“My Husband Prefers a Dakimakura to Me…”
- Author: Artefact
- Categories: Anime, H, News
- Date: Apr 5, 2011 19:15 JST
- Tags: 2D vs 3D, Bizarre, Dakimakura, Image Gallery, Marriage, Onanism, Relationships, Sleeping
The story of a wife whose husband rejected her in favour of a dakimakura has lately been the subject of much otaku sympathy, largely towards the dakimakura…
The tale concerns a married couple, both 38:
We slept together when first married, but after my second child we slept in different rooms. I slept with the children.
When we need to, I sneak into my husband’s room and go back to the children’s bed when we’re done.
My husband was saying “If we’re not together until morning it’s lonely,” but then a year ago he bought a full-sized dakimakura.
He really got into it, and said “If I have this I sleep like a baby!”
However, it started to get a bit manky, but when I suggested he buy a new one he just told me “I like the deeply ingrained odour it has now.”
His body odour isn’t bad, but I really don’t like the intense odour of the dakimakura when I sneak in.
So I came up with a compromise plan.
“I’ll put the children to bed, then sleep in this room with you” I suggested.
“Why?”
“You got the dakimakura because you were lonely when I didn’t sleep with you until the morning, right?”
“Well, that was then.”
“That was then? What are you on about? Anyway, just get rid of that dakimakura, OK?”
“That would have been OK back then, but not now. I prefer to sleep with the dakimakura. With you until morning? No thanks!”
So I lost to the dakimakura…
The telling of the tale of course rather overlooks the fact that a few years before it could have been told as “My wife prefers sleeping with our children to me!”
Which character or characters grace his dakimakura cover is not mentioned, but the dakimakura humping demographic of 2ch is unsympathetic all the same:
“Sounds about right.”
“I bet the dakimakura was printed with a character…”
“Because old hags stink…”
“After two kids she’s probably none to appealing to sleep with.”
“At 38 pretty people are still pretty… it was the wife’s mistake to refuse to sleep with him in the first place anyway. Serves her right.”
“It’s probably made up in any case!”
“Just some reporter’s delusion…”
“Why must he sleep with some old woman anyway? After he gets home from work he doesn’t need to be tortured any more.”
“Advantages of dakimakura:
Light.
No arms.
No snoring.
If they get in the way you can throw them out of bed with no complaints.”
“Anyway, my wife:”
“You went for 2D but still chose a bitch…”
[The thread contains more recent examples of dakimakura wives:]
| 
Dead or Alive Ero-SFM Doubly Dirty
Flying Witch “Cute But Boring…”
Phantasy Star Online 2 Phantastic: “What About the West!?”
Shounen Maid “A Fujoshi Delight”
Terra Formars Live Action Web Drama Announced
Dragon Quest Heroes II Quite Monstrous
KumaMiko Lovingly Innocent
Aqua Onahole Parody Hopefully Moist
A-Size Classmate Profusely Petite
One Day With Maria Raunchy & Romantic
The Reject Demon: Toko Chapter 0 Raises Its Voice
Hai-Furi in Troubled Waters
Star Fox Zero “Pandering To Kids!”
Kiznaiver Shares Its Pain
Love Live’s Koi ni Naritai Aquarium PV “Will Sell Thousands!”
Skimpy Kataigou Figure
Ellen Baker’s Illustrator: “Keep It Clean!”
Bullet Girls 2 Goes At It From All Angles
Sword Art Online: Hollow Realization A Real Grind
Koutetsujou no Kabaneri Immensely Gruesome
Goddess of 2ch “Another Bathing Beauty!”
Tantalizing Hestia Cosplay Busts Out
Kashiwazaki Sena Cosplay Pure & Innocent
Minami Kotori Casino Girl Cosplay Takes No Chances
Shimakaze Cosplay by Ema Sakura
Harley Quinn Cosplay by Miyuko Colorfully Crazy
Sonico Ero-Cosplay by Yuka Hoshikage Super Sexy
Kasugano Sora Bunny Girl Cosplay Absolutely Admirable
Goddess of 2ch: “Barely Legal Beauty!”
Highly Yuri Tenryuu & Tatsuta Cosplay by Garo & Usagi
Waifu > wife
But he should really give her a wash.
"You went for 2D but still choose a bitch."
AHHHAHAHAHA. All to true.
A dakimakura when unrelated to otaku is just the large pillow.
At least the Dakimakura doesn't get jealous over the other pillow in the bed.
He should really give her a wash? I'm sorry, we're still talking about the pillow right?
Yes, that wife does need a wash, doesn't she?
You sir fail in RL.
you sir fail in sancom
You are not worthy of having Nagisa's beloved Dango Daikazoku as your avatar.
Your obsession with failure and "winning" just shows how pathetic you all are. Uncomfortable with your own life, you try to find problems in others to feel better about yourselves... Ridiculous...
Interesting
Her husband turned pillowphile because she wouldn't sleep with him, serves her right.
this is the reason why being otaku give's as bad reputation this is just sad.
This is the reason why women have a bad reputation. Frankly, a guy gets married in order to sleep alone while the wifey sleeps with the cubs? Good grief. Oh, yeah, but when she gets jealous of a pillow suddenly she can go back to his bed.
You clearly have never had children.
No I don't, but I'd like a 2d waifu.
She's sleeping with their own children, not another man.
But hey, I guess it's still her fault for not giving him what a man's supposed to get. I find it hard to believe that she ALWAYS fell asleep before the kids do. So when a man found an alternative exit and got used to it, he ain't letting it go that easily.
Maybe she should rape him in sexy lingerie to get her husband's appetite back. Also, quit watching soap operas all noon and do some fucking exercise.
She WAS sleeping with him. Learn to read.
No, she was having sex with him, not sleeping with him.
Sleeping in this context does mean sex. That's why people ask if you slept with a certain person. It's all in context.
Sexist much?
How is that sexist? I don't think that word means what you think it means, faggot.
That's okay, because I can assure you that it does.
By the way, you're mis-using a word there. Guess which.
No, the guy was right, nobody was being sexist and you don't know what the word means. And yeah, you are somewhat faggoty, sorry.
If two Anonymous posters agree on something, it must be true, right? Or they could be the same person, or both idiots.
Did you even read it? She says that she would 'sneak in' to do stuff, and then go back to the kids.
Besides, the kids are probably young- she won't be sleeping with them when they're older.
Guess what, he won't be sleeping with her when she is older either.
like his limp dick could get is up by then LOL
“You went for 2D but still chose a bitch…”
*Kirino daikimakura*
Lmao, best comment for this article.
I lolled so hard at the comment on the Kirino dakimakura: "You went for 2D and still got a Bitch." xD rofl
you sir are epic.
oh will the depravity never end
I laughed so hard!
still laughing at this
At least she is cute.**
Girls can get away with a lot of things when they are attractive.
**And she really isn't that bad a girl, just a "bad communicator". :p
You'd bow down for a pretty bitch?!
CUT YOUR DICK OFF, MAGGOT! YOU DON'T DESERVE TO BE A MAN!
*rapes an Ivy Valentine dakimakura*
Oh I'd bow down all right if you know what I mean ;)
Goddamnit Anon22:45...
I'd rather make WOMEN bow down for me, not the other way around. Some things a man should rather 'give' than to 'take', you know? lol
I prefer to think of it as perseverance. :p
Figuring out the correct flags to trigger the good ending route takes time.
You must learn patience grasshopper. (-_-)
You mean, you'd bow down for a trap? Because bowing down for a woman isn't exactly... you know...
Let the wife ride him while he uses the dakimakura to cover her from his sight. Win situation
The man cuddles the Dakimakura and slept like a baby.
So I assume the wife is stiff as a board.
I don't think anyone should apologise for not being a contortionist that can deform up to 70% in size when squeezed.
The dakimakura must have been more flat-chested than the wife near her 40ies.
Chances are down to some basics too, he probably just discovered how comfortable it is to put a pillow between your knees when you sleep. I can't get my legs comfortable unless I do if I sleep on my side. Same for the arms, if you don't have a platform for the arm not against the bed, you have this uncomfortable dangling feeling on that arm unless you get a pillow in there.
I wonder if it's just that simple and she's turning it into something else. I'd be able to believe that easily if he hadn't brought up that he likes how it smells though... that one does baffle me a bit...
Damn you HouseLife Can't stop imagine Freeman or House with their Dakimakuras!
You are now unable to picture anything but Hugh Laurie with a dakimakura of Gordon Freeman.
probably has to worry about guarding his wallet at night, with her in the room. That's enough to keep any sane man awake.
Hahaha! You've got the point.
:-D
I bet the Dakimakura is not even anime-related, otherwise, the title for this would be "My husband is a filth otaku, I fear for my children".
I don't think any wife would take so easy if Shana or an eroge character were on hers husband's dakimakura.
you know, judging by the following lines of hers:
"His body odour isn’t bad, but I really don’t like the intense odour of the dakimakura when I sneak in."
she says the dakimakura has a somehwat intense odour. guess you can figure out the rest...
“That was then? What are you on about? Anyway, just get rid of that dakimakura, OK?”
notice how she insists to get rid of it.
conclusion: it could really be an anime-daki. maybe just some fluffy and cute character, nothing too extreme of course.
Obviously, the solution is for the wife to get an even smexier dakimakura for her own bed.
or ware the pillow case over her head.
the image contains a paper bag upside down with eye and mouth holes cout out.
the caption reads "you'll do"
Maybe it's Belldandy on the dakimakura (not some loli)?