

          A real open and honest relationship to me would be more like:

          ‘Get me a sandwhich’.
          ‘No, I will not get you a sandwhich you faggot, I am not your slave – you make your own sandwhich and make me one while your at it’.
          ‘Well, I might be a faggot, but at least I’m not a ugly whore like you, you filthy bitch – I should have had an affair with your best friend and left you when I had the chance’.
          ‘Well, I’m already having one with yours..’ and so on.

          A little extreme, but you get the point – I hope.

          @patamon – A true happy relationship would be one where you don’t have to lie and be something you are not to be loved by your partner of course. I mean, of course, the earlier example was a little extreme, but they were both being honest with each other.

          If you have to deny your being in any sense, I would say that isn’t a ‘happy’ relationship, just one built on lies. A man should be able to freely say – ‘Yo, that girls pretty cute. Can I have her as my mistress?’. And a woman should be able to freely say – ‘Fuck you you faggot. I’ll kill you if you cheat on me, especially with such an ugly pathetic girl. Don’t insult me scum’.

          @Anon 22:07

          How many relationships — successful ones — have you had?

          None. I don’t see why I need to have had successful relationships to criticise your opinion on what a happy relationship is however.

          Now, let’s hope that this message gets through the s*am filter.

          *This is true for males as well though, 2d > 3d.

        • “*Especially as there is no such thing as an interesting real girl in reality. They are all bores.”

          HAHAHAHAHA oh my. Get out of your room and try hanging out with real women for a change. They’re far more interesting than your stupid 2D characters. I have no less than 3 girl friends who’re witty, smart and fun to hang out with. And that’s just in this town.

        • @spoon

          Gee, why would I suppose that their relationships are truly open and honest? Oh, I remember: it’s because I see them on a regular basis and I know they always have issues and problems but at the end of the day or week or whatever, they’re still happy together and their relationship is still going strong, if not stronger! And this isn’t some second-hand info I’m talking about; I see it with my own damn eyes every single day.

          So yes, a truly great and truly ‘happy’ relationship IS built upon open and honest communication. It is a truly open and honest bond because it IS real, it IS happening, and it IS not perfect but they’re making it work, and that’s what makes it real, not some stupid perfect bond you’ve been getting from anime and video games. Seriously, grow up and get lessons apart from TV or fiction, for once. This is why I make fun of otakus and weaboos who always state their opinions on real world versions of things like relationships and the opposite sex, when all they have to base it on are their stupid anime or manga stories.

          And you still haven’t answered my question: how many relationships — successful ones — have you had?

        • “Also, I don’t agree with your assumption that a truly great and truly ‘happy’ relationship is built upon open and honest communication. It isn’t.”

          I’d like to know why you believe that, because I think it’s absolute bullshit.

          I’ve been in my relationship for nine years now, married for two. Any problem we’ve had has been a result of poor communication, so we’ve always worked hard to make sure we’re being open and honest with each other. We probably would not be happy together if we hadn’t worked to improve our communication with each other.

          How can a relationship succeed when the individuals involved are communicating poorly or being dishonest with each other? I can’t see that leading to happiness at all. So, what do you think is the foundation for a happy relationship? I’m curious to know.

        • @Anon 20:57

          Firstly, you can have a maid for a partner, they are not mutually exclusive. Secondly, it’s not like I’m a worthless bugger who wouldn’t care for her. Of course I would, but I still would prefer a good cook then an ‘interesting’ girl*.

          Secondly, not that I am trying to insult the integrity of your parents relationship and the relationships of your friends – but you are still supposing that their relationships are truly open and honest.

          I am sure they would never betray each other, and I am sure they share a great bond, but a truly open and honest bond is something entirely different to the bond you are talking about.

          *Especially as there is no such thing as an interesting real girl in reality. They are all bores.

        • @spoon

          “I can live without a relationship, but I could never live without food, good food~. I’d rather have a woman who cooks well and cooks often then a woman that I ‘enjoy’ spending time with or a woman who ‘looks good’. Especially as both of those are variables that are easily prone to change, generally towards the negative.”

          Then you’re looking for a maid, not a partner. Seriously, the more you spout these things, the more your age shows.

          “Also, I don’t agree with your assumption that a truly great and truly ‘happy’ relationship is built upon open and honest communication. It isn’t.”

          My parents (going 32 years now), my aunt and uncle (40 years and still going strong), and a couple of my friends who have been married with their partners for around 5 -7 years now disagree with you. Let me ask you something: how many relationships — successful ones — have you had?

        • @Anon 20:39 I wouldn’t mind having a relationship with a woman, in fact I’d ideally like to have a godly harem. It just isn’t possible to obtain the type of woman/en that I wan’t in this reality, so I don’t try.

          Maybe I should though, now that I think about it. I shall try and marry a beautiful chef. edit. actually a cute chubby chinese chef – like the girl from Mahou Sensei Negima

        • I can live without a relationship, but I could never live without food, good food~. I’d rather have a woman who cooks well and cooks often then a woman that I ‘enjoy’ spending time with or a woman who ‘looks good’. Especially as both of those are variables that are easily prone to change, generally towards the negative.

          Also, I don’t agree with your assumption that a truly great and truly ‘happy’ relationship is built upon open and honest communication. It isn’t.

  • It seems that the virtue of patience is understimated, yet again.

    When I had a wife, the most difficult shit to cope with, was precisely patience. Maybe we were too young at the time. We both ended wanting to kill each other.

    Fuck, sometimes I miss her bossy-bitchin’. Well, neither of us is japanese.

    Don’t get married with someone that has lower patience level than yourself. At some point, one of the party HAS to repent -even if right- or the marriage is fucked.

    That was my point. Lol.

  • Its very sad when patience is the best thing to show up on both list. Sense you need a shit load of it to deal with your wife/husband for the next 10 to 60 years of your life. But also there are a few (Keyword being FEW) that actually have good if not great marriages that last a lifetime. The key to marrying someone is to get someone who will take you at your worst as they would at your best.

    • I don’t know anything about the Japanese opinion about marriage, but in my country, marriage mean boding not only by love, but also responsibility and social relationships. It’s not like then you all done, just “Sign this, pack that then fuck off”. Not that simple Not the responsibility required by laws, but thing is, when you have kid, you have to consider divorce or not may affect your children, and how their lives may turn out to be, and also your social status maybe affected. Ah yes, the social status, like a husband can be a really powerful wife-beater fiend, but the wife can’t really do much except take the hit and be quiet. Divorce in my country, is serious business (lol), and some how it’s remarkable humanity/ and absolutely evil, on the other side.
      And yeah, i’m a 100% Vietnamese, that backwater country you may not even heard of, lol.

      • Just because men may like maids and submissive females doesn’t actually make them misogynistic, by the way. It’s the exact same when women claim to want a buff, bad boy for a boyfriend, yet men are of course the bad ones for wanting what they want.

        The dominant/submissive relationship is ingrained in our humanity. The changes in it happen based on certain life experience and sexual orientation, but in general, men seek to dominate, and many women, whether they admit it or not, enjoy being submissive in some form or another. Being dominated doesn’t mean complete loss of control like they want to be told to go into the kitchen and make a sandwich, of course, so don’t be a fool and read that like misogyny. It’s a well known dichotomy.

        A relationship is give and take, forming a balance with the other half. The issue with modern culture is we’re rejecting an outdated contract that was thrust upon us by a controlling body a thousand years ago. The idea that both sides of a relationship can have freedom AND commitment is no longer seen as mythical, and as such, people realize they don’t need to sacrifice everything to be in a happy marriage if they are patient.

        As for the Japanese on the other hand… I have a hard time imagining these polls are even very reasonable. It’s like we’re reading the equivalent of Maxim or Oprah magazine polls yet because they’re from Japan we somehow think they’re special. I’m curious if love is actually on these or if this is pure pragmatism.

        • “in general, men seek to dominate, and many women, whether they admit it or not, enjoy being submissive in some form or another”

          Give me statssss

          Not gonna deny that there are many sub women and dom men out there, but saying that “in general, men seek to dominate”? Hnnn no. Of course dom men and sub women shouldn’t be shamed for their proclivities, but it does become damaging when you assume that that sort of relationship is the norm, because it really isn’t.

          Also recognize that peoples’ roles in relationships and especially the bedroom don’t necessarily reflect their roles outside of it. One of my closest friends is very meek and submissive most of the time, but in his relationships he’s a total dom.

        • @ Anon 17:48

          You’re right… I feel quite foolish… I again made the mistake of starting to treat Artefact like anything other than a terrible news provider.

          @ Anon 18:46

          Well by now 3DPD is a running gag, I doubt anywhere close to as many people actually agree with that as they seem. And as for “All women want is your money” well… in Japan’s case what little evidence we have is really not working in their favor. At least for their equivalent of America’s Generation X that is. I’m hoping the younger kids who are a bit more enterprising will reveal themselves to be a bit more open about their relationship potentials… however the teen prostitution also damages that prospect.

          So yeah, in the end, it’s hard to blame them for thinking that sometimes.

        • It’s not even that. By misogynists, I meant the knee-jerk reaction of most of these pathetic Sancom users which essentially go “ALL WOMEN WANT IS YOUR MONEY”, “3DPD”, and other stupid lines of thought.

    • No, Because a good Japanese girlfriend is expected to be able to fix bentos and valentines chocolates for her boyfriend. This is a list of traits that your ok with a girlfriend not having but not your wife.

      Now get in the kitchen and make me a sammich.

  • Ignoring kindness (which is very vague and is on both lists), no. 2 seems pretty obvious. What’s the point of supporting somebody if she can’t freaking boil water.

    I don’t get no.5. Are you more willing to accept a sick girlfriend than a sick wife? I’m puzzled.

    No. 9 should be A LOT higher, though.

    • If you ask me , I don’t care about health, as they say in the marriage vows… I will always love you..blabla… in sickness and in health.

      I’d do what Tomoya did….stick with Nagisa even though she was a sickly girl. That’s what love is all about right? Accepting everything, the best and worst, because you love that person.

  • Wait wait wait I hardly see that these statics support japanese wanting house maids. A house maid won’t have sex for you or bear your children unless they are trying to dive deeper into your pocket. Well I guess in Japan, marriage isn’t a good thing, but I wish Sankaku wouldn’t look at marriage everywhere in the world as a negative thing. You just got to find the right partner.

    Though my argument probably won’t go well here. It’s like dragging a horse to water. PEOPLE ARE TO PESSIMSTIC ABOUT MARRAIGE. I AM IN DESPAIR! ZETSUBOU DA!

    • There’s been studies done where it has been found that the ‘happiness’ one derives from getting married and falling in love and all that stuff only lasts for 3 years at most. After which we adapt and it’s all the same old same old.

      It’s thinking like yours that leads to high divorce rates and to inevitably deranged children born into messed up families.

      Don’t let your sole criteria for choosing a wife be love, instead look for a woman who you’d be willing to [b]put up with[/b] for the rest of your life.

        • I see why your bored with people and women. You base everything on behavioral resesarch rather than actual experience. You complain about women but I can gaurentee that you have dated women of simillar types but your narrow mindness bordens that small margin.

          The reason why I can state facts like these is not because of resarch, but because of my experience as a human being. Different people will absoultely have different responses. You however only see things in one light, though out this post you’ve been arguing your one opinion.

          Often times you talk about the absolute ideal in a relationship. You say being open and honest is wrong, but lying in a relationship is wrong as well. Relationships are about compromising choosing not to do something, or to do something for the sake of your parterner. you mae sacrifices because you care for one another. it can’t be perfect or convient at all times.

          Honestly in todays convience based societies marriage is inconvient. Being marriage mean being self sacrifing to and extent for your lover and children if any. You can’t always do what you want and spend money on what you’d like. You can’t be the impulsive buying type that the media wants you to be. With marriage one must have restraint to do what is nessisary at most times and comfort in thier choices for themselves and thier partner.

          people not willing to make plausible sacrifes and compromise shouldn’t be in a relationship. They should be single and let mainstream businesses and society make those compromises for them where they aren’t aware of them.

        • Its true that humans are highly adaptive, and a gift given won’t make someone happier the second and third time around, but there also also other variables that can change this for better or for worse. If you give someone a gift in the same way on the same day every year it will be special but expected. That why a gift should be unexpected and the situatuion out of the ordinary if you really want to make someone happy. You should also limit the amount of “gifts” given by time. If you struggle with your daily life but your lover offers you freedom from that hell you’ll be happy.

          When you have kids you have to change your stratedgy in way that you can make both you lover and your kids happy. People are lost because they feel the need to have constant happiness but thats impossible for anyone. And its even harder for someone whose’s single or a lonner. You can treat yourself to whatever you like, but you always have to work hard for it and you alway know you’ll get it.

          If you can’t live with being unhappy you can’t live married or single. however, if you can’t live with direct compromise you can only be single.

        • Look into behavioural economics.
          Happiness Research

          I’d like you to take my word for it just this once – can’t be bothered to find sauce.

          Humans are highly adaptive creatures and happiness is just a momentary thing. It’s like when someone gets horiffically injured – they’re depressed, but eventually they adapt. Same as when you buy somethng nice and expensive. Gives you a short boost then it’s gone. It’s the same with marriage.

      • Like I said, if I love her, others don’t matter.

        Which includes accepting everything about her and being able to live with it for the rest of my life.

        It’s not the happiness of falling in love nor of getting married.

        People these days expect too much from watching anime and movies. No girl is perfect.

        • anime girls aren’t perfect. you alot of them its thier faults that make them unique and attractive…
          like being tsundere, yandere, shy, or dorky
          Tiga’s idiosyncrasies as a tsudere are different than Kirino’s..

          perfect can do no wrong anime charecters, are a bit of a let down.