Top 10 Qualities You’d Seek in a Husband but not a Boyfriend


Japanese women asked what qualities they seek in a husband but would not necessarily want in a boyfriend provide a suitably pragmatic ranking.

The ranking:

1. Kindness

2. A stable job

3. Similar values

4. Tolerance

5. Health

6. Desire for children

7. Seriousness

8. He can drive

9. Composure

10. Independence from his family

Strangely enough, although “stable work” is 2nd in the ranking, “a high salary” is only 23rd.

Dead last at 30 is “academic attainment” – an unsurprising position as academic qualifications beyond a bachelor’s degree are virtually useless for all but career academics in Japan, as employers prefer to brainwash employees themselves instead.

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    Comment by Anonymous
    13:23 27/04/2011 # ! Quality (+1.0)

    My 'Desire for children' is massive, please marry me.

    Avatar of Yoshii-kun
    Comment by Yoshii-kun
    13:36 27/04/2011 # ! Quality (+0.8)

    You desire the "process", not the "result" of it.

    Comment by Anonymous
    13:40 27/04/2011 # ! Quality (+1.0)

    I don't think that was what was being said there.

    Avatar of Darkrockslizer
    Comment by Darkrockslizer
    20:09 27/04/2011 # ! Quality (+0.9)

    With loli marriage, you can have both.

    Avatar of YOSHIYUKI
    Comment by YOSHIYUKI
    21:06 27/04/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    Ahahaha,you're great.

    Comment by Anonymous
    09:00 28/04/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    Fantastic, I didn't read it that way at all until you said that, haha.

    Avatar of Diemeow23
    Comment by Diemeow23
    13:45 27/04/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    It does not need to be

    With a few exceptions

    Avatar of tingle
    Comment by tingle
    18:29 27/04/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    i'm pretty sure his desire for children is like the Asterotte's toy desire

    Avatar of cats2
    Comment by cats2
    21:07 27/04/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    Wow, that made me laugh way harder then it probably should have.

    Thanks anonymous, lol...

    Avatar of bamboocopter
    Comment by bamboocopter
    18:11 27/04/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    lets make babies

    Avatar of alidan
    Comment by alidan
    19:28 27/04/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    i have no desire for children, (am planing to get a vasectomy soon) so dont tell her that. and tell her if i did have a child it would be delivered by angels or other sudo romantic crap. how many years do you think we would fuck for before she caught on?

    Comment by Anonymous
    13:40 27/04/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    Depends do you really want to experience Bankruptcy and One meal a day that much then be my guest XD

    Avatar of Zanosuke_Kurosaki
    Comment by Zanosuke_Kurosaki
    15:06 27/04/2011 # ! Quality (+0.8)

    "3. Similar values"

    This one should really be 1. Because without having some of the same beliefs about what's important in life and what's not, well... that's where all those marital fights spring from.

    Avatar of Sodium Chloride
    Comment by Sodium Chloride
    22:15 27/04/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    There is an saying in Asia,

    "In the west you marry because you loved, in the east you love because you are married."

    It's a more a "deal with it" philosophy I suppose - kind of going out of style in recent times though.

    Westerners might think it's a terrible thing, that in goes against their "rights".

    But no two people are a perfect match, life ain't a fairy tale, even people who near perfect match will grow apart over time as they age.
    Deal with it and compromise, or divorce.

    Avatar of LDC
    Comment by LDC

    "values" is such a conservative word.

    Comment by Anonymous
    20:05 27/04/2011 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    except that it's not

    Comment by Anonymous
    05:43 30/04/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    People may have down-voted you, but it is indeed often used as a keyword for "Christian", so I understand what you mean.

    Avatar of Kamao
    Comment by Kamao
    00:24 28/04/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    now that's just wrong

    Avatar of Holy One
    Comment by Holy One
    14:30 27/04/2011 # ! Good (+0.6)

    I can foresee everyone here thinking, 'Where's the money?' XD

    Avatar of yaku
    Comment by yaku
    00:08 28/04/2011 # ! Good (+0.4)

    Presumably it's included in the "stable job". These women know how it's more secure to have a stable job and regular pay in the long run. A high salary won't help if you're suddenly fired and have no regular income.

    Comment by Anonymous
    21:32 27/04/2011 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    Money? Money?

    Comment by Anonymous
    13:59 27/04/2011 # ! Good (+0.5)

    1. Kindness (somebody who doesn't mind being a slave)
    2. A stable job (wired straight to my bank account)
    3. Similar Values (he doesn't think brand names and designer shopping sprees are blasphemous)
    4. Tolerance (Won't flip out when I decide to put my own group of giggly girlfriends before him)
    5. Health - because as a wife I'd be expected to nurse my husband, and hence I'd rather I never had to waste time doing anything like that
    6. Desire for Children - I must have children before I'm really old or society will ostracise me
    7. Seriousness - yes because the boyfriend I'm screwing on the side does enough to make me laugh
    8. He can drive - (personal cab service to drive me and aforementioned boyfriend around)
    9. Composure - (can remain composed enough not to hospitalise aforementioned boyfriend and throw me out of his house when this happens)
    10. Independence from his family - when I insult his mother, I don't want her to have any cards up her sleeve - also I expect to be loved more than his mother, the fact that she gave birth to him and nurtured him into who he is today is irrelevant I deserve to be worshipped cuz I'm pretty.

    - This is how i see it -

    Comment by Anonymous
    17:25 27/04/2011 # ! Good (+0.6)

    "6. Desire for Children - I must have children before I'm really old or society will ostracise me"

    So why does Japan have a negative population growth D:

    Comment by Anonymous
    17:17 28/04/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    I believe the answer to that lies in the next list about what men want from their wives - makes it fairly clear why they're far from experiencing any baby booms

    Avatar of spoon
    Comment by spoon
    15:12 27/04/2011 # ! Good (+0.3)

    To be fair, the view of us men when pushed to the extreme isn't really that great either.

    When observed through certain perspectives, human relationships really are not the nicest of things. They are all about making use of each other to achieve some form of end, whether it be momentary happiness, pleasure, security, or the more long term goal of having ze babies.

    We all use each other to derive some form satisfaction, we are all whores in the end.

    So try not to be so bitter old fellow. You are just as bad as they are.

    2D > 3D.

    Comment by Anonymous
    15:21 27/04/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    you're just proving my point - we do use each other for our own ends. Its not a gender specific thing, but women are unique in the sense that they don't admit to it.

    To clarify I wasn't being bitter I was just being realistic.

    Avatar of spoon
    Comment by spoon
    15:28 27/04/2011 # ! Quality (+0.8)

    If that was your point then forgive me for misunderstanding.

    Though, I must say it is quite common for the guys to consider themselves as being 'good' whilst the women as being 'bad' e.g. Bitches and Whores.

    When the truth is, we are all shit.

    Comment by Anonymous
    17:03 28/04/2011 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    I'd argue its the "innocent little girl" mentality that prevails.

    Avatar of Shippoyasha
    Comment by Shippoyasha

    I think the truth is that most people aren't that big an asshole on either side of gender divide. It's the few spectacular assholes that makes a bad name.

    Though that said, I do think guys can sometimes get taken more seriously in relationship talk. Especially if it's with infidelity, the girl is automatically the 'loose' and the 'slut' while the guy is a 'player'.

    I love how us women are getting more societal power, but the way relationships are talked about, it's still the same 'good old boys' mentality.

    Avatar of minakichan
    Comment by minakichan
    15:58 27/04/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    This. Woo!

    Saying that one prefers 2D because one is afraid of REAL WOMEN OH NOES THEY ARE NOT AS PURE AND HONEST AND KIND AS US MEN is weakness. This is a far more realistic view.

    2D > 3D because men AND women suck. All of us included, even you, Anon.

    Comment by Anonymous
    22:44 27/04/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    we know that we are really bad ppl and a relationship is just a way to see who can cope better with the trouble it causes :D

    Comment by Anonymous
    21:38 28/04/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    Women suck more, if ya know what I mean :3

    Comment by Anonymous
    20:33 27/04/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    >look at me being cynical!
    >am i cool and edgy yet?

    Comment by Anonymous
    13:46 29/04/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    I'm sorry, I couldn't hear what you were saying through all the ragingly loud misogyny.

    Comment by Anonymous
    15:04 27/04/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    fuck this is depressing, especially since most of it is likely to be true. Most Asian women (not limited to japanese) I know take advantage of their boyfriends, so when they get married....I shudder at the thought.

    Comment by Anonymous
    15:12 27/04/2011 # ! Quality (+1.0)

    As a man married to a Korean woman, I have to say that this has not been my experience. However, my best friend's Chinese wife pulls all of this shit on him and he's miserable, so I think I just nabbed a good one.

    These polls really make me think that Japanese women are fucking revolting on the inside. But what a pretty wrapper they come in...

    Comment by Anonymous
    16:40 27/04/2011 # ! Quality (+1.0)

    that's why u shouldn't marry a dragon lady ;)

    Comment by Anonymous
    16:01 27/04/2011 # ! Good (+0.6)

    You think those are bad? some women from China will push those terms into the extreme and drive your family apart for your fortune if you ever fell in love with a bad one

    some distance relative granddad who owned a hotel realized that women have drive his 3 sons and him apart, couldnt take the stress and taken his own life. and bitch try getting all the heritage to herself through lawsuit and shyt

    freaking soap opera i know, but truth, imo China women are the scariest

    Avatar of Renzo
    Comment by Renzo
    23:31 27/04/2011 # ! Neutral (-0.2)

    Prefer westener / native blonde women :D

    Comment by Anonymous
    21:15 27/04/2011 # ! Neutral (+0.4)

    What's more depressing is that they WOULD NOT like kindness or stable work in a boyfriend. How the hell do they court their future husband?!

    Comment by Anonymous
    14:59 27/04/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    Zetsubou-sensei, that you?

    Avatar of Ota-Kool
    Comment by Ota-Kool
    15:55 27/04/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    10. Independence from his family

    The opposite of

    Comment by Anonymous
    22:46 27/04/2011 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    hikkikomori = independence of society guess that fits the meaning pretty well XD

    Avatar of Zanosuke_Kurosaki
    Comment by Zanosuke_Kurosaki
    15:03 27/04/2011 # ! Neutral (-0.2)

    Enjoy living alone a long, long time.

    Avatar of spoon
    Comment by spoon
    15:24 27/04/2011 # ! Quality (+1.0)

    I'll be playing virtual reality mmo in a long long time, so I'll be too busy killing dragons with a big ass sword to care.

    You're a pitiful fellow if you think it essential to have a partner in your life to feel fulfilled.

    Though.. your name is Zanosuke Kurosaki, so I can pretty much guess what kinda a guy you are.

    Avatar of spoon
    Comment by spoon
    16:24 27/04/2011 # ! Good (+0.4)

    Well, I wasn't really trying to be mature. Just saying the future looks great for escapists like me.

    and are you angry with me or something?

    Avatar of spoon
    Comment by spoon
    16:10 27/04/2011 # ! Good (+0.4)

    I'm being honest there kid.

    I'm sure you'll be doing the same. The future doesn't look the greatest, but it doesn't seem to bad. Virtual reality mmo's won't be too far off in the future - just a few decades(at least shitty basic ones). Even if they aren't, the games, everything that's coming out in the future looks crazyily awesome.

    I can always get a lolibot daughter if I start feeling ronery. ;)

    Comment by Anonymous
    20:11 27/04/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    no he is not 12 because 12 years old are to stupid to play MMO and they aren't interested in LOLIS. 12 years old are interested in fat chest.
    So he must be at least 17, but probably 20+.

    Comment by Anonymous
    19:42 27/04/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    "How old are you, 12?"

    Epic fail. Worst technique ever to be use to pick a fight with. Lame

    Comment by Anonymous
    23:36 27/04/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    Have you read Sword Art Online? xD

    Comment by Anonymous
    16:19 27/04/2011 # ! Drivel (-0.8)


    I'm pretty sure I'm older than you, "kid". And your way of thinking really doesn't show your sense of "maturity".

    Comment by Anonymous
    16:00 27/04/2011 # ! Drivel (-1.0)

    "I'll be playing virtual reality mmo in a long long time, so I'll be too busy killing dragons with a big ass sword to care."

    How old are you, 12?

    Comment by Anonymous

    Just so you know, the idea that you're cool for going against the norm is already stale and cliche. Besides, an otaku can never be cool, no matter your viewpoints or stance.

    So just shut the fuck up. Just because you can't get a girl doesn't mean you can whine about it.

    Avatar of torappu
    Comment by torappu
    16:19 27/04/2011 # ! Quality (+0.8)

    u mad?

    Comment by Anonymous
    16:33 27/04/2011 # ! Good (+0.6)

    He jelly.

    Comment by Anonymous

    He speaks the truth indeed.

    Comment by Anonymous

    He speaks the truth though.

    Avatar of starsplash
    Comment by starsplash
    17:21 27/04/2011 # ! Neutral (+0.2)

    realism is realism man. YOu dont have to be an asshole because hes seeing things in a realistic troubling scenario than the norm about marriage and relationships which is what you seem to be pushing for. Its just the way people see things, some people are more direct and realistic (me). You have to be a complete moron to not even think that any of what he proposed isn't a possibility.

    Everyone whines man. Thats realism. Ur whining just like he is. What makes you think you are any different?

    If you are really against us Otakus, then ur opinions dont mean dick since you wont even consider the alternatives. You might as well show ur dick somewhere else because we aren't interested.

    Comment by Anonymous

    I hear that's not what you said when your brother fucked you in the ass last night.

    Comment by Anonymous

    2D for life. amirite?

    Avatar of spoon
    Comment by spoon
    16:00 27/04/2011 # ! Good (+0.6)

    That or you can find a reasonable woman to settle down with. Your going to have to lower your standards and be willing to put up with a lot of trouble however. Though, you could always do what quite a number of guys do these days and search overseas for a girl.

    The world is not a nice place unfortunately. If we are able to be selfish, we will most certainly be selfish - which is why marriages never last these days really. Before you kinda had to put up with the trouble, nowadays due to our prosperity (+ vibrators and porn) we are all able to just say fuck it.

    Avatar of spoon
    Comment by spoon
    06:40 28/04/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    She already has incredibly low standards, considering the guys she's been partially interested in recently.

    Either way, to put it bluntly, don't overestimate yourself anon. Your argument supposes that your personality is desirable and your actions are worthy of praise or is desirable for a woman who seeks lifelong companionship. To both suppositions I say, know your place.

    Your description of yourself as being overweight, unshaved with a receding hairline already highlights that you are not marriage material. How can I expect you to take care of my (and yes, I expect you to take care of her) sister if you can't even take care of yourself? You may indeed be a 'nice' guy, but marriage is a difficult thing. Having kids and raising them is a difficult thing. Looking after each other when you're old is a difficult thing.

    Marriage and relationships in general are about self-sacrifice. If you can't even be bothered to sacrifice some time and effort to take care of yourself, you are most certainly not marriage material.

    You are free to call her a whore and all that blah, but you are nothing more then a little shit who doesn't know his place. I would never let a worthless bastard like you near her - I know your type. Don't overestimate yourself anon.

    Comment by Anonymous
    22:49 27/04/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    just try to change her view of that said "prince" into someone: unshaved, overweight and with slight receeding hairline and tell her start looking for someone she can like for his personality and his actions

    Avatar of spoon
    Comment by spoon
    16:34 27/04/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    Must say though, it's not like women are all whores that will just drop you entirely. There's plenty that still want to do the whole foreverlove thing.

    My older sister's scared stiff of getting into a relationship because she's still a pure pure girl for example. She wants to marry some princely guy, but the only guys around her are worthless bastards.

    I would put you into that category before you say you'd be a good partner for her though.

    Avatar of minakichan
    Comment by minakichan

    I'm sorry to hear that you're still suffering trauma from being molested by your mother or some other female figure in your childhood. =(((

    But don't worry about it! You don't have to deal with those scary, scary women in your life! I hear a lubed-up asshole is even more comfortable than a pussy.

    Comment by Anonymous
    16:38 27/04/2011 # ! Neutral (0)

    ur probably the biggest douche on this comment thread. apparently not very well informed either.

    Comment by Anonymous

    Says the moron who can't grasp what a snarky reply is.

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